### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Rhythmic Contrast:** The prose successfully mirrors the elemental conflict. Mira’s sections use heat-based, active verbs ("bubbled," "hissed," "roared") while Dorian’s introduction utilizes sharp, crisp phrasing ("shattered," "crystallized," "pillar of stillness").
*   **Voice Signature Adoption:** 
    *   **Mira:** Her use of "obviously" as a sarcasm tell is perfectly executed: *"It was—obviously—a brilliant idea."* Her curse scale is present: *"Stars' sake, he’s actually done it."*
    *   **Dorian:** His trademark understatement is utilized effectively: *"The situation is suboptimal, certainly."* 
*   **Sensory Integration:** The "Sensory Bleed" is visceral and maps well to the established world-state. The description of Mira feeling Dorian’s "obsessive calculation" against her "chaotic joy" anchors the romantic stakes.
*   **Dialogue Distinction:** 
    *   **Mira:** (YES) identifiable by her tactile metaphors and run-on sentences when arguing.
    *   **Dorian:** (YES) identifiable by his "evidence suggests" phrasing and grammatical rigidity.

### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY

*   **Character Name Inconsistency:** 
    *   *Error:* The Project Context and Voice Profile list the male lead as **Dorian Solas** and **Dorian Thorne**. The text uses "Dorian Solas."
    *   *Correction:* Confirm the surname. If "Solas" is the intended name for Chapter 1, ensuring the Voice Profile in the system prompt is updated to "Solas" to prevent future drift. (Note: The prompt header says Thorne, text says Solas).
*   **The "Sensory Bleed" Sequencing:** 
    *   *Error:* The World State/Character State RAG mentions Mira and Dorian are *currently* experiencing each other's states, but the chapter ends with the initial contact. 
    *   *Correction:* Ensure Chapter 2 picks up immediately with the "permanent" nature of this bond as defined in the RAG.

### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY

*   **The "Past and Rot" Repetition:**
    *   *Passage:* "...smelling of *past and rot*—filled her private sanctum..." and "...without looking like you're smelling *past and rot*."
    *   *Fix:* In the first instance, remove the italics. In the second instance (Mira's dialogue), keep the italics or quotes to indicate she is referencing a specific sensory concept she has named. Currently, the first instance feels like the narrator is quoting Mira's future dialogue before she says it.
*   **The Bridge Shockwave:**
    *   *Passage:* "...the sudden shift in pressure sent a shockwave through the bridge."
    *   *Fix:* Clarify if the bridge is physically damaged. The RAG mentions "The Obsidian Bridge (Center Span)" as a stable location for the character state. If the bridge "shatters" or "cracks" (terms used metaphorically later), specify that the *structure* remains intact despite the magical turbulence.

### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Economy of Adverbs:** 
    *   ORIGINAL: "The paper in her hands began to brown at the edges." → SUGGESTED: "The vellum curled, browning where her fingers gripped the margins." 
    *   *Rationale:* Strengthens the tactile nature of Mira's power without relying on "began to."
*   **Dialogue Tag Polish:**
    *   ORIGINAL: "...Mira intercepted, the name tasting like a handful of snow." 
    *   *Rationale:* This is a strong, voice-consistent metaphor. No change needed, but ensure future chapters maintain this "tasting/feeling" quality for Mira.
*   **Rhythm Check:**
    *   ORIGINAL: "Dorian Solas stepped out of the freezing fog." → SUGGESTED: "Dorian Solas stepped from the fog."
    *   *Rationale:* "Freezing" is redundant given the previous sentence describes frost and needles. Shorter rhythm emphasizes his "pillar of stillness" entrance.

### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Leave Mira's Sarcastic "Obviously":** Do not normalize this to "ironically" or "clearly." It is her specific signature.
*   **Leave Dorian's "Suboptimal":** Even if it feels dry, it is his emotional shield. Do not make him sound "more romantic" yet.
*   **Mira’s "Burning Memory" Curse:** Keep this phrase intact; it is a key marker of her emotional thermometer.
*   **The "Burnt Sugar" scent:** This is a plot-relevant clue (the Emperor's corruption) and must remain high-sensory.

### 6. VERDICT

**PASS**

The chapter successfully establishes the "Soul-tether" and "Sensory Bleed" mechanics while adhering strictly to the non-negotiable character voice profiles. The prose is economical, and the rhythm between the two leads creates the necessary friction for a rivals-to-lovers arc. Minor surname consistency (Solas vs. Thorne) should be reconciled in the Project Index.