As Line Editor at Crimson Leaf Publishing, I have audited **Chapter 4: The Arena Disaster**. This chapter successfully transitions the rivalry from intellectual friction to biological necessity. The rhythm of the "Paradox" sequence is high-velocity and effective, though there are specific voice-profile inconsistencies and economy issues that require adjustment.

### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Somatic Sensory Language:** The description of the bond as a "biological echo" and "oily sensation" effectively grounds the magic in the characters' bodies.
*   **Tactile Internal Monologue:** Mira’s realization of Dorian’s state: *"she felt his 'absolute zero' terror at the loss of order."* This perfectly mirrors their established magical identities.
*   **The "Transition Stasis" Imagery:** The "monument of white mist that was hot to the touch but solid as diamond" is a striking visual anchor for the chapter’s climax.
*   **Dorian’s Decompression:** The line *"Dorian did not sleep; he calculated"* is a perfect, economical opening that establishes his voice-signature immediately.

**Voice Signature Audit:**
*   **Dorian:** **YES.** His use of "The circumstances are not auspicious" and "The evidence suggests" aligns perfectly with his formal understatement scale.
*   **Mira:** **PARTIAL.** While her kinetic energy is present, she misses a few of her mandatory "obviously" sarcasm tells and her specific curse-scale markers.

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### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY
*   **The "Binary Star" Sigil Placeholders:** The internal character state for Ch-04 notes Dorian's right hand is scarred with the 'Binary Star' sigil. However, the text says: *"The scorched mark on his silver cuff was a jagged, obsidian blemish..."*
    *   **Correction:** The mark should be explicitly identified as the sigil/pattern on his skin, not just a blemish on the fabric, to align with the permanent physical changes noted in the World State.
*   **Lattice Tiering:** The text mentions the lattices are "Imperial standard" and designed for "solar-tier" loads, yet they fail against a single Starfall pocket.
    *   **Correction:** Clarify that the failure is due to the *interaction* between the pocket and the students' channeled mana, rather than the pocket's raw power exceeding solar-tier limits.

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### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY
*   **The Hand Grab Transition:** 
    *   *Reference:* "He grabbed Mira’s hand, pulling her toward him. The moment their skin met, his heart kicked back to life."
    *   *Problem:* Earlier, it states: "She grabbed his wrists, her fingers searing into his skin...". If they are already touching/locked together as a "binary star," the secondary "grabbing of the hand" feels like a redundant re-ignition.
    *   *Fix:* Ensure the transition from the "Paradox" cast to the collapse maintains physical contact, or explicitly describe them breaking apart and the subsequent *lethal* cold that forces the re-connection.

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### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The western wing is stable, Lyra," Mira said, her voice a vibration he felt in his own chest. "The students are just blowing off steam. Obviously. You Spire folks treat a little sparks-and-fire like a house-fire."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "The western wing is stable, Lyra. The students are just blowing off steam—obviously. You Spire folks treat a few sparks like a gods-damned inferno."
    *   *Rationale:* Strengthens Mira's "obviously" sarcasm tell and removes the repetitive "fire/fire" at the end of the sentence for better economy.
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Fighting is the opposite of the Accord, Mira."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "Conflict is antithetical to the Accord, Mira."
    *   *Rationale:* "Fighting" is too simple for Dorian's formal voice profile. "Antithetical" fits his "Subject-Verb-Object" precision and archaic leanings.

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### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "smooth out" Dorian's dialogue during the climax.** His line *"Ground it through me! ... I am the lens! You are the power!"* is intentionally fragmented. This is the "break in composure" allowed by his voice profile. 
*   **Do not remove Mira’s technical dismissiveness.** Her attitude toward the archives burning ("The fire did you a favor") is a character-defining trait of her "fix it, don't apologize" nature.
*   **Do not fix the "Paradox" physics.** The violation of thermodynamics is an intentional plot point (the "Transition Stasis"), not a scientific error.

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### 6. VERDICT

**REVISE**

The chapter is strong but requires a polish pass to ensure Mira’s specific "Curse Scale" is utilized (e.g., swapping "stars' sake" into her dialogue) and to reconcile the "Binary Star" sigil continuity with the character state database.