**1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE**

*   **Mira’s Voice Signature:** The draft perfectly captures her "Actually. No." self-correction and her "Obviously" sarcasm tell. Her tactile focus ("she touched things to understand them") is maintained through her pressing her palm to Dorian’s heart to sense the rime in his capillaries.
*   **Dorian’s Voice Signature:** His "Formal Understatement Scale" is used with precision. He uses "suboptimal" for a parasitic imperial shield and "the circumstances are... not auspicious" for a potential death trap. The break in his grammar at the climax—"You are everything, Mira"—is a high-impact payoff for his established rigidity.
*   **The Somatic Bleed:** The physical manifestation of the link (smelling rain on hot stone, shared sensory input) remains consistent with the "Grey" resonance established in earlier chapters.
*   **The Pulse Mechanic:** The 11-second monitoring pulse creates a concrete, high-stakes mechanical hurdle that fits the "AI-native/Systemic" world-building requirements.

**Voice Signature Verification:**
*   **Mira:** **YES.** Identified by "Stars' sake," "Past and rot," and the mid-thought pivot ("Actually. No.").
*   **Dorian:** **YES.** Identified by "The evidence suggests" and his increasing formality under pressure.

**2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY**

*   **The Location Error:** 
    *   *Error:* The chapter begins with them in an "Imperial carriage" returning to "The Reach" from a "gala." 
    *   *Contradiction:* Chapter 07 Project Context (Character & World State) explicitly establishes their location as "The Solstice Loom (Ritual Chamber), The Reach." It states the Loom ritual has *already* concluded and they are already *at* the academy. 
    *   *Correction:* Remove the carriage arrival sequence. The chapter should begin with them recovered from the Loom ritual but trapped within the academy by Malchor’s newly arrived "Static Shield" monitoring.
*   **Dorian's Name:**
    *   *Error:* The text refers to him as "Dorian Thorne" in the voice profile but the Project Context/Character State explicitly lists him as **Dorian Solas**.
    *   *Correction:* Ensure "Solas" is the only surname used.
*   **Kaelen’s Timeline:**
    *   *Error:* Mira finds Kaelen’s satchel in a hidden vault and says "He was here... before the Ministry took him." 
    *   *Contradiction:* Chapter 04 established Kaelen died during a "mana-collapse at the steam-blasted bridge." He wasn't "taken" by the Ministry; he was killed by environmental magical failure.
    *   *Correction:* Mira should reflect on the satchel as his legacy left behind prior to the bridge collapse, not an abduction.
*   **The Loom Ritual Discrepancy:**
    *   *Error:* This chapter depicts them discovering the "Weave of Ages" (The Loom) for the first time in a secret vault.
    *   *Contradiction:* The World State for Ch-07 explicitly says "The Solstice Loom: CONCLUDED." They have already used it to stabilize the atmosphere.
    *   *Correction:* The "vault" scene should be a move to *access the archives* or *deep-core logs* of the Loom they just operated, rather than a first-time discovery of the machine itself.

**3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY**

*   **The "Digital" Barrier:**
    *   *Passage:* "It was a monitoring tether. A digital leash."
    *   *Issue:* This is a high-fantasy setting involving "mana-burn," "fire mages," and "ancient looms." The word "digital" breaks immersion and contradicts the established magitech aesthetic (which uses terms like "somatic," "frequency," and "resonance").
    *   *Fix:* Replace "digital" with "aetheric," "arcane," or "resonant."

**4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS**

*   **Physical State Integration (Optional):** The character state notes mention Mira has "frost-nipped fingertips" and Dorian has "Cold-Sick lung congestion." While the cough is mentioned, a brief tactile mention of Mira’s damaged fingertips when she touches the stone trigger would reinforce the "shared survival" theme.
*   **The Inquisitor's Secret (Optional):** The character state notes that Mira knows the tether is "feeding on her fire" and Dorian realizes the "Correction" is a death sentence. The chapter touches on the siphoning, but explicitly centering Mira’s internal dread about her fire being drained would heighten the stakes.

**5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS**

*   **Do not "smooth out" Dorian's dialogue.** His "the evidence suggests" and "circumstances are not auspicious" must remain repetitive; they are anchors for his character.
*   **Do not remove Mira's "Past and rot."** Even if it feels jarring, it is her peak emotional tell.
*   **Do not fix Mira's run-on sentences.** When she says, "We could — actually. No. Yes. We could," it must remain fragmented.

**6. VERDICT**

**REVISE.** 
The prose and character voices are excellent, but the chapter exists in a "location vacuum" that contradicts the established Chronology/World State (treating the Loom as a new discovery and placing them in a carriage when they are already in the Ritual Chamber). These must be aligned to maintain the series' logic.