**1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE**
*   **The "Analog" Conflict:** The visceral struggle with the fire ants is a perfect structural obstacle. It isn’t just a nuisance; it’s a "rejection" by the land itself. *“The seedlings were gone, the tender stalks chewed to nothing by ten thousand vibrating mandibles.”*
*   **Arthur’s Ghostly Influence:** The use of cardinal directions (North-by-Northwest) and the "Hmph" stress marker (Voice Sig: Arthur) successfully anchors David in the legacy of the cabin. The description of the table being bolted to the floor as *“the architecture of a man who expected a storm every day of his life”* is a high-tier world-building detail.
*   **Voice Differentiation:** 
    *   **David:** YES. His internal monologue is a battlefield of old corporate jargon ("systemic leak," "throughput") and new, rougher reality. 
    *   **Sarah:** YES. Even in her brief appearance, her use of "Error 404" and her tactile pens-clicking habit (Voice Sig: Sarah) clearly identifies her.
    *   **The "G" Drop:** The transition of David dropping his 'g's (*“runnin’,” “clearin’”*) mirrors Arthur's imperfection signature as his stress increases.

**2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY**
*   **The Sarah/David Identity Error:** 
    *   **The Error:** The chapter header and text identify the POV as **David**, but the Character State (ch-07) and Voice Signatures (Sarah/Sarah Jenkins) indicate a major conflict. The RAG context lists "Sarah Jenkins" as DECEASED (Ch-01) and her displacement as Marcus's catalyst. However, the chapter features a *living* Sarah in the cabin with a son, Leo. 
    *   **The Correction:** Clarify if this is a different Sarah or if the database is lagging. If this is the "Sarah" Marcus feels guilty about, she cannot be in the cabin. If this is a new partner for David, the "Sarah Jenkins" profile needs to be decoupled to avoid reader confusion. 
*   **The Marcus Narration:**
    *   **The Error:** David narrates his frustration in "Marcus’s voice" (*“Diagnostic: System failure”*). There is no established link in the RAG context explaining how David knows Marcus or his specific verbal tics. 
    *   **The Correction:** Either establish David/Marcus’s prior relationship or remove the specific reference to Marcus’s voice. David can use the jargon as a remnant of his *own* corporate past, but citing Marcus specifically is a POV break.

**3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY**
*   **The Dually/Pump Confusion:** 
    *   **The Passage:** *“He climbed into the cab of the dually... The engine groaned... He checked the fuel line and found it: sand.”* then *“When the engine finally roared to life... David didn't cheer... He walked back toward the riverbank.”* 
    *   **The Problem:** It is unclear if David is fixing a truck to drive to a pump, or if the "dually" *is* the pump mechanism. 
    *   **The Fix:** Explicitly state if the truck is a "service vehicle" needed to power the gravity system or if the pump is a standalone diesel engine. As written, the transition between "cab of the dually" and "water begin to pulse through the lines" feels like a missing step.

**4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS**
*   **Leo’s Integration:** (Optional) The line *“He was integrate’ better than any of them”* is powerful. To push this further, show Leo interacting with a biological "system" (like a line of non-stinging ants or a specific plant) to contrast David’s war with the fire ants.
*   **The Technical "Hum":** (Optional) When David hears the mechanical hum at the end, specify if it feels "high-frequency" (Avery-Quinn tech) or "low-frequency" (industrial machinery) to better set the cliffhanger's threat level.

**5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS**
*   **Do NOT "clean up" the cardinal directions:** The constant orientation (North-by-Northwest) is a core part of the "Analog Regression" theme. It should remain repetitive and slightly jarring.
*   **Do NOT fix the "g" drops:** These are intentional character regressions showing David's descent into Arthur's world.
*   **Do NOT remove the corporate metaphors:** Phrases like "burn rate" and "systemic leak" used in a mud-caked setting are the DNA of the "Cypress Bend" voice.

**6. VERDICT: REVISE**
The chapter has a rock-solid emotional arc (Want: provide food; Obstacle: the land/ants/sand; Outcome: temporary survival at high "burn rate"). However, the **Continuity** error regarding Sarah's status (Deceased/Displaced vs. Present in Cabin) and David's unexplained knowledge of Marcus's internal narration requires immediate alignment with the Project Context before this can move to Line Editing.