### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Mira’s Voice Profile (Tactile & Interrupted):** The passage "Magic for me has always been a tactile language. I don't see equations; I feel textures" perfectly aligns with her non-negotiable profile. Her habit of interrupting her own thoughts ("Actually. No.") is used consistently to signal internal pivot points.
*   **Dorian’s Formal Understatement:** His "Formal Understatement Scale" is used with precision. Specifically: *"The... the logistical requirements of a dignified exit are... currently being processed,"*—the stuttered delivery combined with the archaic "logistical requirements" highlights his shattered composure while maintaining his signature syntax.
*   **Sensory Atmosphere:** The description of the thermal resonance (*"my heat bleeding into his chill, creating a localized pocket of humidity"*) effectively conveys the physical reality of their magic without needing excessive exposition.
*   **The "Baseline" Continuity:** While the prompt mentions Dorian’s "baseline" outburst in Ch-07 context, the line *"I didn't save the Chancellor. I saved... the only thing that makes me feel like I’m alive"* serves as a powerful, character-consistent payoff to that emotional arc.

**VOICE IDENTIFICATION:**
*   **Mira:** YES. (Identified by "Actually. No.", "Stars' sake", and tactile descriptions).
*   **Dorian:** YES. (Identified by "The evidence suggests", "It is probable", and the breakdown of complete sentences).

---

### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY

*   **The Bolt's Location:**
    *   *Error:* At the start of the scene in the Archive, Mira says, "I’m going to retrieve the bolt. Elara should have had the Wardens secure it by now." Immediately after, Dorian says, "I... I have it," and pulls it from his tunic. This contradicts the public nature of the assassination attempt where a "silver bolt [was] still humming... in the floorboards." It is physically impossible for Dorian to have retrieved it while being "vibrated" and supported by Mira during a "frantic" exit.
    *   *Correction:* Dorian should reveal he used a localized stasis or telekinetic pull to snag the bolt as they turned to leave, or Mira should have been the one to pluck it from the floor in her "protective defiance" before they fled the hall.
*   **Kaelen’s Visibility:**
    *   *Error:* Mira sees Kaelen through a maintenance hatch in a "secondary service tunnel." She then says, "I didn't look back. I couldn't risk Dorian seeing him, not yet." However, Dorian is leaning on her, "his arm around [her] waist," and they are walking through a "narrow passage." It is highly improbable Dorian—a man whose life depends on observation and "evidence"—would miss a face in a hatch three feet away in a quiet tunnel.
    *   *Correction:* Establish that Dorian was drifting in a "near-collapse" state with his eyes closed or head down, or specify that the hatch was behind a decorative tapestry/pillar that only Mira’s angle could penetrate.

---

### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY

*   **The "Seventh Era" Logic:**
    *   *Passage:* "But who has access to Imperial hawks and Seventh Era smithing?"
    *   *Problem:* This thread is dropped quickly. Since Dorian is the analyst, he should provide a brief "evidence suggests" regarding the contradiction: why would an Imperial hawk (Modern Ministry) carry a 7th Era (Ancient) weapon?
    *   *Fix:* Add one line from Dorian noting the "anachronistic pairing" suggests a third party infiltrating Ministry channels.
*   **The "Blood-Price" Stakes:**
    *   *Passage:* "A final, irreversible sync of the nervous systems... we will either be a singular, integrated entity... or we will incinerate the Academy."
    *   *Problem:* "Singular integrated entity" is vague. In a romance novel, it could be interpreted as a "soul bond" (positive). The threat needs to be clearer: does "integrated entity" mean losing their individual identities/wills to the Ministry's control?
    *   *Fix:* Clarify that "integrated entity" means becoming a "mindless battery" or "hollowed-out conduit" for the Ministry’s use.

---

### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Rhythmic Economy:**
    *   *Original:* "Inauspicious was a word for a spilled glass of wine or a poorly timed rainstorm, but Dorian said it as if he were cataloging the ruins of his own soul."
    *   *Suggested:* "Dorian said 'inauspicious' the way other men spoke of a death sentence."
    *   *Rationale:* The original is evocative but slightly flabby. A tighter opening hits the "Adult Romance" tension faster.
*   **Adverb Audit:**
    *   *Original:* "he said, a jagged, bitter laugh escaping his throat."
    *   *Suggested:* "he said, a jagged laugh tearing through his throat."
    *   *Rationale:* "Escaping" is passive; "tearing" matches the "shattered mask" imagery better.

---

### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not "fix" Mira's interruptions:** The phrases "Actually. No." and "We could—actually. No." are essential to her voice profile. They should not be smoothed into standard sentences.
*   **Do not remove Dorian's "The evidence suggests":** Even in a moment of high passion, this is his psychological tether. It must remain to show how hard he is fighting to stay "Chancellor."
*   **Do not soften the ending:** The "binary orbit" metaphor is a genre-appropriate "Adult Romance" beat and should stay.

---

### 6. VERDICT

**REVISE**
(The continuity error regarding the physical retrieval of the bolt and Dorian's improbable failure to see Kaelen in a narrow corridor requires a targeted polish before the chapter is finalized.)