This is Devon, Developmental Editor at Crimson Leaf Publishing. I have evaluated Chapter 14, "The Steam Phoenix," for structural integrity, emotional arc, and adherence to the *Starfall Accord* series parameters.

### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Conceptual Anchor:** The creation of the Steam Phoenix as a "microcosm of their own bond" is a brilliant physical manifestation of the Grey Era. It provides a visual "win" for the synthesis magic that the reader can track.
*   **The Power Dynamic:** The moment Dorian shifts from "containment" to "providing a lattice" mirrors his emotional arc perfectly. Quote: *"Instead of the sharp, aggressive triangles of a containment field, he began to weave a long, spiraling coil... a lattice that looked less like a cage and more like a perch."* This is a strong visual metaphor for his growth from rigidity to support.
*   **Voice Signatures:**
    *   **Mira:** YES. Her dialogue is punchy, reactionary, and dismissive of bureaucracy (*"Actually. No. That's not happening."*).
    *   **Dorian:** YES. His clinical, staccato delivery remains intact even under duress (*"The evidence suggests a total... systemic failure..."*). 
    *   **Voss:** YES. His voice is purely transactional and steeped in "Ministry" terminology.

### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY
*   **The Restored Hand:** The text mentions Dorian’s "right hand fully restored" (Character State) and then says in this chapter: *"Dorian... reached out his restored right hand."* However, it also says earlier in the chapter: *"He shifted his stance, his right hand moving in a slower, more deliberate arc."* 
    *   **Correction:** While the hand is physically restored, the *Character State* notes "high-frequency adrenaline tremors." The writing should acknowledge these tremors during the high-stress casting scene to maintain the physical toll established at the Gala.
*   **Voss’s Timeline:** The World State notes Voss "fled toward the Capital" after his humiliation. In this chapter, he is suddenly in the boiler room.
    *   **Correction:** Add a line indicating Voss was intercepted or turned back by the "catastrophic pressure" alarm before he could leave the grounds. Without it, his appearance feels like a teleportation convenience.

### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY
*   **The Transition Blur:** The jump from the boiler room to the High Spire peak is jarring. 
    *   **Reference:** *"The chase through the Academy was a blur... Mira and Dorian took the high-speed kinetic lifts..."*
    *   **Correction:** We need one beat of "active obstacle" during the chase. If Voss is chasing them, how do they beat him so significantly? Mention Mira using a fire-burst to seal a door or Dorian icing the floor behind them to ensure they reach the Sanctum first. This raises the stakes of the "race."

### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Sensual Subtext (Optional):** This is adult romance, and while the "somatic hum" is mentioned, the chapter is very heavy on the "fantasy" and light on the "sensual." 
    *   **Suggestion:** When Mira says *"Let me be the ground,"* and their magic touches, lean into the physical sensation of their bond. Does she feel the frost of his magic on her skin? Does he feel the heat of her core? A single paragraph focusing on the *physicality* of their magical union would satisfy the "sensual but tasteful" mandate.
*   **Kaelen/Aric Mention (Optional):** Since their deaths are the source of Mira/Dorian's current guilt/drive, a brief internal beat where Mira thinks "They shouldn't have died for just a ledger" while facing Voss would deepen the emotional resonance.

### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "fix" Dorian's ellipsis usage:** His hesitant, paused speech pattern (*"It is... extraordinary"*) is his signature clinical processing. It is not a punctuation error.
*   **Do not remove Mira's "Actually. No." tics:** These are her established verbal markers of defiance.
*   **Do not tone down the "Steam Phoenix" concept:** While technically a "mechanical" fix for a boiler leak, the magical whimsicality is necessary to show the "Grey Era" is more than just a political treaty.

### 6. VERDICT

**REVISE**

**Reasoning:** While the chapter is tonally excellent and hits a strong "Want/Obstacle/Outcome" structure (Want: save the anomaly; Obstacle: the pressure and Voss; Outcome: the bird is protected), the **Continuity** issues with Voss’s location and the lack of tension in the "chase" sequence create a logical gap. The "High-speed kinetic lifts" feel like a *deus ex machina* to get them to the office for the final confrontation. Fix the transition to ensure the "Starfall Union" feels like a lived-in space with logistical stakes.