### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Somatic Hook:** The physical stakes of the tether are masterfully executed. The "fifteen-foot threshold" and the description of the separation as a "meat hook" in the solar plexus provide a high-stakes, visceral constraint that anchors the romance in physical necessity.
*   **Voice Signature Consistency (Mira):** Mira’s dialogue patterns are spot-on. Her use of "obviously" to signal the opposite (*"The audit... obviously... can wait"*) and her mid-sentence self-corrections (*"We could — actually. No. Yes. We could."*) align perfectly with her profile.
*   **Voice Signature Consistency (Dorian):** Dorian’s "Formal Understatement Scale" is used effectively. His transition to *"this is suboptimal"* and his reliance on *"the evidence suggests"* maintain his icy, analytical exterior even under extreme duress.
*   **Tactile Prose:** Mira’s POV remains grounded in the tactile. The description of her "skin prickling with a cold-shock" and her "fingers clawing at the stone" reinforces her character profile.
*   **The Climax of the Scene:** The shared casting of the hearth is a structural win. It proves the "Binary Star" synergy while simultaneously raising the political stakes with Vaneck.

**Voice Signature Identification:**
*   **Mira:** YES. (Short, action-verb starts, "past and rot" curse, "obviously" sarcasm).
*   **Dorian:** YES. (Subject-verb-object precision, analytical framing).

### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY
*   **The Name Error:** The text refers to the male lead as "Dorian Solas" and then later as "Lord Solas" and "Dorian Thorne."
    *   *Error:* The Character State (ch-05) lists him as **Dorian Solas**, but the Voice Profile lists him as **Dorian Thorne**.
    *   *Correction:* Standardize the name to **Dorian Solas** throughout the chapter to match the RAG database/Character State.
*   **Somatic Threshold Inconsistency:** In the "Correction Clause" test, Vaneck notes the threshold is "Thirty feet," but earlier in the chapter, the "wall of pure, unadulterated suffering" hits at fifteen feet.
    *   *Error:* The internal logic of the pain threshold jumps from 15 to 30 feet without a clear explanation of why they can suddenly double the distance.
    *   *Correction:* Clarify that 15 feet is where the pain begins to interfere with function, and 30 feet is the extreme "breaking point" where cognitive death or permanent damage occurs. 

### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY
*   **The "White Room" Reveal:** The ending mentions: *"He knows about the White Room."*
    *   *Problem:* This name/concept has not been established in previous context or earlier in the chapter text as a specific named location. While the "white room" is described in the memory fragment during the walk, the capitalization suggests a proper noun or established lore the reader should recognize.
    *   *Fix:* Add a single line during the memory bleed segment (when Mira is on the floor) where she specifically labels the vision as "The White Room" so the ending beat lands with narrative weight rather than confusion.

### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Vaneck’s Influence:** (Optional) During the "walk to the Sanctum," emphasize the physical sensation of Vaneck’s "barrier" more through Mira’s tactile lens. If she touches things to understand them, have her describe the *lack* of heat or the specific *texture* of the air Vaneck displaces.
*   **Hearth Intensity:** (Optional) The eruption of the hearth fire is a major moment. Adding one sensory detail about the *smell* (ozone or scorched stone) would lean into Mira’s tactile/sensory-first processing.

### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do Not "Clean Up" Mira’s Dialogue:** Her run-on sentences and fractured thoughts during the separation test are intentional voice markers. Do not normalize them into standard prose.
*   **Do Not Soften Dorian:** His "suboptimal" comment at the height of their agony is a character-defining defense mechanism. It must remain as is, despite how "cold" it might seem to a reader.
*   **Do Not Remove the "Obviously" Tics:** These are the character's primary sarcasm tell and must be preserved.

### 6. VERDICT

**REVISE**

**Reasoning:** The chapter is structurally brilliant and nails the emotional arc of "forced codependency." However, the **name discrepancy** (Solas vs. Thorne) and the **numerical inconsistency** of the somatic threshold (15ft vs. 30ft) create minor but critical friction for the reader. Additionally, the "White Room" payoff requires a slight plant earlier in the scene to ensure the cliffhanger hits its target. Once these logic/continuity bridges are fixed, the chapter is a high-performing Pass.