Hello. I’m Lane. I’ve gone through Chapter 42 of *Cypress Bend* with an ear for the "swamp-tech" rhythm you’re building. You have a strong sense of place, but the prose occasionally leans on "heavy-lifting" adjectives where a sharper noun or an avoided cliché would serve the tension better.

Here is my line-level audit.

### 1. STRENGTHS
*   **Atmospheric Sensory Detail:** You excel at establishing the "lived-in" quality of the Bend. The copper screens turning sunset into a "fractured, metallic haze" is a highlight.
*   **The "Hiss-Thump" Rhythm:** The description of Miller’s prosthetic—"clunky, hissed-piston antique"—is excellent world-building through sound. It establishes the tech level immediately without a data dump.
*   **The Transition of Silence:** You move effectively from silence as a "protective shield" to silence as a "predatory threat."

### 2. CONCERNS & LINE EDITS

#### A. Dialogue "Tailing" and Adverbs
You have a tendency to explain the tone of a character's voice after they’ve already expressed it through their words. Let the dialogue do the work.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *"Walker stopped by the shack this morning," Miller said, his tone dropping into that specific, low frequency that meant gossip or trouble.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *"Walker stopped by the shack this morning." Miller’s voice dropped into a low frequency—the sound of trouble in the Bend.*
*   **RATIONALE:** "That specific... that meant" is wordy. Shorten the bridge between the dialogue and the implication.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *"We need a lot of things," Silas muttered.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *"We need a lot of things." Silas tightened a bolt on the housing until his knuckles paled.*
*   **RATIONALE:** "Muttered" is a weak tag. We can see his frustration through the action that follows.

#### B. Economy of Imagery (The "As If" Problem)
Some of your similes are a bit "stock" and slow down the pacing during high-tension moments.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *...the skeletal remains of the refinery poked through the treeline like the ribcage of a dead god.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *...the skeletal remains of the refinery poked through the treeline—a rusted ribcage stripped of its soul.*
*   **RATIONALE:** The "dead god" comparison is a bit overused in post-apocalyptic/future fiction. Try something more specific to the industrial decay of your world.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *Silas moved with a predator’s grace...*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *Silas moved with a lightness that belied his frame...* (or simply cut the descriptor).
*   **RATIONALE:** "Predator’s grace" is a cliché. Show us the grace through how he interacts with the mud or the vines instead of labeling it.

#### C. Tightening the Action Beats
In the combat sequence, the rhythm gets a bit "choppy" with too many "He [verb]ed" sentence structures.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *Silas stayed low, crawling into the thick ferns at the edge of the embankment. Usually, the swamp was a chorus of frogs and night-birds, but Miller had been right—the silence was absolute. Even the water seemed to have stopped moving.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *Silas crawled into the ferns. The usual chorus of frogs and night-birds had cut out; even the water seemed to hold its breath. Miller was right. The silence was absolute.*
*   **RATIONALE:** By breaking the "Usually..." sentence, you heighten the immediate danger. "Hold its breath" is more active than "stopped moving."

#### D. Word Choice Audit
Watch out for "stage directions" and "filler" adjectives.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *Silas felt a familiar, cold needle of anxiety prick at the base of his spine.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *A cold needle pricked the base of Silas’s spine.*
*   **RATIONALE:** "Familiar" and "of anxiety" are redundant. If a needle pricks your spine in a dark swamp, the reader knows it's anxiety.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *...a collection of sticks and dreams held together by stubbornness and hope.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *...a collection of sticks and salvaged iron held together by stubbornness.* 
*   **RATIONALE:** "Dreams" and "hope" feel a bit too poetic/abstract for Silas’s pragmatic character at this moment of high adrenaline. Keep him grounded in the "iron."

### 3. DIALOGUE AUDIT
The exchange with the soldier at the end is a bit "Bond-villain" informative.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *"The... the Director. He said... he said the asset was still live. He said you had the codes."*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *"The Director... he said the asset was live. That you still had the keys."*
*   **RATIONALE:** "Codes" is very standard. "Keys" or something specific to your world’s tech feels more "Lane-approved" and distinct.

***

### VERDICT

**POLISH NEEDED.**

The bones of the chapter are excellent. The atmosphere is thick enough to choke on, which is exactly what you want for a place called Cypress Bend. However, the prose needs a "de-cluttering" pass—strip away the adverbs and the "as if" similes to let the raw, humid tension of the setting speak for itself. You have a great voice; don't let adjectives muffle it.