As Lane, Line Editor at Crimson Leaf, I have audited Chapter 11. The rhythmic shift from the chaos of the previous chapters to this "mercury-grey" stasis is effective, but several technical voice infractions and logic hitches require a surgical strike before this is ready for the Grey Era.

### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Atmospheric Anchor:** The description of the light as "a soft, perpetual mercury-grey, the color of a dawn that didn’t need to prove itself" perfectly captures the resolution of the Starfall.
*   **Tactile Internalization:** Mira’s physical reaction to the resonance—"vibrated in her marrow like the purr of a sleeping predator"—aligns with her tactile-first voice profile.
*   **Dorian’s Understatement:** "The evidence suggests... that you are... currently or arguably staring at me." This is quintessential Dorian—using clinical distance to mask the vulnerability of being watched while waking.
*   **Voice Differentiation:** YES. Even without tags, Dorian’s "suboptimal" and Mira’s "Actually. No." spikes make the speakers unmistakable.

### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY
*   **The Aric Paradox:** In the Chapter 4 summary, Aric (the student) is or was categorized as a "Metadata error - Aric is currently living." However, the prose in this chapter treats his death as the emotional climax. 
    *   *Error:* "And Aric... he threw himself in front of a void-bolt so I could finish the sigil."
    *   *Correction:* If Aric is alive according to the Character State, this dialogue must be stripped or redirected to a different fallen student (e.g., Kaelen's sacrifice only). If he is dead, the Character State "Arc: 90% / Location: Sanctum" must be updated to DECEASED. *Note: For this edit, I am assuming the prose is correct and the Meta-State is lagging.*
*   **The Distance Clause:** 
    *   *Error:* "The fifteen-foot limit was gone, but they were sitting within inches of each other..."
    *   *Correction:* In Chapter 2/3, the tether was established as a physical necessity for proximity. Since the "Paradox signature" is now integrated, the wording should reflect that the *compulsion* is gone, but the *resonance* is permanent. The current phrasing feels like a continuity check rather than a narrative beat.

### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY
*   **The Elara "First Warden" Logic:**
    *   *Passage:* "I will be the First Warden of Fire... If I am to lead the Pyre students, I must respect the heat."
    *   *Problem:* While the "Paradox" theme supports cross-training, a medic/ice mage leading the Fire mages without any transitional training feels like an administrative disaster waiting to happen.
    *   *Fix:* Add one line from Dorian acknowledging the "logistical friction" or Mira noting it will require "somatic oversight" to bridge the gap.

### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS (LINE LEVEL)
*   **Mira’s Breath:**
    *   ORIGINAL: "Actually. No. I was assessing the structural integrity of your face. It looked suboptimal."
    *   SUGGESTED: "Actually. No. I was assessing the structural integrity of your face. It looked—stars' sake, Dorian, you look half-dead."
    *   RATIONALE: Integrating her "mild irritation" curse scale (stars' sake) makes the transition from sarcasm to genuine concern feel more "Mira."
*   **Dorian’s Hand:**
    *   ORIGINAL: "His right hand—the one that had been locked in marble-black frost only days ago—was resting palm-up between them."
    *   SUGGESTED: "His right hand—the one the Spire’s protocols had failed to salvage—rested palm-up between them."
    *   RATIONALE: Increases the economy of the sentence and reinforces the "Spire failed alone" theme.

### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **The "Actually. No." Fragment:** Do not "smooth" Mira’s tendency to interrupt herself. It is her primary emotional tell.
*   **Dorian's Syntax:** Do not remove "the evidence suggests" or make him sound warmer. His "warmth" is expressed through his syntax holding steady while his world shifts, not through becoming a different person.
*   **The Semantic Bleed:** Keep the descriptions of feeling "sleep with subheadings." This is a successful merging of their two distinct POVs.

### 6. VERDICT

**REVISE**

The chapter is emotionally resonant and hits the "Accord" beats beautifully, but the **Aric Continuity Error** (Living in State vs. Dead in Prose) is a "Critical" flag that must be resolved to ensure the series' internal logic holds. Once the student's status is confirmed, this is a Pass.