### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Shared Nervous System:** The evolution of the tether from a "leash" to a "shared nervous system" is a vital structural escalation. The line, *"She could feel the static behind his eyes—the way his mind was already thirty moves ahead,"* perfectly encapsulates the intimacy of their forced proximity.
*   **Tactile Magic:** Mira’s characterization through touch remains consistent. Her discovery of the cause of death—*"She didn't look for the physical cause of death; she hunted for the resonance"*—aligns with her persona of understanding the world through physical sensation.
*   **The Betrayal Beat:** The revelation that Dorian knew about the permanence of the tether is a powerhouse emotional pivot. It justifies the "Rivals" part of the arc just as they were getting too comfortable.
*   **Voice Signature Check:**
    *   **Mira:** **YES.** Use of "Stars' sake" and "past and rot" are correctly tiered. Her sarcasm ("Obviously") is present. Her dialogue becomes fragmented and run-on during the confrontation: *"If we had told me, if we had worked together from the start—"*
    *   **Dorian:** **YES.** His use of "suboptimal" and the transition to the Formal Understatement Scale—*"the circumstances are not auspicious"—*is textbook. His grammatically complete sentences only break at the very end when Mira's fire forces a "cracked armor" moment.

### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY
*   **Character Fatality Conflict:** The chapter opens with Mira mourning **Kaelen**, stating he is "a cooling mass of flesh" in the morgue. However, the [character-state] for Ch-08 explicitly lists Kaelen as **"Location: Pyre Academy... Physical: Uninjured... Emotional: Terrified."** 
    *   *Correction:* In the [character-state], Kaelen is meant to be the military leader of the resistance. If he is killed here, the entire "Binary Star" deployment and student vanguard subplot from the context notes is invalidated. 
    *   *Fix:* Replace the deceased character with a high-ranking but non-essential NPC (e.g., Proctor Vane's predecessor or a nameless Head Archivist) to maintain Kaelen’s role as the leader of the student rebellion.
*   **The Location Discrepancy:** The [character-state] places Mira and Dorian at the **Imperial High Court / Grand Balcony** in the Capital City for Ch-08, having already been declared "rogue agents." This chapter text places them inside the **Academy Archives**.
    *   *Correction:* The text and the character state are out of sync. 
    *   *Fix:* Adjust the opening to reflect that they have returned to the Academy *after* the High Court exile to retrieve evidence, or update the Character State to show they are back at the Spire/Pyre under siege.

### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY
*   **The "Ninety Seconds" Clock:** Dorian establishes a 90-second window before the Ministry is alerted. However, the scene then slows down significantly for a long dialogue about the Emperor being a parasite and Dorian's confession.
    *   *Reference:* "Ninety seconds," Dorian said... [followed by ~400 words of dialogue and reading].
    *   *Fix:* Add a sensory cue (a pulsing light or a countdown chime) to remind the reader of the ticking clock, or have the Ministry guards actually breach the room to force their exit, heightening the tension of the betrayal.

### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **The Sensory Graft:** (Optional) To lean into the "Adult Romance" tier, when Mira realizes the tether is a "broadcasting station" for their feelings, add a brief beat where she realizes the Emperor felt her growing attraction to Dorian. This raises the stakes for their "private" moments.
*   **Dorian’s "Calculation":** (Optional) Enhance Dorian’s justification. He mentions "saving his people," but adding a specific mention of a "Northern Rift" that he closed using the first hour of the tether would make his "logic" harder for Mira (and the reader) to dismiss as simple villainy.

### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "soften" Dorian's betrayal.** His clinical approach to "the sovereignty of our souls versus the survival of millions" is his core architectural trait. Do not make him apologize.
*   **Do not fix Mira's fragmented sentences.** When she says, *"We have to get this out. We have to show the faculty,"* the repetitive, punchy nature is her "action-oriented" voice under stress. Lead-in "I think" or "Perhaps" should not be added.
*   **Keep the "Past and Rot" metaphor.** It is a specific world-building scent tied to the Emperor; do not replace it with more conventional "evil" descriptions.

### 6. VERDICT: REVISE
**Reasoning:** The internal continuity error regarding **Kaelen’s death** is a "showstopper." According to the project’s RAG data, Kaelen is a primary actor for the student resistance in the final chapters. Killing him here creates a massive plot hole for the "Union" arc. Additionally, the location conflict with the Character State (High Court vs. Academy Archives) needs to be reconciled to ensure the "Rogue State" status is properly reflected in the environment.