**1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE**
*   **Mira’s Tactile Magic:** The description of her investigative process is visceral and aligned with her profile. "She didn't look for the physical cause of death; she hunted for the resonance... It tasted of ozone and burnt sugar."
*   **Dorian’s Formal Understatement:** His reaction to a high-profile murder is perfectly in character. "Classifying a high-ranking Academy official’s death as a mere administrative oversight is... suboptimal."
*   **The Tether’s Evolution:** The shift from a "leash" to a "shared nervous system" provides an excellent mechanical foundation for the intimacy of the breach scene. 
*   **The Reveal:** The pacing of the discovery—moving from the "listening post" realization to the "permanent" clause—builds tension effectively before the final character betrayal.

**VOICE SIGNATURE CHECK:**
*   **Mira:** **YES**. She uses "Stars' sake" and "past and rot" correctly. Her dialogue is action-oriented and she engages with the world through touch.
*   **Dorian:** **YES**. He uses "suboptimal," "it is probable," and "the evidence suggests." His composure breaks into shorter sentences only at the very end during the confrontation.

**2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY**
*   **The Victim's Name:** The chapter text identifies the deceased as "Kaelen," Mira’s senior proctor. However, the [character-state] RAG database for Ch-08 lists Kaelen as "Uninjured" and "mobilizing the student vanguard" at Pyre Academy. 
    *   **CORRECTION:** If Kaelen is meant to be the resistance leader, the corpse in the morgue must be a different named NPC (e.g., "Proctor Vane" or a new secondary character). If Kaelen is indeed dead, the RAG state must be updated to "DECEASED" and his arc terminated.
*   **Dorian's Knowledge:** The RAG "Known secrets" for Dorian states: "Realized the 'Founders' Binding' was designed to kill the Chancellors once the Starfall was stabilized." In this text, he claims he knew it was a permanent "life-sentence" and a "sensory graft."
    *   **CORRECTION:** Ensure the dialogue aligns with the specific threat. Is it a life-sentence of being a puppet (as stated in text) or a death sentence (as stated in RAG)? The text is more dramatic for romance; I suggest updating the RAG to match the "permanent puppet" stakes.

**3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY**
*   **The Physical Contact during the Breach:** "Dorian’s absolute zero core start to boil. He gasped, his grip on her hand tightening until her bones groaned."
    *   ORIGINAL: "Dorian’s absolute zero core start to boil." 
    *   SUGGESTED: "Dorian’s absolute zero core started to boil." 
    *   RATIONALE: Small tense consistency error.
*   **The "Past and Rot" scent:** Mira identifies the scent of "past and rot" on the Imperial Seal in this chapter, but the RAG notes she knows the Emperor is feeding the Starfall into the ley-lines to sustain his life. 
    *   **CLARITY FIX:** The text should more clearly link the "past and rot" scent to the Emperor's physical decay mentioned in the "Known Secrets" section to reward the reader's intuition.

**4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS**
*   **Rhythm in the Breach:** The transition from "I hold the circuit" (internal) back to physical dialogue is a bit abrupt.
    *   ORIGINAL: "`Focus, Dorian,` she hissed aloud. He didn't answer. He couldn't."
    *   SUGGESTED: "`Focus, Dorian,` she hissed, the words feeling clumsy compared to the lightning-fast data of the tether. He didn't answer. He couldn't."
    *   RATIONALE: Reinforces the idea that the tether is becoming their preferred/more efficient mode of communication.
*   **Dorian’s "Ghost of a smile":** 
    *   ORIGINAL: "...the corner of his mouth twitching in a ghost of a smile that didn't reach his glacial eyes."
    *   SUGGESTED: "...the corner of his mouth twitching. It was a fragment of a smile, logically misplaced but entirely human."
    *   RATIONALE: "Ghost of a smile" is a bit of a romance cliché; describing it as "logically misplaced" fits Dorian’s voice better.

**5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS**
*   **Do not "smooth out" Mira’s aggressive interruptions.** (e.g., "I don't care what they sealed!") This is her signature volatility.
*   **Do not remove Dorian’s use of "Suboptimal."** It is his primary emotional tell.
*   **Do not change the repetition of the final lines.** The echo of "I knew. I signed it anyway" is an intentional rhythmic choice to emphasize the weight of the betrayal.

**6. VERDICT**
**REVISE.** 
The conflict between the chapter text (Kaelen is dead) and the RAG state (Kaelen is alive and leading a vanguard) is a major continuity blocker that must be resolved before this can pass. Once the identity of the victim is reconciled, the prose is strong and ready for polish.