**1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE**
*   **Tactile Magic System:** Mira’s grounding through touch is excellently executed. "Mira didn't use her eyes. She used his. She saw the flow of the mana-lines... the jagged points where the Spire's logic met the Ministry's corruption." This reinforces her character profile as a tactile learner.
*   **Dorian’s Understatement Scale:** The use of "suboptimal" to describe an assassination is perfect. "Classifying a high-ranking Academy official’s death as a mere administrative oversight is... suboptimal." It hits the voice signature precisely.
*   **The Tether’s Evolution:** The shift from a literal leash to a "shared nervous system" provides the necessary escalation for the romantic arc. The description of it as a "broadcasting station" for the Emperor adds a high-stakes "Big Brother" element to their intimacy.
*   **Voice Signature Check:** 
    *   **Mira:** YES. Use of "stars' sake" and "past and rot" are present. Her interruption "We have to—actually. No. Yes." is missing, but her tactile nature carries the scene.
    *   **Dorian:** YES. His formal understatement is the anchor of his dialogue. 

**2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY**
*   **Character Death Conflict:** In the Chapter 8 Character State [RAG], Kaelen is listed as "UNINJURED" and "Terrified and ready for war; mobilizing the student vanguard." In this draft, Kaelen is a "cooling mass of flesh" in a morgue. 
    *   *Correction:* If Kaelen is to be a primary military leader in the resistance (as per the RAG state), he cannot be the victim in the morgue. Change the victim to a different high-ranking proctor or senior student to preserve Kaelen’s role in the "student vanguard" and the "Binary Star" deployment mentioned in the open loops.
*   **Location Inconsistency:** The RAG state places the Chancellors at the "Imperial High Court, Grand Balcony" in the Capital City, having already been declared "rogue agents." This chapter places them back at the "Starfall Union" (the merged schools) sneaking into a Ministry wing.
    *   *Correction:* The prose needs to reflect that they are already outcasts. The "breaking into the archives" should be framed as a covert return to their own occupied school, or the RAG state needs to be updated to reflect that the "High Court" confrontation happens *after* this archive heist.

**3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY**
*   **The Ending Loop:** The chapter ends with a repetitive paragraph: "I knew," Dorian said... "I signed it anyway." It repeats the exact same phrasing and observation about the tether twice in the final six lines.
    *   *Fix:* Delete the final paragraph starting with "I knew," Dorian said. End the chapter on: "I couldn't risk the realm on your temperament." / "So you lied." / "I signed it anyway," he said... "I accepted the graft knowing it would be my life-sentence, because it was the only way to save my people. And yours." This allows the weight of the betrayal to land without redundant summary.

**4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS**
*   **Mira’s Sarcasm (Optional):** mira’s voice profile mentions she says "obviously" when she means the opposite. Adding a line like "The Ministry mages were *obviously* too busy to notice a murder in their own wing," would sharpen her established voice.
*   **Sensual Tension (Optional):** In the archive, when Dorian grounds Mira’s magic, the physical proximity is a "cold anchor." Given the "Adult Romance" goal, emphasizing the involuntary physical reaction to his touch—despite her fury—would strengthen the "monstrous affection" mentioned at the end.

**5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS**
*   **Do not "smooth out" Mira’s anger.** Her "wild, kinetic heat" and "vibration of gravel" are core to her fire-mage identity. 
*   **Do not make Dorian apologize.** His character profile states he never improvises except for her and uses logic as a shield. His refusal to back down from the "logic" of his betrayal is structurally necessary for the slow-burn conflict.
*   **Do not remove the "past and rot" olfactory descriptions.** This is a non-negotiable world-building element linked to the Emperor.

**6. VERDICT: REVISE**
The chapter kills a character (Kaelen) who is marked as a living, active military lead in the project's tracking database. Further, the location of the characters contradicts the "Character State" RAG which places them in exile at the High Court. These continuity errors must be reconciled before the emotional climax of Dorian’s betrayal can be finalized.