**1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE**

*   **Tactile Magic System:** The physical sensation of the magic is excellent. The "localized pulse of heat" at Mira’s nail to bubble the wax and Dorian’s "air three feet in front of him crystallized into tiny, floating needles" establish the elemental contrast immediately.
*   **The Sensory Bleed:** The internal transition from the external light show to the internal "crushing, heavy silence" of Dorian’s mind is the chapter’s strongest emotional beat. It effectively establishes the high stakes of the "soul-tether."
*   **Voice Accuracy (Mira):** Mira’s voice hits the specific markers requested. The use of "obviously" as a sarcasm tell—*"Dorian never misses an chance to follow a rule... obviously"*—and the curse scale usage of "stars' sake" and "burning memory" are consistent.
*   **Voice Accuracy (Dorian):** Dorian’s "Formal Understatement Scale" is perfectly introduced with *"The situation is suboptimal, certainly"* and *"the circumstances are not auspicious."*
*   **Voice Signature Check:**
    *   **Mira:** YES. Her dialogue is action-oriented and tactile.
    *   **Dorian:** YES. His grammatical precision makes him instantly recognizable.

**2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY**

*   **The Name Discrepancy:** In the Project Context/Character State, the male lead is listed as **Dorian Solas**. In the Voice Profile section of the prompt, he is listed as **Dorian Thorne**. In the chapter text, he is introduced as **Dorian Solas**, but the voice profile instructions were "non-negotiable, enforced in every scene."
    *   **Correction:** Standardize to **Dorian Solas** to match the character state and the narrative text, but ensure the "Thorne" alias isn't a plot point later. If not, treat "Thorne" in the prompt as a typo and stick to Solas.
*   **The Distance Violation:** The text states the "statutory limit for elemental safety" is ten feet. Dorian stops ten feet away. However, Mira later steps forward "until the safety margin was a memory," and then they kneel to sign the Accord. The text implies they are touching or near-touching before the blood-bond, but the "violent rejection" of their auras should likely have more immediate physical consequences if they are within that 10-foot dead zone before the tether stabilizes them.
    *   **Correction:** Explicitly mention the physical strain/pain of breaking that 10-foot barrier *before* they touch the parchment to emphasize why they usually stay apart.

**3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY**

*   **The "Past and Rot" Smell:** Mira identifies the Emperor's magic as smelling of "past and rot" (Line 6). Later (Line 38), she thinks Dorian looks at her like he's "smelling past and rot." Since "past and rot" is her highest-tier curse for fury, the reader might be confused if she thinks Dorian smells that on *her* or if she's just projecting her hatred.
    *   **Concrete Fix:** Clarify that "past and rot" is Mira’s internal descriptor for the ultimate corruption. If Dorian is looking at her with distaste, use a different sensory descriptor or clarify: *"looking like he’s smelling something even worse than the Emperor’s past and rot."*

**4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS**

*   **Kaelen’s Reaction:** (Optional) In the character state, Kaelen is noted as having "singed robes from Mira’s aura." In the text, he just stands in the doorway while she leaves "smoking floral patterns" on the floor. Adding a quick beat where he has to physically recoil from a flare of her heat would reinforce her "physically demonstrative" nature.
*   **The Tether Visual:** (Optional) The Character State mentions a "violet-white fire" in Mira's hearth. It would be a nice tie-in if the tether light contained streaks of that same violet-white to show her specific magic being pulled into the bond.

**5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS**

*   **Do not "smooth out" Mira’s dialogue.** Her tendency to use "obviously" sarcastically and her run-on sentences when arguing (e.g., the paragraph starting with "Don't give me the lecture...") are intentional character traits.
*   **Do not make Dorian less formal.** His robotic "evidence suggests" and "suboptimal" phrasing is his defense mechanism. Even when the world is ending, he must remain grammatically perfect until the very last sentence.
*   **Do not change the smell of the Emperor's magic.** The "burnt sugar and ozone"/ "past and rot" is a specific plot-relevant "known secret" for Mira.

**6. VERDICT**

**REVISE**

**Reasoning:** While the voice and emotional arc are excellent, the **Dorian Solas vs. Dorian Thorne** name inconsistency must be resolved for series continuity. Additionally, the physical stakes of the "Safety Margin" (the 10-foot rule) need to be more clearly felt when Mira breaches it, as this is a foundational world-building rule that sets up their "forced proximity" conflict. Once the names are aligned and the physical tension of the pre-tether proximity is sharpened, the chapter is ready for Lane (Line Editing).