### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Gravity was no longer a constant; it was a suggestion whispered by a dying god."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the high-stakes, reality-warping atmosphere of the Loom Floor using the "winding metaphor" style noted in Liora’s profile.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "For a second, the stone floor turned into a sea of severed fingers, all pointing at her."
    *   *Commentary:* This visceral image ground the "indigo contagion" in concrete horror, making the internal hallucinations a physical threat.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "Liora’s boots left the floor for a heartbeat before slamming back down as the Locked Spiral stabilized into a tense, vibrating stasis."
    *   *Commentary:* The prose successfully communicates the mechanical and physical stabilizing of the Dirty Circuit through tactile action.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The Loom was a throat, and the threads were its breath. And the Thirteenth Strand was a name."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage bridges the technical aspects of the Loom with the mystical "Loom’s intent" arc established in the project context.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** "“Bind or break,” Liora hissed..."
*   **Signature vocab/tics:** **YES.** Whispers "bind or break" before decisive action.
*   **Avoids forbidden speech:** **YES.** She remains fatalistic and avoids saying "it'll all work out."
*   **Register consistency:** **YES.** Her internal monologue ("*Bind-bind-bind it now*") matches her "panicked" imperfection signature when facing frayback.

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** "I'm not going anywhere... I can hear it. The Loom isn't just failing. It’s trying to say something."
*   **Signature vocab/tics:** **YES.** His "predatory focus" and "symbiotic defiance" come through in his willingness to buffer the Terminus.
*   **Avoids forbidden speech:** **N/A** (No specific forbidden phrases in profile).
*   **Register consistency:** **YES.** He is 25% through an arc becoming an "essential, sentient anchor," which is reflected in his calm during the surge.

**Elder Maros**
*   **Quote:** "Voss! The output is spiking! The Purists are already calling for a purge."
*   **Signature vocab/tics:** **YES.** He is leaning on his "bone-white cane," a key physical trait.
*   **Avoids forbidden speech:** **N/A**.
*   **Register consistency:** **YES.** He appears "politically desperate," matching his ch-03 context.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Liora’s Tactile Interaction:** Her constant physical engagement with threads, such as: "fingers, stained a deep, bruised indigo to the bicep, traced the air with frantic precision" and "snapping an invisible thread in the air." These align perfectly with her "REACH FOR" tactile profile.
*   **Thorne as a Conduit:** The mechanical nature of their bond—"He was acting as a biological surge protector"—is a unique and strong implementation of the "Dirty Circuit" concept.
*   **Environmental Storytelling:** The description of the Indigo Contagion affecting the Junior Binders ("muffled prayers sounding like the wet tearing of silk") reinforces the world-state where the Conclave is in "Evangelical Terror."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "'I see it, Thorne,' she managed, her words clipped."
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the character-state (ch-03) and voice signature, Liora does not talk to Thorne like a partner yet; she is an "intentional architect" and he a "sacrificial prisoner" who is only now becoming an anchor. More importantly, her voice signature states she avoids eye contact during emotional confessions; here, they are linked via soul-stuff, but the dialogue feels slightly too cooperative for her "defiant fatalism."
*   **FIX:** Maintain the clipped nature but emphasize her clinical/tactical use of him. "I see it. Hold the anchor, Quill. If your thread snaps, the feedback will liquefy us both."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Thirteenth Strand whispered a name neither recognized—*Voss?*—"
*   **PROBLEM:** In the "Known Secrets" for Liora, it is established that she witnessed her parents' souls unbound (Rennar and her parents share the name Voss). If the Strand whispers "Voss," she *would* recognize it, even if Thorne doesn't.
*   **FIX:** "The Thirteenth Strand whispered a name Thorne didn’t know, but that turned Liora’s blood to ice—*Voss?*"

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The obsidian aperture in her left palm thrummed like a heart unbound..."
*   **PROBLEM:** While evocative, first-time readers (or those at ch-03) need a clearer tie to the "Dirty Circuit" mechanics mentioned in the context. The "aperture" is a physical trait from her character state, but its function in the "Dirty Circuit" is slightly muddy here.
*   **FIX:** "The obsidian aperture in her left palm—the jagged intake for the Dirty Circuit—thrummed like a heart unbound..."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** (Optional) Enhance the physical habit of braid-touching.
*   **Quote:** "Liora didn't answer. She couldn't. She stared at her palm..."
*   **Improvement:** Per the profile, she unconsciously braids her hair when in thought or deception. Adding a small touch here as she lies to Maros about the "minor snag" would reinforce her character traits.
*   **Revised Quote:** "Liora didn't answer. She stared at her palm, her other hand reaching up to mindlessly twist a stray lock of hair into a tight, three-point weave."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Verbal Tics:** Do NOT remove "bind or break" or "bind-bind-bind." These are core to her panicked state and ritual focus.
*   **Fatalistic Dialogue:** Do NOT make Liora sound more optimistic. Her dry lie to Maros ("A minor snag") is a signature characteristic and should remain.
*   **Weaving Metaphors:** The "winding metaphors" during reflection (e.g., "safety is a frayed hem") are intended as part of her voice signature.

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### 8. VERDICT

**VERDICT: REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The chapter captures the atmosphere and character voices excellently, but there is a significant continuity error regarding the "Voss" name revelation (Liora would certainly recognize her own name/family name) and a minor clarity issue regarding the palm aperture's role in the Dirty Circuit.