### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The light in the chamber didn't just dim—it curved, warping toward the spindle as if the air itself were being sucked into an invisible needle’s eye."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively utilizes the project's weaving motif to ground high-concept magical physics in tactile, occupational imagery.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "For a second, the stone floor turned into a sea of severed fingers, all pointing at her."
    *   *Commentary:* This visceral image heightens the "Indigo Contagion" world-state, providing a concrete visual for the abstract "shared hallucinations" mentioned in the RAG.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The frayback hit her like a physical blow. Her soul felt like it was being pulled through a wire-draw plate."
    *   *Commentary:* This successfully illustrates the "frayback" limitation defined in the character sheet by using an industrial weaving metaphor to describe internal pain.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "She saw it for a fraction of a second: not a machine, but a mouth. The Loom was a throat, and the threads were its breath. And the Thirteenth Strand was a name."
    *   *Commentary:* This transition from mechanical to biological personification perfectly mirrors Thorne’s arc of the Loom gaining consciousness.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** "Safety is a frayed hem, Maros. You want stability? Then sanction the Dirty Circuit."
*   **Signature Vocab/Tics:** **YES.** Uses weaving imagery ("frayed hem") and her specific whisper ("bind or break").
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** **YES.** She remains fatalistic and avoids saying "It'll all work out."
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Displays the "cold, tactical clarity" and "defiant fatalism" noted in her ch-03 character state.

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** "I'm not going anywhere. I can hear it. The Loom isn't just failing. It’s trying to say something."
*   **Signature Vocab/Tics:** **YES.** Phrases like "dark, hungry confidence" align with his "predatory focus" and "symbiotic defiance."
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** **N/A** (No explicit forbidden phrases in RAG, but remains ink-focused).
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** He is evolving into the "sentient anchor" for the machine as required by his arc.

**Elder Maros**
*   **Quote:** "Voss! The output is spiking! The Purists are already calling for a purge."
*   **Signature Vocab/Tics:** **YES.** His reliance on his "bone-white cane" is present.
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** **YES.**
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** He is "fearful and compromised," exactly as described in the ch-03 context.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Tactile Magic Vocabulary:** The use of "frayback," "spindle," "Locked Spiral," and "wire-draw plate" gives the Threadbinding a unique, consistent texture. Reference: "The Loom Floor's Locked Spiral groaning beneath her boots."
*   **The "Dirty Circuit" Mechanics:** The chapter maintains the high-stakes cost of the stabilize-loop. Reference: "requires continuous soul-input from Liora and Thorne to prevent Loom collapse."
*   **Liora’s Fatalism:** Her refusal to use hopeful language preserves her specific character wound. Reference: "Liora didn't answer. She couldn't... Her voice devoid of any hope."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Liora’s boots left the floor for a heartbeat before slamming back down as the Locked Spiral stabilized..."
*   **PROBLEM:** This contradicts the [character-state] which notes Liora has "tremors" and "ocular hemorrhaging," and the [world-state] "Indigo Contagion" involving "gravity shifts." However, if she is floating, she is no longer "clinging to the core drive-spindle" as stated in the opening. Physical positioning becomes muddy.
*   **FIX:** "Liora’s boots drifted from the plates as gravity buckled, her white-knuckled grip on the spindle the only thing keeping her from the ceiling, before the Spiral slammed her back down."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Thirteenth Strand whispered a name neither recognized—*Voss?*—coiling tighter around the core spindle..."
*   **PROBLEM:** The RAG "Known secrets" for Liora states: "Witnessed parents' souls unbound -- Rennar Voss does not know the full ritual cause." If the Strand whispers "Voss," it is highly improbable Liora wouldn't "recognize" her own family name, even if the frequency is "ancient."
*   **FIX:** "The Thirteenth Strand whispered a name that shouldn't have been there—*Voss*—a family ghost coiling around the spindle like a noose."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Lean harder into the specific "lanolin and indigo" scent mentioned in the character sheet during the hallucination sequence.
*   **Quote:** "It felt ancient, smelling of old lanolin and sun-bleached bone."
*   **Benefit:** Reinforces the specific sensory profile assigned to Liora’s magic.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **The phrase "Bind-bind-bind it now":** Do not "clean up" this repetition; it is Liora’s specific imperfection signature during panic.
*   **The term "Dirty Circuit":** This is a project-specific technical term; do not replace it with more traditional fantasy terminology.
*   **Liora's lack of humor:** Even when speaking to Maros, she should remain "clipped" and "tactical." The current dialogue ("Safety is a frayed hem") is perfect.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the voice and atmosphere of the project perfectly, but the ending creates a logic gap where Liora "does not recognize" her own last name (Voss) being whispered, despite her backstory being centered on her parents' deaths. This requires a slight adjustment to her internal reaction.