### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Gravity was no longer a constant; it was a suggestion whispered by a dying god."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the high-stakes, reality-warping atmosphere of the Loom Floor using the "Terminus Frequency" world-building element.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "For a second, the stone floor turned into a sea of severed fingers, all pointing at her."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides a visceral, unsettling image of the "indigo contagion" hallucinations that reinforces the character's internal psychological strain.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "Liora looked up, her bleeding eyes fixing on the silhouette behind the reinforced glass. 'Safety is a frayed hem, Maros.'"
    *   *Commentary:* The dialogue perfectly mirrors the "weaving imagery" requirement of the voice signature while grounding the metaphor in her physical state (ocular hemorrhaging).
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The anomaly wasn't a break. It was a memory. Or a ghost. It felt ancient, smelling of old lanolin and sun-bleached bone."
    *   *Commentary:* This uses sensory details (lanolin) established in the character profile to link the magic system to the protagonist’s specific history and tradescraft.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   "’Bind or break,’ Liora hissed..."
    *   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Uses "bind or break" whispered under breath).
    *   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** YES (Does not say "Fate will decide").
    *   **Emotional Register:** YES (Clipping commands, fatalistic).
*   "’A minor snag, Elder,’ she lied..."
    *   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Uses "A minor snag" for the appropriate stress scale—ironically downplaying a major event).

**Thorne Quill**
*   "’I'm not going anywhere,’ Thorne’s voice echoed back, laced with a dark, hungry confidence."
    *   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Reflects "predatory focus").
    *   **Emotional Register:** YES (Symbiotic defiance; 25% arc position as an "essential sentient anchor").

**Elder Maros**
*   "’Voss! The output is spiking! ... Stabilize the spindle or I cannot guarantee your... safety.’"
    *   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Fearful and compromised; uses "bone-white cane").
    *   **Emotional Register:** YES (Politically desperate, trying to maintain authority).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Tactile Magic Interaction:** The physical toll of the magic is consistent with the profile. Reference: "indigo staining reaching mid-bicep" and "obsidian aperture in her left palm thrummed."
*   **Liora’s Fatalism:** Her refusal to offer comfort or optimism must be maintained. Reference: "Safety is a frayed hem, Maros... watch the weave, Elder, or it'll unravel us both."
*   **Thorne’s Evolution:** The shift in power dynamics where he becomes an "anchor" rather than a "prisoner" is well-executed. Reference: "He was acting as a biological surge protector."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Liora felt a violent tremor seize her right leg."
*   **PROBLEM:** The Character State [ch-03] specifies "Physical: ... tremors," but the Voice Signature [Physical habit] states she "never slouches or appears physically disheveled." While a tremor is involuntary, the narrative description of her "slumping against the spindle" later in the chapter conflicts with the "never slouches" signature.
*   **FIX:** "Liora felt a violent tremor seize her right leg. She locked her knee, forcing her spine into a rigid line against the spindle even as the marrow screamed." (This maintains the "never slouches" trait while allowing for the tremor).

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Thirteenth Strand... whispered a name neither recognized—*Voss?*—coiling tighter..."
*   **PROBLEM:** The prompt notes Liora witnessed her parents' souls unbound, and the Character State mentions "Rennar Voss" as her brother. If the strand whispers her own name, saying they "neither recognized" it is confusing—she would recognize her own name, even if the *source* is unknown.
*   **FIX:** "...the Thirteenth Strand whispered her own name in a voice she hadn’t heard since the ritual failure—*Voss?*—coiling tighter..."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Enhancing the "Fidget":** (Optional) Mention her snapping the invisible thread earlier during the Maros confrontation to emphasize her impatience with his stalling.
    *   **Relevant Quote:** "Liora’s resentment... felt cold and sharp."
*   **Hallucination Variety:** (Optional) The "sea of fingers" is strong, but adding a brief flash of "unbound souls" would tie the "indigo contagion" more directly to her specific trauma/wound.
    *   **Relevant Quote:** "For a second, the stone floor turned into a sea of severed fingers..."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **DO NOT** change the repetition of "bind-bind-bind." This is an intentional "imperfection signature" for when the character is panicked.
*   **DO NOT** soften Liora’s dialogue with Maros; her fatalistic, dry humor is a core trait.
*   **DO NOT** remove the sensory mention of lanolin; it is her character-specific scent.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 88**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the voice signatures and world-state perfectly, but contains a minor continuity error regarding Liora's physical bearing (slouching vs. signature rigidity) and a clarity issue regarding the recognition of the name "Voss."