### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Liora’s boots scraped against the corroding rungs of the maintenance ladder, each descent syncing with the frayback tremors ripping through her frayed palm..."
    *   **Commentary:** This effectively integrates the "frayback" world-building mechanic into the physical action, though the repetition of "frayed" shortly after "frayback" is slightly clunky.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "Liora’s left hand spasmed, the violet shards biting deeper into her muscle. She squeezed the rung of the ladder until the rusted metal bit into her skin."
    *   **Commentary:** This passage successfully communicates Liora's deteriorating physical state (Character State ch-07) and her desperate survivalism.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The bone-white architecture was becoming so translucent they could see the void of the atmosphere outside the Spindle."
    *   **Commentary:** This vivid imagery reinforces the "Harmonic Decay" world event, where architecture becomes brittle and translucent as the structure fails.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Liora Voss**
*   **Dialogue:** "I’ll sever every damn thread you have left!"
*   **Signature vocabulary / verbal tics?** YES. Uses "sever" and "thread"; later whispers "bind or break" (ritual mantra).
*   **Avoids forbidden speech patterns?** YES. She expresses no optimism or reliance on fate.
*   **Consistent emotional register?** YES. She is vengeful and furious ("I'll sever every damn thread" matches her 10/10 stress expression).

**Character: Thorne Quill**
*   **Dialogue:** "If it takes me, you can get away. I’m just a secondary thread, Liora. My life for yours."
*   **Signature vocabulary / verbal tics?** YES. Uses weaving metaphors ("secondary thread").
*   **Avoids forbidden speech patterns?** YES.
*   **Consistent emotional register?** YES. He is "eerily detached" and views his life as secondary (matches Character State ch-07).

**Character: The Stained Binder**
*   **Dialogue:** "The Stained see you, Liora Voss. We see the tether. It is a beautiful thing. A heretical thing."
*   **Signature vocabulary / verbal tics?** YES. Uses "heretical" and "tether."
*   **Avoids forbidden speech patterns?** YES.
*   **Consistent emotional register?** YES. Refers to the protagonists as icons/idols, matching the "Devout" status in Faction Attitudes.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Tactile Magic Use:** The way Liora interacts with the environment through weaving—"She visualized the thread, a thick, greasy strand of grey light, and forced her own violet energy into it"—is specific and grounded in the established magic system.
*   **Atmospheric Decay:** The description of the "Blind Weave" where "The gravity here was... wrong. It pulled at her from the left" perfectly captures the Spindle's structural collapse (Harmonic Decay).
*   **Character Dynamics:** Thorne’s willingness to be sacrificed ("My life for yours") creates a sharp, necessary friction with Liora’s compulsive need to "fix" or "bind" connections, moving her closer to her arc's need for vulnerability.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The air here was older, smelling of lanolin and the dry dust of centuries." (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** This violates Liora’s Voice Signature/Notes. The profile states: "Always smells faintly of lanolin... avoids direct eye contact." By assigning the smell of lanolin to the *room* rather than the *character*, it dilutes her specific character scent marker or creates sensory confusion.
*   **FIX:** "The air here was older, tasting of dry dust and ancient machinery, though the scent of her own lanolin-stained gloves felt sharper in the stagnant cold."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...the violet shards embedded in his skin, echoing the ones in her own palm, made her stomach churn." (Early)
*   **PROBLEM:** The Context (ch-07) states Thorne is "Emitting low-frequency violet hum" and experiencing spasms, but the "shards" are specifically listed under Liora's physical state. Thorne having shards is not established in his character state, and it’s unclear if he gained them via the tether or if the author confused the two characters' physical symptoms.
*   **FIX:** "...the violet hum emanating from his skin, a sickening mirror of the shards embedded in her own palm, made her stomach churn."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Constraint Reinforcement (Optional):** Liora’s profile says she "Unconsciously braids her own hair strands when deep in thought." In the text, she does this: "Liora stood, her fingers instinctively reaching for her hair to braid a loose strand."
    *   **Suggestion:** Pair this action with a moment where she is specifically *deceiving* or *deep in thought* about Elowen Shade to tighten the link between the habit and her internal state.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not "fix" Liora's repetition:** The repetition in "bind-bind-bind it now" or her obsessive focus on "the knot" is a signature of her panic/imperfection signature.
*   **Do not lighten the tone:** The "nihilism" of Maros and the "detached" nature of Thorne are core to their current arc positions (30% and 40% respectively).
*   **Do not remove the "bind or break" mantra:** This is a specific verbal tic listed in her voice signature.

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### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** While the chapter captures the atmospheric horror and character voices exceptionally well, there is a significant continuity error regarding the physical manifestation of the corruption (shards vs. hum) and a sensory conflict regarding the "lanolin" scent specifically tied to the protagonist's profile.