### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

**Quote 1 (Early):** "Liora’s boots scraped against the corroding rungs of the maintenance ladder, each descent syncing with the frayback tremors ripping through her frayed palm, while behind her, Thorne's violet-humming form trailed like a shadow bound too tightly."
*Commentary:* This efficiently establishes the physical toll of the "frayback" while reinforcing the tactile, weaving-based imagery central to the magic system.

**Quote 2 (Mid):** "Liora’s vision, already tunneling from the hemorrhaged in her eyes, shifted. The bone-white walls of the shaft didn't just look brittle; they looked *frayed*."
*Commentary:* This reinforces the character's internal physical state (ocular hemorrhaging) while effectively externalizing her internal "weaving" obsession onto the environment.

**Quote 3 (Late):** "She saw the Loom. It wasn't a machine. It was a gargantuan, multi-dimensional predator, its limbs made of billions of screaming silver threads. And it was leaning in."
*Commentary:* The prose successfully transitions the Loom from a conceptual "purr" to a terrifying physical manifestation using the establish thread motifs.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** "‘I’ll sever every damn thread you have left!’"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. She uses her specific "furious" stress expression provided in the voice signature.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech?** YES. She expresses no optimism and does not say "fate will decide."
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. She is vengeful and survivalist, reaching for tactile threads as per her profile.

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** "‘If it takes me, you can get away. I’m just a secondary thread, Liora. My life for yours.’"
*   **Signature Vocabulary?** YES. He uses loom-related metaphors.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech?** YES.
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. He is "eerily detached" and views his life as secondary to Liora’s, as established in the arc notes (40%).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Sensory World-Building:** The description of the Blind Weave’s atmosphere—"smelling of lanolin and the dry dust of centuries"—neatly aligns with Liora’s character profile (smells of lanolin) and the weaving theme.
*   **The Ritual Mantra:** Liora’s use of "Bind or break" (Early) serves as a grounding verbal tic that reinforces her "fixer" personality under extreme stress.
*   **Physical Manifestation of Magic:** The description of the violet tether becoming a tactile "raw nerve ending shared between two bodies" (Mid) effectively raises the stakes of their physical connection.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Stained see you, Liora Voss. We see the tether. It is a beautiful thing. A heretical thing." (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the World State, the Stained view the protagonists as "icons" and the violet light as a "New Weave." Calling it "heretical" contradicts their fanatical/devout attitude toward the new light.
*   **FIX:** "The Stained see you, Liora Voss. We see the tether. It is a beautiful thing. The True Weave."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...as a mist of Null-Gas began to seep through the seams of the floorboards." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** Earlier in the chapter, Liora notes: "The air here was older... lanolin and the dry dust of centuries." Thorne states: "The gas is holding at the hatch... It’s confused." Having the gas suddenly appear through floorboards contradicts the established "broken geometry" that was protecting them.
*   **FIX:** "The static of the Blind Weave flickered as the Spindle’s own structural decay began to let the purge bleed through the walls."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Liora’s vision, already tunneling from the hemorrhaged in her eyes, shifted." (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** Grammatical error ("hemorrhaged" as a noun) and awkward phrasing.
*   **FIX:** "Liora’s vision, already tunneling from the ocular hemorrhaging, shifted."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The violet tether thrummed like a vein exposed, and in its glow, Liora saw it—not a bond, but teeth closing around her thread." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** This final sentence is poetic but vague. It’s unclear if this is a literal manifestation of the Loom or a metaphorical realization about the tether itself.
*   **FIX:** "The violet tether thrummed like an exposed nerve; through the shared Loom-sight, she saw the connection for what it had become: a jagged set of jaws closing around her very soul."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Optional:** In the passage "Liora squeezed the rung of the ladder until the rusted metal bit into her skin" (Early), adding a mention of the lanolin smell on her hands could reinforce her character profile's sensory details.
*   **Optional:** When the Stained Binder mentions Elowen Shade (Late), Liora could react more specifically to her "rival" as noted in the relationship section of the profile.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not change:** Liora’s repetitive use of "bind-bind-bind" or "bind or break." These are intentional "imperfection signatures" of her panic.
*   **Do not change:** The detachment in Thorne’s voice. This is a deliberate arc progression (40%) into his Loom-corrupted state.
*   **Do not change:** The "wrong" gravity of the Blind Weave. This is a specific world-state event (Harmonic Decay).

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** While the character voices are perfectly aligned with the RAG profiles and the prose is evocative, there are significant continuity contradictions regarding the "Stained" faction's terminology and a grammatical error regarding Liora’s physical state that require correction.