### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   "Liora's left palm throbbed with violet insistence, the aperture pulsing like a second heartbeat as she slumped against the Threshold's unyielding bulkhead, the air thick with lanolin and the metallic tang of frayed threads." (Early) — This effectively establishes the sensory "World State" by grounding the abstract magic in the specific smells (lanolin) and physical sensations dictated by the character sheet.
*   "His head snapped up. His eyes weren't entirely his own; they held a predatory depth, a sea of violet light that seemed to see through her bulkhead and into the very marrow of the Spindle." (Mid) — This passage captures Thorne's transition into a "sentient, necessary anchor" while emphasizing the invasive nature of the Loom’s power.
*   "She saw the parents she had lost—brief flickers of their souls, unbound and drifting in the sub-strata of the machine. The trauma hit her like a physical blow, a momentary frayback that threatened to sever her own life-thread." (Late) — This utilizes the "Known secrets" and "Wound" from the context to provide high-stakes internal conflict during a mechanical ritual.
*   "The gravity slammed back into place with a bone-jarring thud. The violet bleeds on the walls dimmed, retreating into the cracks." (Late) — The prose here cleanly illustrates the "Indigo Contagion" and "Gravity fluctuations" world events without over-explaining the mechanics.

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2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** “You’re an anchor-weight, not a martyr... Watch the weave, or it’ll unravel us both.”
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Uses "anchor-weight" and "weave/unravel" metaphors.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** YES. She avoids being optimistic; even her "success" is phrased as a "grim satisfaction."
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. She is "physically exhausted but mentally sharp" as per [character-state].

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** “It’s not rot. It’s a song. Can’t you hear it, old man?”
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Reflects his "hyper-attuned" state and communication with the Loom.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** N/A (None listed).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. He is seething with power and protective of Liora.

**Elder Maros**
*   **Quote:** “The Spindle is sealed, but the Purists… they are not waiting for the lockdown to expire.”
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. His dialogue reflects "political panic" and the immediate threat of the "Purist mobilization" from the World State.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** N/A (None listed).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. He sounds "politically panicked" and "fearful."

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Integration of Sensory Cues:** The consistent use of "lanolin and indigo dye" smells and the "violet aperture" physical tell. (Quote: "...the air thick with lanolin and the metallic tang of frayed threads.")
*   **Incremental World Building:** The depiction of the "Stained" movement and the radicalization of Junior Binders through action rather than exposition. (Quote: "...Junior Binders... were obsessively scratching symbols into the floor tiles... The patterns were jagged, recursive.")
*   **High-Stakes Magic Mechanics:** The "Frayback" risk and the "Dirty Circuit" are treated as physical, visceral dangers. (Quote: "It felt like hot lead being poured into her veins...")

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The ocular pressure receded."
*   **PROBLEM:** Earlier in the chapter, Liora is described as having "ocular hemorrhaging." While the *pressure* might recede, the blood and staining are "Permanent: YES" in the state, and a physical hemorrhage would not be "fixed" simply by stabilizing a circuit.
*   **FIX:** "The agonized pressure behind her eyes receded to a dull, throbbing ache, though the world remained blurred by the blood still pooling in her tear ducts."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Dirty Circuit is demanding its due. It’s an unpaid debt, Thorne. If we don’t stabilize the resonance, it’ll pull the biological stability right out of our marrow to fill the gap."
*   **PROBLEM:** The phrase "biological stability" sounds too clinical and modern for a setting described through "weaving," "lanolin," and "indigo." It breaks the tactile, archaic tone of the Magic Discipline.
*   **FIX:** "The Dirty Circuit is demanding its due. It’s an unpaid debt, Thorne. If we don’t stabilize the resonance, it’ll pull the very life-marrow from our bones to patch the holes."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Lean harder into Liora’s specific verbal tic of whispering "bind or break" earlier in the chapter to emphasize her panic during the gravity shift.
*   **Reference Quote:** "Liora’s fingers went to her hair, unconsciously beginning to braid a stray lock... 'Bind-bind-bind,' Liora muttered..."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "soften" Liora's dialogue:** Her harshness toward Thorne ("You’re an anchor-weight, not a martyr") is a direct result of her fatalistic emotional state and is not an error in character likability.
*   **Do not remove the "repetitive" mutterings:** "Bind-bind-bind" is her specifically requested Imperfection Signature for when she is panicked.
*   **Metaphor Consistency:** Maintain the "thread/weaving" metaphors even where they seem heavy-handed (e.g., "pull at fate's hem"); this is a fundamental voice requirement for Liora.

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### 8. VERDICT
**REVISE**
**SCORE: 88**
**Justification:** The chapter is an excellent direct application of the RAG context, but it contains a minor continuity issue regarding the immediate "receding" of a hemorrhage and one instance of clinical language ("biological stability") that disrupts the high-fantasy "Threadbinding" voice.