### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The high dais of Blackthorn Keep rose like a fang from the shadowed heart of the keep, where the air thickened with the scent of iron oaths and unwilling blood."  
    *Commentary:* Effectively establishes the predatory tone of the setting and introduces the "iron" and "blood" motifs central to the magic system.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He looked at her not as a woman, nor even as a bride, but as a ledger looks at a debt finally being collected."  
    *Commentary:* This simile perfectly aligns with Reginald Thorne’s characterization as a man focused on the "Annexation" and "Voss assets."
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Isabella felt the Crimson Oath Lash—her own signature magic—stirring in response to the ritual. Usually, she was the one who cast the chains to enforce the promises of others. Now, the magic recognized its master's subjugation."  
    *Commentary:* Excellent thematic use of her specific power to emphasize her loss of agency, though it borders on "telling" rather than "showing" her internal struggle.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "Reginald held out a ceremonial dagger, its blade a sliver of obsidian. He caught Damien’s palm first, a shallow slice that Welled with thick, dark red."  
    *Commentary:* The capitalization of "Welled" appears to be a typographical error rather than a stylistic choice, breaking the flow of an otherwise tense moment.

---

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Isabella Voss**
*   **Line:** "Pray tell, Damien, how does one bind a heart with vows of crimson, only to watch it bleed defiance?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES ("Pray tell", "is it not?").
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** YES (No slang or groveling).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Maintains "regal correction" mask despite physical pain).

**Damien Blackthorn**
*   **Line:** "I began to fear the Nightbloom had found their spine and decided to perish in a final, glorious blaze rather than hand over their prize."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Predatory, focus on "prize" and "vessel").
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** YES.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Cruelly intrigued, dismantling her composure).

**Lord Reginald Thorne**
*   **Line:** "The Treaty of Thorns demands its signature. And the Blackthorn line demands its vessel."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Commanding, transactional language).
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** YES.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Triumphant, viewing Isabella as a harvestable resource).

---

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Hemomantic Telling:** The physical habit of Isabella tracing her scars is well-integrated.  
    *Quote:* "She was tracing the faint, jagged outlines of the scars through her gloves, a nervous habit she couldn't suppress."
*   **Voice Consistency:** Isabella’s specific rhetorical questions are used effectively to show her internal state without breaking her regal exterior.  
    *Quote:* "Scars are merely the history of one's endurance, is it not?"
*   **The Power Dynamic:** The contrast between Damien’s physical dominance and Isabella’s internal "Hemomantic exhaustion" creates immediate tension.  
    *Reference:* Specifically the scene where Damien presses his thumb into her hidden wound on the dais.

---

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Reginald held out a ceremonial dagger... He caught Damien’s palm first... Then, he turned to Isabella. He didn't wait for her to offer her hand. He grabbed it... With a swift, cruel motion, he sliced through the glove and the skin beneath."
*   **PROBLEM:** The "Character State" for Isabella notes she has "fresh wrist scarring concealed by lace" and "silk gloves saturated with hidden blood." Reginald is hyper-vigilant about the "unmarked vessel" clause. If he slices her hand/wrist and she is already bleeding or has massive scarring under the silk, he would notice immediately, yet he only reacts to the "power" of the magic, not the violation of the "unmarked" requirement.
*   **FIX:** Acknowledge Reginald’s suspicion or have the magical surge mask the pre-existing scars temporarily. *Correction:* "He sliced through the glove, and if he noticed the jagged ruin of older scars beneath the fresh cut, he gave no sign, his greed for the surging magic eclipsing all else."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "He caught Damien’s palm first, a shallow slice that Welled with thick, dark red."
*   **PROBLEM:** Typographical error. "Welled" is capitalized mid-sentence without reason.
*   **FIX:** "He caught Damien’s palm first, a shallow slice that welled with thick, dark red."

---

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Isabella Voss stood at the base of the stairs... Beneath her silk gloves, the palms of her hands were slick with a warmth that had nothing to do with the stifling heat..."
*   **PROBLEM:** The text notes "palms of her hands" are slick, but later says "blood was weeping from her wrists." While connected, the "unmarked vessel" clause specifically concerns her skin. If her gloves are "saturated," the blood would be visible to everyone in the "thousand flickering tapers," making her "hyper-vigilant" concealment attempt seem impossible.
*   **FIX:** Clarify that the silk is dark or thick enough to hold the moisture without dripping yet. *Correction:* "Beneath her heavy, midnight-silk gloves, the palms of her hands were slick..."

---

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Internal Monologue:** (Optional) Isabella’s internal thought "It is a touch inconvenient" is excellent, but follows a very heavy description of "psychic burn." The transition could be sharpened to highlight her sarcasm.
    *Quote:* "Her step faltered for a fraction of a second as the magical agony flared... *It is a touch inconvenient,* she thought..."
*   **Spatial Logic:** (Optional) The distance between the characters on the dais shifts rapidly. Damien is a "silhouette" at the summit, then she is "inches from him." A more distinct "climb" pulse would heighten the tension.
    *Quote:* "She began the climb. At the summit of the dais stood Damien Blackthorn."

---

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Isabella's Verbal Tics:** Do not remove "is it not?" or "Pray." These are identified in the Voice Signature as essential to her character.
*   **Melodramatic Tone:** The "fang" and "obsidian" descriptions are genre-appropriate for a "Crimson Vows" project and should not be neutralized.
*   **Repeated Words:** Isabella’s panicked repetition ("blood blood everywhere") is a signature flaw. If used in high-stress scenes later, it should not be edited for variety.

---

### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the character voices perfectly according to the RAG profiles, but contains a significant continuity risk regarding the "unmarked vessel" clause and Isabella's highly visible bleeding, alongside a few typographical errors.