### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Early:** "Her skin was no longer opaque. As she raised her hand to her face, she saw the pale, greenish flicker of the Great Hum moving beneath her flesh, tracing the map of her ancient Duval blood." — This effectively illustrates the transition from human to biological singularity through haunting, tactile imagery.
*   **Mid:** "Jax lunged, his movements blurred and inhuman. He didn't just grab the drone; he commanded the vines beneath the surface to rise. Thick, cable-like roots erupted from the water, lashing around the drone's wings." — This passage successfully transitions Jax from a physical combatant to a meta-physical guardian of the system.
*   **Late:** "The locket was gone now, fully absorbed, its silver providing a metallic sheen to her translucent ribs." — This provides a visceral, final visual for the destruction of Lena’s last tether to her human past.
*   **Late:** "To the world of men, Cypress Bend was gone—a geological anomaly, a write-off, a ghost." — This summarizes the "Great Silence" and "Grand Recession" world states with a punchy, atmospheric cadence.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT
**Lena Duval**
*   **Line:** "Hellfire... Not yet. No no, not that, no no."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES ("Hellfire" for upset; "no no" repetition for panic).
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech?** YES (No "I give up" or preemptive apologies).
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES (Transitioning from panic to "Bayou Nirvana" serenity).

**Jax Harlan**
*   **Line:** "Gator's truth, Lena... The land's gotta eat."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES (Uses "Gator's truth" as an undeniable fact of nature).
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech?** YES (Remains clipped and functional).
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES (Displays the "profound finality" noted in his state).

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Sensory Anchor:** The smell of "magnolia and mud" appears twice, honoring the voice signature requirement. Specifically: "The water was clear, the air was thick with the scent of magnolia and ancient mud..."
*   **The Siphon Hub Imagery:** The description of the facility’s reclamation ("Steel girders were being bent into the shape of gothic arches by the weight of the vines") creates a strong sense of the "Grand Recession" active world event.
*   **The Subversion of the Locket:** Using the silver locket as a literal molecular fuel for her transformation ("The silver was softening. The metal was weeping into her skin") is a powerful pay-off to her mother-wound arc.

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Jax didn't reach for a rifle. He didn't have one."
*   **PROBLEM:** While Jax emphasizes his "apex predator" status now, the character state for Ch-17 lists him as "Security Annex (Inner Perimeter)." It is a stretch that a security guardian in a militarized zone wouldn't have access to a rifle, even if he chooses not to use it. More importantly, the action of "commanding the vines" happens before his connection to Lena is finalized in the Hub.
*   **FIX:** "Jax didn't reach for a rifle; the cold steel of the Annex armory felt like a toy compared to the pulse in his palms." (This acknowledges his location/resource while emphasizing his evolution).

*   **ORIGINAL:** "He felt the coven’s relief as their individual burdens vanished into the whole."
*   **PROBLEM:** This is a POV break. The scene is currently in Lena’s third-person limited (Deep POV). Jax cannot "feel" the coven’s internal relief unless he is also merged with the Heart Tree at this exact moment, but he is described as being "two miles away" or just "bursting into the chamber." 
*   **FIX:** "Lena felt the coven’s relief as their individual burdens vanished into her own blooming consciousness."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The air hissed. A TDC extraction drone, a sleek, obsidian-colored bird of prey, broke through the heavy canopy."
*   **PROBLEM:** The "Great Silence" world state defines the area as a "dead zone where all human technology fails." The prototype's ability to fly is explained, but the "hiss" is vague. 
*   **FIX:** "The air hissed with the frantic whine of over-taxed shielding. A TDC extraction drone... fought against the atmospheric dampening of the Great Silence."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** In the middle section, Lena's "clipped and rhythmic" chant style could be emphasized more to match her voice signature.
*   **Quote:** "Take the salt, give the silt. Take the breath, give the wilt."
*   **Improvement:** Expand this to three lines to lean into the "Bayou Binding" flavor: "Take the salt, give the silt. Take the breath, give the wilt. By the bones, the blood is built."

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "fix" the repetition** in "No no, not that, no no." This is her specific panic signature.
*   **Do not remove the "Gator's Truth" thought-transmission.** Even though thoughts aren't usually nature-facts, in the context of their biological link, it functions as his grounding truth.
*   **Do not modernize the coven's speech.** Their subservience and rhythmic chanting are key to the "Acolyte" status in the world state.

### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82**
The chapter captures the "Bayou Nirvana" and the "Great Silence" world states with exceptional atmospheric prose. However, it contains a significant POV slip where Jax "feels" the internal emotions of the coven before he is physically or mentally unified with the Heart Tree Core, and a minor continuity logic jump regarding his equipment in the Security Annex. These must be corrected to maintain the integrity of the Deep POV.