### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The air here didn't just smell of ozone; it tasted of unfinished histories and the metallic tang of unmade matter."
    *   **Commentary:** This effectively uses synesthesia to establish the "Blind Weave" as a realm where physical laws are subordinated to conceptual or temporal data.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He was emitting a high-frequency violet luminescence that made the hair on Liora's arms stand up. Every few steps, his leg would twitch—a jerky, mechanical motion that suggested his muscles were no longer his own, but were being plucked by an invisible weaver."
    *   **Commentary:** The metaphor of the "invisible weaver" aligns perfectly with the world-building and heightens the body-horror elements of Thorne’s transformation.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "She grabbed the Violet Tether with both hands, the soul-anchor burning into her palms, charring the skin. The strain was agonizing."
    *   **Commentary:** This passage grounds the high-concept magical stakes in visceral physical consequence, preventing the "Blind Weave" from feeling too ethereal or low-stakes.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "When he spoke, it wasn't his voice that came out, but a sound that felt like the grinding of tectonic plates beneath a silk sheet."
    *   **Commentary:** The contrast between the "tectonic" scale and the "silk" texture maintains the weaving motif even while describing a non-human entity.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it'll unravel us both."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Uses "bind or break" and "bind-bind-bind" obsessively.
*   **Avoids Forbidden Patterns:** YES. She remains fatalistic and avoids optimism.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. Her panic manifests in the obsessive repetition of "bind," consistent with her "frayback" state.

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** "It’s not pulling me, Liora. It’s calling you. I’m just the... the conduit. The wire."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. His voice shows the "chordal layering" and "discordant harmony" consistent with his 40% arc position as a "bridge."
*   **Avoids Forbidden Patterns:** YES. 
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. His struggle against the "hunger" of the Loom is palpable in his mechanical twitching and linguistic strain.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Tactile Magic System:** The way Liora interacts with the world via "snapping an invisible thread between thumb and forefinger" (Mid) and "unconsciously braiding a thick strand" (Late) reinforces her character profile's tactile nature.
*   **Environment as Plot:** The description of "Harmonic Liquefaction" where the archway "dissolves into a slurry of golden light and grey stone" (Mid) isn't just window dressing—it heightens the urgency of Thorne's physical instability.
*   **The Reveal:** The specific phrasing identifying Elowen Shade—"The 'Dirty Circuit' wasn't a natural failure... it was a masterpiece of deliberate sabotage" (Late)—successfully closes the open loop from Chapter 6 while escalating the stakes for Chapter 8.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Liora lay there, her chest heaving, the smell of lanolin and burnt indigo dye thick in the air. She didn't look at him. She couldn't. She just stared at the shifting ceiling, her fingers still snapping a rhythm against her thigh."
*   **PROBLEM:** In the character profile, it is stated that Liora "never touches anyone casually; all contact is deliberate and charged with binding intent." However, just moments before this, the text says she "wrapped the glowing indigo energy around her arm, pulling herself toward him until she could grab his jacket, then his chest." While the touch was "charged with binding intent," the transition to her lying on the floor snapping her fingers suggests a loss of that charge/ritual focus too quickly. More importantly, the profile states she "fidgets by snapping an invisible thread between thumb and forefinger"—snapping a rhythm against her *thigh* is a slight deviation from her established fidget habit.
*   **FIX:** "She just stared at the shifting ceiling, her thumb and forefinger snapping against one another in a frantic, invisible rhythm."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The 'frayback' tunnel had begun to take hold—a shadowy distortion that ate at the edges of her sight, leaving only a centerpiece of blurred motion."
*   **PROBLEM:** The description of the tunnel is contradictory. A "tunnel" usually implies the center is clear and the edges are dark, but "centerpiece of blurred motion" suggests the center is also obscured.
*   **FIX:** "The 'frayback' tunnel had begun to take hold—a shadowy distortion that ate at the edges of her sight, leaving only a narrow, trembling window of clarity that threatened to collapse."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the transition when Thorne stops twitching.
*   **Quote:** "He wasn't twitching anymore. His posture was perfect, his limbs steady..." (Late).
*   **Reason:** Adding a sensory detail about the *silence* of his movements would contrast well with the previous "high-frequency violet luminescence" and "sickening click of his vertebrae."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not "fix" Liora's repetitive dialogue:** The repetition of "bind-bind-bind" (Late) is a specific character flaw/imperfection signature for when she is panicked. Do not streamline this into more "elegant" prose.
*   **Do not normalize the geometry:** The "non-Euclidean throat" and "floor was a suggestion" (Early) are intentional genre choices for the Blind Weave and must remain abstract.
*   **Do not soften Liora's dialogue:** Lines like "I’ll sever every damn thread in this place" (Late) are essential to her "Stress expression scale" in the voice signature.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter is atmospheric and follows character voices exceptionally well, but contains a visual contradiction in the description of "frayback" and a slight inconsistency in the character's signature fidgeting habit that needs alignment with the technical Profile.