### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

"The violet tether between her palm and Thorne's thrummed violent indigo, the only compass in a geometry that had forgotten its shapes, and Liora whispered 'bind or break' into the flickering dark." (early)
- This opening effectively establishes the character-specific verbal tic and the surreal, non-Euclidean setting of the Blind Weave.

"Thorne finally turned, and the sight of him made Liora’s breath catch. The violet light was leaking from his tear ducts, staining his cheeks in luminescent tracks. His pupils were jagged diamonds of indigo." (mid)
- The vivid imagery successfully reinforces the "harmonic liquefaction" world state where physical forms are yielding to the Loom's energy.

"She grabbed the Violet Tether with both hands, the soul-anchor burning into her palms, charring the skin. The strain was agonizing. She could feel her own life-thread fraying, the sensation like a thousand tiny needles piercing her spirit." (late)
- The prose here correctly translates the magical "frayback" limitation into high-stakes physical and spiritual sensory details.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
- **Quote:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it'll unravel us both."
- **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Uses "bind or break," "bind-bind-bind," and metaphors involving weaving/hems.
- **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** YES. She avoids being optimistic; even her attempt to save Thorne is phrased as a threat ("I’ll sever every damn thread... before I let you go").
- **Consistency:** YES. Her transition from "territied but resolute" to desperate action aligns with her 45% arc progression toward embracing vulnerability.

**Thorne Quill**
- **Quote:** "The threads... they aren't just frayed here. They’re liquified. Can’t you feel it?"
- **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. His speech reflects the "discordant harmony" and "Loom-sight" mentioned in the world state.
- **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** YES. He avoids being purely human, increasingly sounding like a conduit.
- **Consistency:** YES. His struggle against "instinctual hunger" for the Loom is evident in his jerky physical movements and final transition.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

- **Sensory World-Building:** The depiction of the Blind Weave's physics—"The floor was a suggestion that the soles of her boots frequently disputed" and "air had crystallized into jagged shards of frozen time"—vividly renders the high-concept setting.
- **Tactile Magic System:** Liora’s physical tells, specifically: "Her fingers flew to her hair, unconsciously braiding a thick strand with frantic, trembling precision," grounds the abstract "threadbinding" in relatable, nervous human habit.
- **The "Dirty Circuit" Mystery:** The revelation in the mid-chapter ("The weaver’s mark at the center of the code was unmistakable... Elowen Shade") successfully pays off the "Open Loop" from the context databases regarding sabotaged circuits.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

- **ORIGINAL:** "She lunged for it, her fingers dancing over the interface... She pulled the data-thread, her binder’s instinct sensing the shape of the command."
- **PROBLEM:** This violates the physical state of the Blind Weave established earlier in the chapter. The text states the Archival archway is "dissolving into a slurry" and that matter has lost its solid state (World State: Harmonic Liquefaction). A physical "terminal" with "core logic in this array" feels too grounded/technical for a zone where "matter near the breach has lost its solid state."
- **FIX:** Re-skin the terminal as a flickering, semi-transparent echo of data. "She lunged for a flickering ghost of a terminal—a memory of metal etched in light—pulsing with phantom power."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

- **ORIGINAL:** "Liora’s mind fractured for a moment—she saw her brother Rennar’s face in the dark, his severed thread a ghost that always pulled at her."
- **PROBLEM:** For a reader reaching Chapter 7, the introduction of Rennar here feels like a "namedrop" that lacks immediate emotional context within the chaotic scene, slowing the climax.
- **FIX:** Briefly anchor the memory to her current physical pain. "Liora’s mind fractured for a moment—she saw her brother Rennar’s face, the same hollow look he’d worn when his thread snapped, a ghost-ache that mirrored the searing heat in her own palms."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

- **Chapter Pacing:** The transition from the "data-thread" revelation to Thorne falling into the vortex is very sudden. 
- **Verbatim Quote:** "Suddenly, a massive spike of harmonic interference slammed into them." 
- **Suggestion:** Add one sentence prior to this to foreshadow the build-up of the "vortex," perhaps mentioning the floor becoming increasingly viscous or the violet hum reaching a deafening pitch to better bridge the discovery with the disaster.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

- **Do not "fix" Liora's repetitive chanting:** ("bind-bind-bind it now"). This is a stated imperfection signature in her Voice Signature and must remain to show her panic.
- **Do not soften Thorne's final dialogue:** The hollow, plate-tectonic sound of his voice is a deliberate sign of his "Loom-assimilation" arc and should not be made more "human" or "emotional."
- **Do not introduce optimism:** Per the character sheet, Liora "Never laughs freely or says anything optimistic." Her dark humor and fatalism are core components of the "Binding Thread" tone.

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### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 88**
**REVISE**

**Justification:** The chapter is tonally masterful and adheres strictly to the Voice Signatures and World State. However, a REVISE is required for the Continuity error regarding the physical terminal in a zone defined by "Harmonic Liquefaction" and for the slight Clarity issue regarding the protagonist's brother. Once the data interface is described as more ethereal to match the environment, the chapter will be a 95+.