### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The heavy oaken door of the Bridal Chamber thudded shut behind Damien Blackthorn, sealing Isabella Voss within the gilded cage of Blackthorn Keep’s High Tower."
    *   *Commentary:* This efficiently establishes the claustrophobic setting and identifies the central conflict—a marriage that is functionally an imprisonment.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "Damien’s voice was a low, melodic rasp. It lacked the stilted formality of the wedding chapel, shedding the veneer of the dutiful groom for something far more predatory."
    *   *Commentary:* This sensory description effectively pivots the tone from public ritual to private menace, characterizing Damien through sound and intent.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Isabella stood frozen, the silence of the room rushing back in to suffocate her. She slowly peeled back the silk glove, her breath hitching as the fabric tore away from the clotted blood."
    *   *Commentary:* The visceral detail of the fabric tearing away from the wound underscores the physical cost of her magic and the immediate stakes of her secret.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Isabella Voss**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "Pray tell, how does one bind a heart with vows of crimson, only to watch it bleed defiance?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics (YES):** She uses her signature "Pray tell" and ends with "is it not?" in her internal/external reflections.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns (YES):** She maintains a regal, elevated tone and avoids all slang.
*   **Emotional Register (YES):** She displays the "regal correction" mask while tracing scars, consistent with her 15% arc position as a "hostage-bride."

**Character: Damien Blackthorn**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "If the Elders see this, Isabella, they won't see a bride. They’ll see a defect. A breach of contract."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics (YES):** His speech is "jagged silk"—dominant and meticulously observant of her physical tells.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns (YES):** No slang; he remains "cruelly intrigued."
*   **Emotional Register (YES):** He oscillates between "predatory vitality" and "clinical" observation, fitting his 08% arc established in the RAG.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Hemomantic Cost:** The physical manifestation of magic is grounded well. *“A bead of blood squeezed from her hidden scar, soaking through the glove.”* This visceral imagery tethers the magic system to the immediate peril of the scene.
*   **Isabella’s Defiance:** Her refusal to grovel despite the Vow’s pain is vital. *“Pray, do not feel obligated to ruin it with your observations.”* This preserves her "Protagonist" role against Damien’s "Primary Tormentor" role.
*   **Atmospheric Tension:** The use of the "Unmarked Vessel" clause as a ticking clock provides excellent narrative tension. *“If you cannot play the part of the pristine bride, I cannot ensure the 'protection' your coven sold you for.”*

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "As Damien's shadow lingered in the doorway, his gaze fixed on the faint crimson bead seeping through her glove..." (Late - Closing line)
*   **PROBLEM:** Narrative Inconsistency. Two paragraphs prior, it is stated: *"He stepped out, the door latching with a heavy, final thud."* Then Isabella is alone, peeling back her glove. Damien cannot be lingering in the doorway observing her if he has already left and the door has latched.
*   **FIX:** Remove the final sentence or change it to: *"Even though the door had latched, Isabella could still feel the weight of Damien’s gaze, as if his shadow still lingered over the crimson bead seeping through her glove."*

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Isabella gasped, her hand flying to her heart. The Peace Vow. It sensed her internal dissent, the flicker of pure, unadulterated hatred she harbored for the man standing behind her."
*   **PROBLEM:** The mechanics of the "Peace Vow" vs. the "Crimson Oath Lash" are slightly blurred here. The RAG states the Peace Vow punishes dissent, while the Lash is her signature move. It is unclear if the "phantom lash of heat" is the Vow attacking her or her own magic reacting.
*   **FIX:** "Isabella gasped, her hand flying to her heart. The Peace Vow—that invisible warden of the Treaty—thrashed against her ribs, punishing the flicker of pure, unadulterated hatred she harbored for the man standing behind her."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Logic Check (Locket):** Isabella is mentioned fiddling with a locket at the end (*"She looked at the locket at her throat..."*). Earlier, her throat was described as *"encased in a high collar of seed pearls"*.
*   **SUGGESTION:** Briefly mention if the locket is tucked beneath the pearls or worn over them to avoid the reader questioning how she is touching it through the "garrote" of pearls.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do Not Change:** Isabella’s repetitive internal monologue (*"Blood, blood everywhere"*)—this is her "imperfection signature" for panic as per the character sheet.
*   **Do Not Change:** Sarcastic use of "Pray"—this is a core verbal tic.
*   **Do Not Change:** The ending of sentences with "is it not?"—this is her established speech quirk for seeking "ghostly affirmation."

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82/100**

**Justification:** The chapter captures the voices and world-state perfectly, but contains a significant continuity error where Damien is described as "lingering in the doorway" after he has explicitly exited and the door has "thudded shut" and "latched." This must be resolved to maintain immersion.