### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **"early":** "I... I flow... no, I mean falter," Elara whispered, the water-metaphors of her lineage slipping through her lips like a leak in a dam."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively demonstrates Elara’s "Imperfection signature" of water-related stammering when spiritually drained, as defined in her character sheet.
*   **"mid":** "The ritual isn't a cloak one simply sheds," Elara replied, leaning heavily on him as they turned toward the central altar. "It is... a reshaping. We are parts of the weave now."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage reinforces Elara’s "measured and rhythmic" pattern and her tendency to use Elderwood lore in her speech.
*   **"mid":** "The roots... they remember," Thorne hissed, his voice a jagged edge. "They remember the taste of blood better than the scent of rain."
    *   *Commentary:* This perfectly utilizes Thorne’s specific verbal tic ("the roots remember") to establish his vengeful mindset.
*   **"late":** "She felt like mist-shrouded reeds in a gale, her vision blurring."
    *   *Commentary:* This internal simile adheres to the prompt's instruction that in exhaustion, she "sways like mist-shrouded reeds."

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**ELARA VANCE**
*   **Quote:** "The falls... they whisper of old rot. The Council... they didn't just fail to stop it. They invited it."
*   **Signature vocab/tics?** YES. Uses water metaphors ("falls," "whisper") and Elderwood lore references.
*   **Avoids forbidden speech?** YES. No casual slang or modern idioms are present.
*   **Consistent arc position?** YES. She is 80% through her arc, moving toward "sacrificial leadership" and "paying debts through shared purpose."

**THORNE BLACKROOT**
*   **Quote:** "Hark, you wretches! The Sanctum is a cage, not a fortress!"
*   **Signature vocab/tics?** YES. Uses his specific prefix "Hark" and his verbal tic "the roots remember."
*   **Avoids forbidden speech?** YES. He shows no vulnerability or doubt.
*   **Consistent arc position?** YES. Reached 55%, committing his life-force to the final interception.

**KAELEN**
*   **Quote:** "The Despoilers scattered when the pulse hit. I saw them thrown back into the Ash-Fields like dried husks."
*   **Signature vocab/tics?** YES. His voice is "grimly focused" and "intensely protective."
*   **Avoids forbidden speech?** YES. 
*   **Consistent arc position?** YES. At 75%, he is now a "guardian of the Vessel's journey," acting as a literal support for Elara.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Tactile Grounding:** Elara’s habit of reaching for things to ground herself is well-maintained: "She reached out, her fingers instinctively searching for something tactile... Her hand brushed the rough leather of Kaelen’s bracer."
*   **The Debt Motif:** The complex interplay of debts is reinforced through dialogue: "I owe you the truth, Kaelen. I owe you a shield for the one you carried for me."
*   **Antagonist Limitations:** The adherence to Thorne's weakness (magic rebounds in pure sites) is shown through his physical state: "The right side of his face was a ruin of blisters and char, a gift from the Sanctum’s defensive pulse."

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The right side of his face was a ruin of blisters and char... His left arm hung uselessly at his side, but his right hand was buried deep in the soot-choked soil."
*   **PROBLEM:** The World State and Thorne's [character-state] (ch-08) specify "Face heavily bandaged with blackened cloth" and "right arm braced in jagged wood." The text implies his injury is fresh/uncovered and his left arm is the one injured.
*   **FIX:** "The blackened cloth covering his face pulsed with the heat of his blisters... His right arm, braced in jagged wood, remained still while his left hand clawed into the soot-choked soil."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "As the Root-Key's glow pierces the Sanctum's rear archway... Thorne's distant laughter echoes..."
*   **PROBLEM:** This final paragraph reads like a summary or a stage direction rather than narrative prose. It disrupts the immersion of the scene.
*   **FIX:** Rewrite to integrate into the flow: "As Elara stepped toward the archway, the Root-Key's glow pierced the darkness, revealing a thorn-choked tunnel. Beyond the walls, carried by the wind of the Ash-Fields, Thorne's laughter echoed like the cracking of dry bone: 'The forest devours the weak...'"

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the "mud/dew" physical tell mentioned in the notes.
    *   **Quote:** "Help me up," she commanded...
    *   **Reasoning:** The writer notes mention she tracks mud/dew everywhere. Adding a detail about her leaving a damp, silty handprint on Kaelen’s bracer would reinforce this.

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do Not Change:** Elara’s "stuttering" water metaphors ("I... I flow... no, I mean falter"). This is a deliberate "Imperfection signature" for spiritual depletion.
*   **Do Not Change:** The repetitive use of "By the roots." This is her established verbal tic for resolve.
*   **Do Not Change:** Thorne’s "Hark." It is his specific "archaic" speech quirk.

### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter is exceptionally strong on character voice and thematic consistency, but it fails on specific continuity details regarding Thorne’s injuries (which arm is braced/wounded) and ends with a paragraph that feels like metadata rather than narrative. These must be corrected to align perfectly with the RAG character-state.