### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The spindle was a massive, fluted pillar of iron-wood and brass, usually singing a high, rhythmic soprano of industry. Now, it groaned—a guttural, dragging sound as if the very concept of time was grinding to a halt within its gears."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the sensory "dead-tone" of the world and uses the weaving metaphor to raise the stakes of the mechanical failure.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "The Junior Binders collapsed, clutching their stomachs as the frequency induced a sudden, violent nausea. One of them began to vomit a thin, grey bile."
    *   *Commentary:* This visceral detail successfully illustrates the "Terminus Frequency" mentioned in the world state, showing rather than telling its effects on non-binders.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The sensory bleed deepened. Liora saw her parents—the memory she kept locked behind a thousand steel doors. She saw the ritual failure, the way their souls had unspooled like cheap twine, leaving her standing in a circle of salt and ash."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage skillfully links the immediate magical action to Liora’s "Wound" from the character sheet, grounding the high-concept magic in personal trauma.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** "This knot's tightening, and I won't have your incompetence pulling the threads."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses the specific "This knot's tightening" upset-scale expression and weaving metaphors ("pulling the threads").
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** **YES.** She remains fatalistic and avoids saying "Fate will decide."
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** She displays the "clinical detachment" and "clipped commands" required by her profile.

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak... Watch the weave, Liora. Or let me watch it for you."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** He is mocking and predatory, actively throwing Liora's own metaphors back at her to test boundaries.
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** **N/A** (No specific forbidden list for Thorne, but fits "predatory and observant").
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** He has shifted from "passive prisoner" to "active manipulator" as per the Chapter 3 arc state.

**Elder Maros**
*   **Quote:** "Learn to live with the ink, Liora. It is your only currency now."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Reflects his "Pragmatic/Opportunistic" attitude and his commitment to using the "Stain" as a bypass.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Positioned at 15% arc, he is formally committing to heresy.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Sensory Bleed:** The shared perspective during the link is a core mechanic. Specifically, the moment: *"Through his eyes, she saw herself: a crumpled heap of indigo robes and desperation"* (Mid). This reinforces the "Liora/Thorne sensory bleed" open loop from the context.
*   **Metaphor Consistency:** The preoccupation with weaving terminology is maintained even in internal monologue: *"She saw the ritual failure, the way their souls had unspooled like cheap twine"* (Late).
*   **World Frequency:** The "dead-tone" and "Terminus Frequency" are consistent throughout the chapter, providing a looming atmosphere of collapse.

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Archival Guards positioned at the doors shifted... They were waiting for the command to terminate the 'infection.'" (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** The World State NPC Memory for Archival Guards states they are already "prepared to terminate Liora and Thorne" due to the Indigo Contagion breach. The text portrays them as waiting for a command, but the RAG states their attitude is "HOSTILE" and they observed a breach of safety thresholds.
*   **FIX:** Enhance their immediate threat level. **Rewrite:** "The Archival Guards positioned at the doors shifted, pulse-glaives humming at a lethal pitch. They didn't need a command; they were merely waiting for the breach-threshold to snap before terminating the infection."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "He began to pull at the excess energy, molding it, testing the boundaries of her soul. *Bind-bind-bind it now,* she thought..." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** The transition between Liora feeling Thorne's parasitic "pull" and her obsessive repetition is slightly too fast, making it unclear if she is trying to bind the *energy* or bind *Thorne*.
*   **FIX:** **Rewrite:** "He began to pull at the excess energy, molding it, testing the boundaries of her soul until the edges of her ego began to fray. Panic flared, white-hot and jagged. *Bind-bind-bind it now,* she thought..."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** (Optional) Specifically mention the "Thirteenth Strand" earlier in the ritual to foreshadow Thorne's final line.
    *   **Context:** While it’s mentioned late ("He’s using the Thirteenth"), adding a slight tactile cue earlier when Liora first touches him would bridge the "Open Loop" in the RAG more effectively. 
    *   **Relevant Quote:** "Liora felt Thorne’s grip tighten on her mind. He was pushing against the dampeners..." (Late).

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Verbal Tics:** Do not remove Liora's repetition of "bind-bind-bind." It is her identified "Imperfection signature" for panic.
*   **Negative Outlook:** Do not make Liora more hopeful. Her fatalism ("I won't have your incompetence pulling the threads") is a core character trait.
*   **Technical Jargon:** Terms like "Drive-spindle," "Warp-beam," and "Dirty Circuit" are essential to the world-building and should not be simplified.

### 8. VERDICT
**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter follows the Character Voice and World State context with high fidelity; however, there is a minor continuity drift regarding the Guards' readiness level and a clarity issue regarding the transition into Liora's "panic-state" during the link. These require minor "Must-Fix" adjustments.