### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

1. **"I... I flow... no, I mean falter," Elara whispered, the water-metaphors of her lineage slipping through her lips like a leak in a dam.** (Early) 
   *This effectively demonstrates the "Imperfection signature" found in her character sheet, showing her spiritual depletion through stuttered water metaphors.*
2. **"The stone is... so very still, Kaelen. It lacks the current. It weighs... it weighs too much."** (Early)
   *The rhythmic, fragmented sentence structure here perfectly captures her "Vessel" persona struggling with the weight of the Earth Aspect.*
3. **"He looked at her with a burgeoning awe that made Elara’s stomach churn. She was no icon; she was a woman whose ribs felt like they were held together by fraying twine."** (Mid)
   *This quote provides a strong internal contrast between Kaelen’s perception and Elara’s physical reality, reinforcing her "bruised ribs" physical state.*
4. **"The right side of his face was a ruin of blisters and char, a gift from the Sanctum’s defensive pulse. His left arm hung uselessly at his side..."** (Late)
   *This passage maintains continuity with the Character State for Thorne, reflecting the damage sustained during his narrow escape from the Sanctum.*
5. **"As the Root-Key's glow pierces the Sanctum's rear archway, revealing a thorn-choked tunnel pulsing with unnatural hunger, Thorne's distant laughter echoes..."** (Late)
   *The use of present-tense verbs ("pierces," "echoes") in the final paragraph marks a sudden, jarring shift from the established past-tense narrative of the chapter.*

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**ELARA VANCE**
*   **Quote:** "The falls... they whisper of old rot," she murmured, her eyes glazed. "The Council... they didn't just fail to stop it. They invited it."
*   **Signature vocab/tics?** YES (Uses water metaphors while depleted).
*   **Avoids forbidden speech?** YES (No slang or modern idioms used).
*   **Consistent emotional register?** YES (Resolute but wary, struggling with the "mourning" of the lost silence and the weight of secrets).

**KAELEN**
*   **Quote:** "The Despoilers scattered when the pulse hit. I saw them thrown back into the Ash-Fields like dried husks."
*   **Signature vocab/tics?** YES (The soot-stained skin and steady hand are mentioned; his focus is grimly on the threats).
*   **Avoids forbidden speech?** YES.
*   **Consistent emotional register?** YES (Intensely protective of Elara).

**THORNE BLACKROOT**
*   **Quote:** "Hark, you wretches! The Sanctum is a cage, not a fortress! We do not need to breach the walls if we can poison the well!"
*   **Signature vocab/tics?** YES (Uses "Hark" and "The roots remember").
*   **Avoids forbidden speech?** YES.
*   **Consistent emotional register?** YES (Vengeful and desperate).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Sensory Anchors:** The tactile grounding Elara uses is consistent with her character sheet. Quote: *"She reached out, her fingers instinctively searching for something tactile to tether her soul back to her skin. Her hand brushed the rough leather of Kaelen’s bracer."*
*   **Thorne’s Internal Conflict:** The chapter captures his specific brand of magic and its backlash. Quote: *"The roots... they remember... they remember the taste of blood better than the scent of rain."*
*   **The Ritual Mechanics:** The cost of harmonization is palpable and aligns with the Project Context. Quote: *"The Earth Aspect was settled... but the cost was a marrow-deep fatigue that made her limbs feel as heavy as the stone she had just commanded."*

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "As the Root-Key's glow pierces the Sanctum's rear archway, revealing a thorn-choked tunnel pulsing with unnatural hunger, Thorne's distant laughter echoes..."
*   **PROBLEM:** Tense shift. The entire chapter is written in past tense, but the final paragraph shifts to present tense without narrative justification.
*   **FIX:** "As the Root-Key’s glow pierced the Sanctum’s rear archway, revealing a thorn-choked tunnel pulsing with unnatural hunger, Thorne’s distant laughter echoed..."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Despoilers scattered when the pulse hit. I saw them thrown back into the Ash-Fields like dried husks."
*   **PROBLEM:** According to the Character State (ch-08), Kaelen is on the *Root-Path, beyond the Stone Sanctum*, but the start of this chapter places them firmly *inside* the Stone Sanctum floor. If they are inside, he cannot see the Ash-Fields from the interior of the Stone Sanctum without a specified window or opening.
*   **FIX:** Clarify how he saw this. *"I looked through the breach in the outer gate; I saw them thrown back into the Ash-Fields like dried husks."*

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Quote:** "The Council... they didn't just fail to stop it. They invited it." 
*   **Suggestion:** Since Elara’s arc is 80% complete and she is carrying a "Known Secret" regarding the Council’s silence, this internal realization could be tied more explicitly to the vision she just saw. Mentioning the "blackened ichor" again in her dialogue might bridge the gap between her vision and her accusation.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do NOT change Elara's stammering:** Expressions like *"I... I flow... no, I mean falter"* are intentional "Imperfection signatures" based on her depletion and must remain.
*   **Do NOT remove verbal tics:** Thorne's use of *"Hark"* and Elara's *"By the roots"* are project-mandated voice signatures.
*   **Do NOT smooth out the sentence fragments:** When Elara is depleted, her "fragmented and urgent" sentence structure is a requirement of her Voice Signature.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The chapter is tonally and characteristically excellent, adhering closely to the provided RAG context and voice signatures. However, the tense shift in the final paragraph is a significant continuity error that must be corrected, and a minor location/visibility contradiction regarding the Ash-Fields needs clarification.