### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The terminal’s core screamed—a sound Elias saw as jagged crimson fractures spiderwebbing across his vision—as the first rivulets of molten alloy seeped from its casing." 
    *This effectively establishes Elias's synesthesia during a moment of high-intensity physical destruction.*
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "The black ink of the Archive’s records was weeping from the walls, pooling into sigils that didn't exist in any human tongue." 
    *This reinforces the "linguistic fossil" concept through atmospheric, surreal visual imagery.*
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "A shadow erupted from the center of the room. It wasn't a shadow made of darkness, but of flickering, low-resolution light." 
    *The use of technological descriptors ("low-resolution") for a supernatural entity grounds the horror in the established world mechanics.*
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "Elias felt himself dissolving. He wasn't dying; he was being translated into a different medium." 
    *This line perfectly captures the "digital sublimation" arc closure mentioned in the project context.*
*   **Quote 5 (Late):** "The sun was rising, a pale, sickly thing that offered no warmth." 
    *This offers a stark, grounded contrast to the hyper-sensory chaos of the preceding scene.*

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Sarah Miller**
*   **Line:** "Elias, get a grip—what the actual fuck am I supposed to run toward?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. She uses "empirically speaking" and "from a rational standpoint" elsewhere in the chapter.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns?** YES. She avoids flowery supernatural affirmations, maintaining her skepticism even while experiencing the impossible.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. She hits her "furious" scale ("what the actual fuck") as defined in her voice sig for high-stress situations.

**Elias Thorne**
*   **Line:** "The source is the earth remembering how to speak before there were mouths to shape the words."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. His speech reflects his synesthesia ("saw the words as dull, heavy weights").
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns?** YES.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. He is in the "Transcendent completion" phase described in the Canonical Post-Ch-13 state.

**The Curator**
*   **Line:** "UNSUSTAINABLE... CRITICAL FAILURE DETECTED."
*   **Voice Match?** YES. The use of all-caps and technical/mechanical jargon ("spent fuel," "corrupted data") matches the entity's data-driven collapse.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Synesthetic Action:** The visceral integration of sound and sight during the climax. 
    *Reference:* "Elias saw the code as a series of obsidian pillars and he threw them into the path of the Curator’s light."
*   **Sarah's Sensory Anchors:** Her reliance on her recorder even when blind ensures her character remains grounded. 
    *Reference:* "She found it, the plastic clicking under her trembling thumb." 
*   **The Linguistic Virus Visuals:** The description of the virus as a physical, shimmering presence. 
    *Reference:* "The linguistic virus was a shimmering mesh of emerald green drifting through the static snow."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Resonance Harvest plummeted. Ninety-two percent. Eighty. Fifty."
*   **PROBLEM:** The Canonical Post-Ch-13 status in the RAG states the Harvest was aborted at **96%** completion. The text lists it starting the plummet from 92%.
*   **FIX:** Change the sequence to: "The Resonance Harvest plummeted. Ninety-six percent. Eighty. Fifty."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The terminal reached its flashpoint." / "The terminal exploded."
*   **PROBLEM:** In the RAG Context, Mark is listed as "Unconscious, stable" at "Security Door Alpha (perimeter)." After the terminal "explodes" and the archive "erases," Sarah wakes up outside. There is no mention of what happens to the unconscious Mark during this vaporization, leaving his RAG status "potential revival unclear" unsupported by the scene's total destruction.
*   **FIX:** Add a brief mention of the "indigo rift" or the "white light" expanding past Mark, or Sarah attempting to reach for him, to justify how he might have survived or been lost.

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "You said... Ch-chapter eleven... you said you’d explain."
*   **PROBLEM:** This is a meta-reference to the book's structure within the dialogue. It breaks immersion by having a character refer to the "chapter" they are in.
*   **FIX:** Rewrite to refer to a specific moment or time: "You said... back in the lower stacks... you said you’d explain."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Sarah's digital recorder clicked off as her vision cleared—not to darkness, but to Elias's silhouette dissolving into static snow, whispering her name in a voice that rewrites her thoughts."
*   **PROBLEM:** This sentence appears to be a redundant summary or a "logline" accidentally appended to the end of the prose, as it repeats the action of the previous two paragraphs but in a different tense.
*   **FIX:** Delete this final sentence. The chapter should end on "a final gust of static snow blowing across the clearing."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Optional (Sarah's Tic):** In her profile, it says she "stammers initial consonants... when audio feedback triggers her headache." 
    *Reference:* "Th-this frequency... it’s changing." 
    *Suggestion:* Increase the frequency of this stammer slightly in the mid-section as the Curator's screams intensify to better reflect the "upset/furious" stress scale.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "fix" Sarah's skepticism:** Even as her eyes bleed, she must keep using markers like "empirically speaking." This is core to her character's "analytical freeze-response."
*   **Do not clarify the "Linguistic Fossil" logic:** The vagueness of "pre-organic syntax" is an intentional part of the Cosmic Horror genre and Elias's fading mind; do not replace with hard science.
*   **Elias's physical state:** Do not make him more mobile. He has third-degree burns and a collapsed lung; his "movement" should remain largely metaphysical/synesthetic.

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### 8. VERDICT
**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the atmosphere and voice signatures excellently, but contains a significant continuity error regarding the Harvest's completion percentage (92% vs canonical 96%) and an immersion-breaking meta-reference to "Chapter 11" in the dialogue. The redundant "summary" sentence at the end also requires removal for the prose to flow correctly.