### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The silence hit like a hammer after the gears' final scream, leaving only the low thrum of the Siphon’s new heartbeat echoing through the dripping cathedral of Sector 4."
    *   *Commentary:* This establishes a strong sensory transition from the previous chapter's chaos into the "hollowed-out" atmosphere required by the character state.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "It was a blackened, fused lump of copper and casing, melted directly into the ancient iron teeth of the Siphon. It glowed with a faint, pulsing amber light, timed perfectly to the heartbeat of the room."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides a visceral visual for the "machine-magic" synthesis, grounding the abstract concept of a magical focus in industrial debris.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "The water... Flows out, eventually. We follow the rhythm."
    *   *Commentary:* The clipped, rhythmic sentence structure here perfectly mirrors the "bayou chant" pattern described in Lena's voice signature.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "From the surface of the stagnant water, a thick, white fog began to boil. It wasn't natural; it smelled of deep-earth mud and ancient, water-logged timber."
    *   *Commentary:* The prose successfully integrates the required sensory details (mud/timber) that ground Lena’s magic in the geography of the Bend.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Lena Duval**
*   **Quote:** "Gator’s truth, I didn't think you'd stay when the ghosts started screaming."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses "Gator’s truth" (undeniable fact) and "cher."
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns?** YES. She does not apologize and states her truth plainly.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. Reflects the "grimly satisfied" and "hollowed-out" clarity from the character state.

**Character: Jax Harlan**
*   **Quote:** "The tithe can wait. We need to move. The telemetry in the booth was lighting up red before I jumped."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses "combat variable" later in the scene, consistent with his tactical background.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns?** YES. No specific prohibitions listed for Jax; his dialogue remains blunt.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. Shows "protective stance" and acceptance of the supernatural as a variable.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Salt-Tithe Interaction:** The moment where Lena presses the salt-stained coin into Jax’s hand ("'Salt-tithe,' she murmured. 'For the life you gave back to the water...'") is a crucial payoff for the Ch-08 obligation and should not be altered.
*   **The Sensory Profile:** The recurring mention of the "magnolia and ozone" scent ("She smelled the magnolia suddenly—overpowering and sweet, clashing with the ozone") maintains the specific grounding details required by the character sheet.
*   **The Mechanical/Magical Synthesis:** The description of the Scrambler Box fused into the gears creates a permanent world-state change that feels earned through the prose.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "She reached for the silver locket... she snapped the clasp. She took his hand... and pressed a salt-stained coin... into his palm."
*   **PROBLEM:** Metadata and Character Profile state the Silver Locket is her "guilt signal" and her mother's heirloom. Snapping the clasp suggests destruction or permanent removal, yet in the "Clarity" section below, she is still "frantically twisting the bent silver links." This is a state-change inconsistency within the same scene.
*   **FIX:** Clarify that she removes the locket to use the chain or simply opens it to retrieve the coin, ensuring she still has the links to "twist" later in the tunnel. *Correction:* "She unclipped the bent silver chain from her neck, the metal cold against her thumb. From a small pouch behind the photo, she pulled a salt-stained coin."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Siphon's a lie. Gator's truth... it ain't meant to protect the bayou from the flood. It’s meant to harvest it... They're lighting their chandeliers with the soul of the swamp."
*   **PROBLEM:** Lena presents this as a sudden realization ("hollowed-out clarity"), but the RAG context lists this as a "KNOWN SECRET: CARRIED (Ch-09--unresolved)." The text treats it as a discovery made *in this moment*, whereas the metadata suggests she already knew it.
*   **FIX:** Adjust the dialogue to reflect that she is finally *telling* Jax what she has realized/stolen from the spirits, rather than discovering it for the first time. *Correction:* "I saw it when the resonance hit, Jax. Gator's truth... [continue with explanation]."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** In the scene where Lena pricks her palm ("The blood didn't flow; it oozed"), emphasize the "bone-deep lethargy" more. 
*   **Quote:** "Every step was a struggle. The lethargy was winning, pulling at her limbs like leaden weights."
*   **Reason:** This reinforces the "Limitation" section of her magic profile (Magic drains vitality/fevers).

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "fix" Lena’s repetition:** The line "*No no, not that, no no*" is her "Imperfection signature" for panic and must remain.
*   **Do not normalize the Cajun French:** Use of "cher" and "mon coeur" is a specific speech quirk for those she cares for; do not replace with standard English endearments.
*   **Do not smooth the "bent/fouled" description of the locket:** The state of the item (Dormant; chain is bent) is a specific piece of Metadata.

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### 8. VERDICT
**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** While the voice work is exceptional and aligns perfectly with the RAG signatures, there is a physical continuity error regarding the locket (snapping the clasp but later twisting the links) and a minor narrative misalignment regarding when Lena discovered the Siphon's true purpose. These require small but specific rewrites.