### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Isabella stood trembling, her palms a map of fresh, weeping lacerations where she had offered her vitality to stall the ritual."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively visualizes the physical cost of hemomancy while reinforcing the "map" of scars central to her character design.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He intercepted the first guard, his hand catching a spectral wrist with a sickening crack of displaced magic."
    *   *Commentary:* The phrase "displaced magic" provides a sharp, tactile sense of how supernatural forces interact with the physical world.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Ethereal chains of burning ruby light exploded from her palms, fueled by the shared agony of her bond with Damien."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage successfully anchors the "Crimson Oath Lash" ability in the emotional and physical connection between the protagonists.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The air pressure in the room shifted, making Isabella’s ears pop. It was the sound of a vacuum—a hunger that had been awakened and then denied."
    *   *Commentary:* This auditory and sensory detail effectively escalates the stakes from a personal skirmish to a cosmic imbalance.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT
**Isabella Voss**
*   **Line:** "Pray, Malakor, do save the dramatics for your next sermon."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Uses the sarcastic "Pray" prefix as specified in her Voice Signature profile.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** YES. She maintains an elegant, biting tone and avoids casual slang.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. Her transition from "trembling" to the "regal, icy register" aligns with her arc of becoming an intentional protector (now at 65%).

**Damien Blackthorn**
*   **Line:** "Pray, allow me this one... bit of... indulgence."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** NO/PARTIAL. While the line is heavy with his signature "smoldering rival" energy, he uses Isabella's specific verbal tic ("Pray"). However, given the context of the "blood-sharing" and "sensory bleed-through," this serves as a narrative hint of their blending identities.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** YES.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. His "simmering rage" toward his father and loyalty to Isabella match his 62% arc progress.

**Lord Malphas Blackthorn**
*   **Line:** "The Tithe must be completed... One way or another, the debt is owed."
*   **Voice Signature:** YES. His dialogue is "cool and detached," matching the RAG description of his "calculating; cold" personality.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Sensory Connection:** The physical manifestation of the bond ("He groaned... a vibration through Isabella's wrists") is a high-functioning genre trope that reinforces the project's core mechanic.
*   **Thematically Consistent Gore:** Passages like "bitter vintage she had served him against his will" perfectly blend the vampiric and hemomantic themes of the story.
*   **Legalistic Magic:** The dialogue regarding "Blood-sharing bypasses the Peace Vow" maintains the established world rule that power flows from unbreakable oaths and their loopholes.

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Isabella saw the way his eyes searched hers, demanding she be the monster he knew she could be."
*   **PROBLEM:** This contradicts Isabella's Arc (65%) and Damien's Arc (62%). Damien's need is "Protection/containment," and Isabella's core fear is being a "vessel of filth." Damien "demanding she be a monster" feels like a regression to Chapter 1 rather than Chapter 7's "intentional protector" phase.
*   **FIX:** "Isabella saw the way his eyes searched hers, demanding she claim the power they both knew she held."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "He wiped the blood from his cheek with a trembling hand, staring at the crimson stain on his fingers as if it were a foreign tongue."
*   **PROBLEM:** The metaphor "as if it were a foreign tongue" is confusing in this context. It implies he can't read/understand the blood, but Malakor is a High Priest of a blood coven; it should be his primary language. 
*   **FIX:** "...staring at the crimson stain on his fingers as if it were a blasphemy written in his own hand."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Symmetry Improvement:** (Refers to Quote: "Is it not enough?") Isabella's profile states she ends reflective sentences with "is it not?" seeking "ghostly affirmation." Strengthening this specific line could better highlight her mother's influence.
*   **Optional Fix:** "Is it not enough, Mother? Is it not finally enough?"

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Isabella's repetition:** Do not remove "Blood, blood, the price is always paid in blood." This is her "Imperfection signature" triggered by panic.
*   **The poetic flourishes:** "map of fresh, weeping lacerations" and "bitter vintage" are intentional voice choices for the genre/audience and should not be simplified.
*   **Damien's mimicry:** While he uses Isabella's "Pray," do not "correct" this to standard speech; it heightens the "sensory bleed-through" mentioned in the Character State.

### 8. VERDICT
**SCORE: 88**
**REVISE.**
The chapter is atmospheric and remains highly faithful to the complex voice signatures of the protagonists. However, the continuity of the character arcs (Damien wanting her to be a "monster") and the confusing "foreign tongue" metaphor require minor adjustments to maintain the thematic integrity of the world-building and character progression.