### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The Sigil burned like roots seeking deeper soil, its earthen resonance mapping agony across Elara's ribs as she swayed on the threshold, grey blight-ash crumbling from her mud-caked form."  
    *Commentary: This effectively establishes the physical toll of the ritual while grounding the magic in organic, tactile metaphors consistent with the project's tone.*
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He didn't just touch the earth; he violated it."  
    *Commentary: This short, punchy sentence creates a sharp moral and mechanical contrast between Thorne’s Blightweaving and Elara’s Harmonization.*
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "The 'Grey Zone' was no longer just a place of decay; it was a siege engine."  
    *Commentary: This provides a clear escalation of the stakes, shifting the environment from a passive setting to an active antagonist.*
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "She looked down at her feet and saw the trails of mud and dew she had tracked across the ancient floor—faint, shimmering ley-lines of her own making."  
    *Commentary: This beautifully integrates the "Notes for Writers" requirement regarding Elara tracking mud into a moment of thematic significance.*

---

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Elara Vance**
*   **Line:** "I... I flow... no, I mean falter."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. (Uses "By the roots" later; uses the specific water-metaphor stammer).
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech:** YES. (No slang or modern idioms used).
*   **Emotional Register Match:** YES. (Reflects her 70% arc position: stabilizing the Earth Aspect while feeling the physical "bone-deep exhaustion").

**Character: Kaelen**
*   **Line:** "Then let me be the mountain. You do what's needed. I'm not moving."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. (Terse, protective, uses physical metaphors).
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech:** YES.
*   **Emotional Register Match:** YES. (65% arc: acting as the Vessel's shield and channeling the Sunstone).

**Character: Thorne Blackroot**
*   **Line:** "Hark, you mewling curs! Regroup! The Vessel thinks stone and soil can hide her."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. (Uses "Hark" and "The roots remember").
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech:** YES. (No apologies or doubt).
*   **Emotional Register Match:** YES. (50% arc: retreating but escalating the corruption).

---

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Sensory Magic System:** The description of the ritual as a "low, tectonic frequency that vibrated through the soles of her boots" (Early) keeps the high-fantasy elements feeling visceral and heavy.
*   **The Mud Motif:** The detail that Elara "Tracks mud or dew... leaving subtle trails" from her character sheet is perfectly executed here: "shimmering ley-lines of her own making" (Late).
*   **The Tension of Debt:** The narrative pays off the context regarding "unpaid debts" through Elara’s dialogue: "debt binds us deeper than stone, Kaelen" (Mid).

---

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "He leaned heavily on the Hilt of his blade, the Sunstone Shard embedded within it pulsing with a fractured, fitful light."
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the "Canon Artifacts" list, the Sunstone Shard is a standalone item "recharged by the ritual," and the Hilt is not mentioned as its housing. More importantly, the World State says Stage Three (Earth) is COMPLETED, but the chapter opens with the ritual appearing to still be in progress or just finishing.
*   **FIX:** "He leaned heavily on his blade, his other hand gripping the Sunstone Shard, which pulsed with a fractured light." (Ensure the shard is a separate artifact as per the item list).

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The 'Grey Zone' was no longer just a place of decay; it was a siege engine."
*   **PROBLEM:** Location inconsistency. Thorne is in the "Ash-Fields" (Character State), but the "Grey Zone" is the "perimeter" (World State). The text implies they are the same location.
*   **FIX:** "The Ash-Fields at the edge of the Grey Zone were no longer just a place of decay; they had become a siege engine."

---

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "He felt for the pulse of the Great Blight... He could feel the Sanctum’s aura—a dome of pure, stubborn life... It reminded him too much of Oakhaven before the fires..."
*   **PROBLEM:** The transition between Thorne feeling the Blight and his internal monologue about Oakhaven is slightly muddy, potentially confusing the source of his current magic with his memory.
*   **FIX:** "He reached for the pulse of the Great Blight... The Sanctum’s aura pushed back—a dome of pure, stubborn life that tasted like the Oakhaven he had lost to the fires."

---

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Clarify the physical state of the "Root-Key."
    *   **Context:** The World State mentions a "Root-Key" emerged from the altar, but Elara does not interact with it in this chapter despite being in the Sanctum.
    *   **Quote:** "The path to the Heart-Root is revealed." (World State).
    *   **Optional Fix:** Add a brief line where Elara notices the Root-Key forming on the altar to bridge the gap to Chapter 8.

---

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not "fix" Elara’s stammering:** The line "I... I flow... no, I mean falter" is a specific imperfection signature for spiritual drainage and must remain.
*   **Do not modernize dialogue:** Phrases like "Hark" and "mewling curs" are essential to Thorne’s "elaborate metaphors/taunting" profile.
*   **Do not remove the "bruised ribs" mentions:** This is a key limitation of Elara's magic and must be repeated to show the cost of her powers.

---

### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 92**
**REVISE**

**Justification:** The writing is exceptionally strong and adheres strictly to the complex voice signatures and character sheets. However, minor **MUST-FIX** continuity issues regarding the Sunstone's mounting and the specific naming of geographical zones (Ash-Fields vs. Grey Zone) require correction to maintain a 100% consistent world-state. No major structural or voice revisions are needed.