### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Blood welled from the gash in Liora's palm, indigo residue swirling into crimson threads that dripped onto the silver shards scattered across the Weaving Chamber floor."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the "weaving" motif by literalizing it through the mixture of blood and dye, anchoring the reader in the tactile reality of the magic system.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "It was a shifting, iridescent void-color that moved with its own gravity. It didn't follow the warp and weft of the Great Loom."
    *   *Commentary:* The prose successfully differentiates Thorne's "thirteenth strand" by using physical and spatial metaphors that contrast with the rigid order of the Conclave.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Thorne wasn't just a man; he was a mountain of iron. He was the smell of rain on hot asphalt and the terrifying freedom of a falling stone."
    *   *Commentary:* This sensory overload vividly conveys the impact of the Soul-Link, though the "asphalt" reference feels slightly anachronistic given the "vats" and "looms" established earlier.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "She had tried to bind him to the Conclave, but she had only succeeded in tethering herself to the storm."
    *   *Commentary:* This concluding sentence neatly encapsulates the character arc shift and the central conflict of the story.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Line:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it'll unravel us both."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses "fate's hem," "weave," and "unravel," which align with her winding metaphors and weaving imagery.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech:** **YES.** She avoids optimism and does not say "Fate will decide."
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** She is frantic and obsessive, repeating her mantra "bind-bind-bind" (Arc 05% requirement).

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Line:** "You look a bit frayed at the edges, Weaver."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses "frayed," a term related to the weave/Conclave, to mock Liora.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech:** **N/A** (No specific "never say" constraints provided in profile).
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Defiant and observant, shifting from mockery to a realization of mutual power.

**Elder Maros**
*   **Line:** "The Conclave notes the contamination of the instruments. It seems the boy’s soul is as dirty as his reputation."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Speaks with a dry, judgmental tone consistent with his "predatory" nature.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech:** **YES.**
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Displays "predatory satisfaction" at the failure of the tools.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Physicality of Frayback:** The description of sensory decay ("Peripheral frayback was creeping in, a familiar, terrifying static") is a strong, unique mechanic that heightens tension and should remain.
*   **Intertwined Character/World Internalization:** Liora’s internal monologue ("This knot's tightening. I will not have it unravel") perfectly blends her profession with her psychological state.
*   **Thorne’s Internal Resonance:** The description of his power as a "physical vibration of his skin that distorted the air" provides a tangible reason for the silver's destruction.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The air still carried the sharp, metallic ozone of the rupture, a scent that fought with the omnipresent, suffocating sweetness of lanolin and the earthy tang of the vats." (Early)
*   **PROBLEM:** While excellent for atmosphere, the later mention of "rain on hot asphalt" (during the link) introduces a modern material (asphalt/bitumen) into a world described via vats, stone chambers, and manual looms.
*   **FIX:** Replace "asphalt" with a more period-appropriate texture. *Revised:* "He was the smell of rain on sun-baked stone and the terrifying freedom of a falling mountain."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The silver had not just snapped; it had detonated." (Early)
*   **PROBLEM:** This creates a slight visual confusion with the "Silver Needle Shards" mentioned in the RAG Context. If the needles detonated into shards, the mechanism of the "Loom’s failure" needs to be more clearly linked to the shards on the floor.
*   **FIX:** "The silver needles had not just snapped; they had detonated, embedding shards into the floorboards and Liora’s palm."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Optional (Dialogue):** Thorne’s line "You tried to stitch my essence to your little ledger" (Mid) is strong, but could be even punchier if it referenced his "thirteenth strand" directly to show he knows exactly why she failed.
*   **Optional (Physical habit):** Include a moment where Liora "unconsciously braids her own hair" as per her habit in the character sheet, perhaps right before she decides to touch Thorne.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **DO NOT** remove the repetition of *“bind-bind-bind.”* This is a specific character signature indicating her panic and her fatal flaw (compulsive Need to fix).
*   **DO NOT** make Liora’s dialogue more optimistic or polite. Her fatalism and clipped, weaving-centric commands are essential to her "Voice Signature."
*   **DO NOT** smooth out the "frayback" descriptions into standard "dizziness." The specific term and its "static" manifestation are core world-building elements.

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### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 88**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The chapter is tonally consistent and masterfully applies the character profiles; however, the "asphalt" reference is a minor immersion-breaking continuity error, and the "detonation" visual needs a slight clarity adjustment to align with the physical state of the room.

**REVISE**