### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Indigo staining had already climbed past her wrist, a dark, bruised lichen crawling toward her bicep."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively visualizes the physical cost of the ritual using the "indigo dye" motif established in the character profile.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "Liora’s scream was caught in her teeth. It wasn't just heat; it was a sensory invasion."
    *   *Commentary:* This visceral description captures the intensity of the "Soul-Link" without resorting to overused magical cliches.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "The 'Dirty Circuit' was still demanding, still hungry, but it was anchored. For now."
    *   *Commentary:* These short, punchy sentences emphasize the precariousness of their situation and hit the "clipped command" pattern of Liora’s voice.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "Maros’s face contorted into something wretched and small."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides a sharp character beat that aligns with his arc of "sanctioned heresy for personal/political survival."
*   **Quote 5 (Late):** "The Loom felt it. The machine gave a low, resonant sigh that vibrated through the floor and into their bones."
    *   *Commentary:* This personification supports the "Loom Frequency" world state where the machine has achieved low-level sentience.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Line:** "You can’t just pull at fate’s hem like it’s your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it’ll unravel us both."
*   **Signature vocabulary/tics:** YES ("watch the weave", "fate's hem").
*   **Avoids forbidden speech:** YES (Does not say "Fate will decide" or laugh freely).
*   **Emotional register:** YES (Fatalistic and defiant).

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Line:** "Just bind it, Liora. Bind-bind-bind the damn thing."
*   **Signature vocabulary/tics:** NO (Violation found).
*   **Avoids forbidden speech:** YES.
*   **Emotional register:** YES (Hyper-attuned to the Loom).
*   **Violation:** The line "Bind-bind-bind the damn thing" mimics Liora’s specific imperfection signature ("repeats key words obsessively when panicked"). While the text acknowledges this as mimicry, the profile states this is *her* specific voice signature. Having Thorne use it, even in mimicry, dilutes her unique "imperfection signature."

**Elder Maros**
*   **Line:** "By the Weaver’s Grace, what have you done to my spindle?"
*   **Signature vocabulary/tics:** YES (Focus on ownership of the "spindle").
*   **Avoids forbidden speech:** YES.
*   **Emotional register:** YES (Politically panicked).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Tactile Magic Mechanics:** The physical habit of Liora "snapping an invisible thread between her fingers" (Late) is a perfect realization of her voice signature ("What they REACH FOR: tactile").
*   **Sensory World-Building:** The consistent use of the "smell of lanolin and indigo dye" (Early and Late) anchors the scene in the specific industry of the Threadbinders.
*   **The "Dirty Circuit" Dynamics:** The shared biological toll between Liora and Thorne, specifically where she feels the Loom's "hunger" (Mid) through him, successfully pays off the "UNPAID" obligations from the context.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The air inside the spindle was thick, tasting of ozone and the sharp, oily scent of lanolin." (Early)
*   **PROBLEM:** The character profile for the World State explicitly says she smells of "lanolin and indigo dye," but the physical environment within the spindle—a place of high-energy machinery—is described elsewhere as smelling of "ozone." Lanolin is a wool-grease smell; while it belongs to *her*, having the air of the Core Spindle (a metallic hub) taste like it without mentioning the loom-work itself creates a slight sensory confusion.
*   **FIX:** "The air inside the spindle was thick with ozone, warring with the scent of lanolin clinging to her own skin."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Liora and Thorne vs. the Thirteenth Strand (ch-04) -- UNRESOLVED" (Context)
*   **PROBLEM:** The chapter text concludes with the "Dirty Circuit" being somewhat stabilized. However, the Context says Liora and Thorne's debt to each other is "UNPAID." The chapter shows them paying this debt (biological stabilization), but does not explicitly reflect the "25% Arc" progress where Thorne moves from "disposable sacrifice" to "sentient necessary anchor" clearly enough in Elder Maros's eyes; Maros still views him as an "asset."
*   **FIX:** No text change required, but ensure Ch-05 meta-data tracks the "Biological Stability" obligation as "PARTIALLY PAID/ONGOING."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "I see it," she muttered into his shoulder, her eyes closed. Behind her eyelids, she saw the threads of their lives not just touching, but intertwining in a complex, heretical braid. (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** This transition from physical contact to metaphysical "vision" is slightly abrupt. It's unclear if this is a literal hallucination caused by "frayback" or a deliberate use of her "Soul-Link" ability.
*   **FIX:** "I see it," she muttered into his shoulder, her inner eye snapping open as the Soul-Link forced a vision behind her eyelids.

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the "Junior Binders" reference.
*   **Quote:** "The Junior Binders are in the halls sketching your heretical patterns on the walls!" (Late)
*   **Improvement:** Mentioning that they are "compulsively sketching" (from the NPC Memory Context) would heighten the horror of the Indigo Contagion spreading through the Spindle.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Verbal Tics:** Do NOT remove Liora's "bind or break" or "bind-bind-bind" repetition. These are established imperfection signatures in her character profile.
*   **Metaphors:** Do NOT simplify the weaving metaphors (e.g., "pull at fate's hem"). These are specified as her sentence length pattern when reflective.
*   **Fatalism:** Do NOT make Liora sound optimistic about the outcome; her fatalism ("I'll sever every damn thread") is a core character trait.

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### 8. VERDICT

**VERDICT: REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter is atmospheric and aligns well with the majority of the RAG context. However, a revision is required because the dialogue for Thorne borrows Liora’s unique "imperfection signature" (repetition in panic), which the profile identifies as her specific voice quirk. There is also a mild clarity issue regarding the transition into the "Soul-Link" vision. Additionally, the NPC memory of the Junior Binders sketching should be more explicitly linked to the "compulsive" nature described in the database to show the spreading "Stained" influence.