### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The 440Hz vibration bloomed in Lena's vision like a bruise of blue fire, her blood threading the Siphon's gears as the salt water hissed up from the junction below."
    *   *Commentary:* Excellent sensory blending (synesthesia) that reinforces the "digital fever" mentioned in the character state.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He didn't check his HUD. He just dropped his shoulder and slammed his weight against the manual override lever, his muscles bunching under his grease-stained shirt."
    *   *Commentary:* Effective physical descriptors that align with Jax’s arc of abandoning tactical protocol for raw instinct.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Suddenly, vines began to erupt. They weren't real plants, but manifestations of the Harmonic Bleed, hijacked by her blood-oath and forced into the shape of her heritage."
    *   *Commentary:* This clearly illustrates the "70% arc" transformation where she tunes her magic to the machine's frequency.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "She felt a hand on her collar, dragging her back just as the junction box exploded in a shower of ozone and sparks."
    *   *Commentary:* The mention of "ozone" maintains environmental consistency with the metadata regarding "ozone weeping" from wires.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Lena Duval**
*   **Line:** "By the bayous's bones, you're a hungry one."
    *   **Signature Vocab/Tics:** YES. Uses the specific "by the bayou's bones" furious/stressed expression.
    *   **Forbidden Speech:** YES. Does not say "I give up" or "sorry."
    *   **Emotional Register:** YES. Hyper-focused and "predator-minded" as per Ch-08 state.
*   **Line:** "Gator's truth... The machine don't eat nothing it don't mean to kill."
    *   **Signature Vocab/Tics:** YES. Uses "Gator's truth" to state an undeniable fact.
*   **Line:** "Hold it for me, *cher*!"
    *   **Signature Vocab/Tics:** YES. Uses Cajun French endearment for Jax, whom she cares for.

**Character: Jax Harlan**
*   **Line:** "Lena, we're out of time! The salt's hitting the junctions!"
    *   **Signature Vocab/Tics:** YES. Clinical/urgent but lacks the tactical jargon of earlier chapters, showing his shift.
    *   **Forbidden Speech:** N/A (none listed).
    *   **Emotional Register:** YES. Protective instinct is solidified; he is deferent to her magical lead.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Synesthetic Imagery:** The description of the frequency as "ultraviolet light that thrummed against her retinas" (early) is a unique pillar of this 프로젝트's magic system and must remain.
*   **The Locket as a Conflict Device:** The physical manifestation of Aunt Maribelle's interference ("The locket grew hot, a branding iron against her skin") creates a tangible psychic antagonist even in her physical absence.
*   **Jax’s Tactical Abandonment:** Keeping Jax’s actions grounded in physical grit—"He didn't look at his tactical manual" (mid)—perfectly tracks his 45% arc progression.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Drowned Man’s presence was thick in the air... The salt-tithe was still unpaid."
*   **PROBLEM:** The World State Metadata for Ch-08 explicitly states "The Drowned Man (Terrebonne Siphon): SATISFIED -- Salt tithe accepted." The narrative contradicts the established state that the tithe was already paid to allow the bypass.
*   **FIX:** "The Drowned Man’s presence lingered like a fading echo—the tithe had been paid in blood, but the machine still demanded its own price in steel and sweat."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "She used him. She didn't want to, but she was a Duval, and the swamp was a bargainer. She drew from his strength... She cast the remnant of that energy into the rising dark water—a token of sweat and shared blood to keep the Drowned Man satisfied for one more hour."
*   **PROBLEM:** If the Drowned Man is already "SATISFIED" (per RAG metadata), this second tithe feels redundant and creates confusion about whether her magic actually worked or if it requires constant "re-feeding."
*   **FIX:** Clarify that this energy is used to stabilize the *Siphon’s collapse* rather than paying a debt that was already settled. "She used him... She cast the remnant of that energy into the haywire gears, a grounding wire of human grit to keep the Siphon's death-throes from taking them both down."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Mention the "Scrambler Box" from the metadata.
    *   **Quote:** "She squinted through the haze of scorched copper..." (mid)
    *   **Reason:** The metadata notes a Key Item: "Scrambler Box (CRUSHED -- used as a mechanical wedge in gears)." Adding a visual of this crushed box among the gears would enhance the "used" industrial feel of the scene.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Keep the Repetition:** "No no, not yet, no no" and "No no, too much, no no" must not be edited for "repetitiveness." This is Lena's "Imperfection signature" listed in her voice profile for when she is panicked.
*   **Keep Specific Phrases:** Do not smooth out "Gator's truth" or "By the bayou's bones." These are required verbal tics.
*   **Keep Sensory Details:** The smell of "magnolia and mud" must remain as the grounding scent detail.

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### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 82**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The prose is evocative and hits almost every voice constraint perfectly, but there is a significant continuity error regarding the "Salt Tithe" (Metadata says it is SATISFIED/UNPAID/ACCEPTED in different lines, but the narrative treats it as a primary current conflict involving the Drowned Man's presence).

**VERDICT: REVISE**