### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The blighted foothills clawed at Elara's boots with thorns that whispered promises of surrender, the Sigil on her palm throbbing like a second heartbeat as the thicket loomed ahead."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the sentient, predatory nature of the setting while grounding the reader in Elara's physical sensation of the Sigil's "heartbeat."
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He didn't speak a command; he projected a hunger."
    *   *Commentary:* This concise line beautifully illustrates Thorne’s symbiotic, non-verbal connection to the Blight without over-explaining the magic system.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "The Night-Veil—Thorne's artificial shroud of shadow—hissed as it touched the light, retreating like a wounded beast."
    *   *Commentary:* The personification of the shadow adds to the high-stakes atmosphere, though the parenthetical-style explanation of "Thorne's artificial shroud" feels slightly like an authorial intrusion.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "She focused on the Water Aspect still humming in her veins and poured it into the parched, angry earth."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides a clear mechanical link to her previous character development (harmonizing Water in previous chapters) to solve a current Earth-based obstacle.
*   **Quote 5 (Late):** "Instead, she saw faces—shadowed, distorted visages reflected in the polished stone of the arch."
    *   *Commentary:* This delivers on the "Known Secrets" prompt regarding the Council’s complicity, using the Sanctum’s properties to trigger the revelation visually.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**ELARA VANCE**
*   **Line:** "I... I flow... no, I mean falter. The current is choked with silt."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. (Mutters "by the roots," uses water metaphors.)
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** YES. (No slang or modern idioms used.)
*   **Emotional Register / Arc:** YES. (Reflects her severe spiritual exhaustion and the "erosion" of selfhood mentioned in the character state.)

**KAELEN**
*   **Line:** "Hold the center, Elara! If you lose yourself to the memories, the Veil takes us!"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. (Protective and grimly loyal; focuses on the Sunstone.)
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** YES.
*   **Emotional Register / Arc:** YES. (Acts as her anchor, mirroring his 60% arc completion as a selfless guardian.)

**THORNE BLACKROOT**
*   **Line:** "Hark, Vessel. Do you feel the Earth turning its face from you?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. (Uses "hark," "the roots remember," and "rend your bones.")
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** YES. (No admissions of doubt; remains sadistic.)
*   **Emotional Register / Arc:** YES. (Displays the "seething fury" and "sadistic" tone central to his current state.)

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Tactile Grounding:** Elara’s habit of touching her environment to gauge magic is well-maintained: "She reached out, fingers instinctively brushing the rough bark of a dying rowan tree, searching for a pulse."
*   **Kaelen’s Anchor Role:** The physical manifestation of any "anchor" (the thief’s grip) reinforces the specific relationship dynamic: "He grabbed her hand—the one with the burning Sigil—and laced his fingers through hers."
*   **Thematically Consistent Magic:** The way the Blight Reacts to Thorne’s blood/scars reinforces his "Power through decay" principle: "The veins in his neck were black traceries, conduits for the rot he commanded."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The terrain began to shift... Thorne was using the Blight to warp the earth itself, turning the transition to the Third Stage of the ritual into a deathtrap."
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the World State [Active World Events], Stage Three (Earth) is *already* initiated upon Elara's entry. The text treats it as an upcoming transition rather than an active state that Thorne is co-opting.
*   **FIX:** "Thorne was twisting the already-active Third Stage of the ritual, warping the shifting earth into a deathtrap."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Sunstone Shard, tucked into a leather pouch at his breast, threw a faint, defiant amber glow..."
*   **PROBLEM:** Per [Canon Artifacts], the Sunstone is "currently shrouded/clouded from the effort" of shattering the Night-Veil earlier. The text mentions it is a "nuisance" but doesn't acknowledge the specific clouded/dimmed physical state described in the world context.
*   **FIX:** "The Sunstone Shard, its surface still clouded and dull from its last exertion, threw a faint, defiant amber glow..."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The air here was heavy, tasting of wet ash and the copper tang of ancient resentment."
*   **PROBLEM:** "Ancient resentment" is an abstract emotion and cannot be tasted; while poetic, it clashes with the very specific physical descriptions of "wet ash" and "copper."
*   **FIX:** "The air here was heavy, tasting of wet ash and the copper tang of blood spilt on old soil."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The sound was like a thousand dry bones snapping at once."
*   **PROBLEM:** This sound occurs *before* the action. It's unclear if this is the sound of the thicket moving or the earth breaking.
*   **FIX:** "With a sound like a thousand dry bones snapping at once, the black vines began to uncoil."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Optional (Depth):** In the section where Thorne watches from above: "He ran a thumb over the fresh scars on his palm, feeling the wetness of the blood as it pooled and ebbed." This could be strengthened by explicitly mentioning the "Circle of Thorns 'Harvest'" obligation to heighten the stakes of his failure.
*   **Optional (Sensory):** When Elara sees the Council faces in the stone, mentioning the "mud and dew" she leaves behind (per character notes) would add a nice tactile detail to her collapse: "Her mud-stained clothes left a trail of grey across his leather armor, the dampness of the marsh clinging to her like a shroud."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **DO NOT** smooth over Elara's fragmented speech ("I... I flow... no, I mean falter"). This is her specific "Imperfection signature" for spiritual depletion.
*   **DO NOT** remove Thorne’s use of "Hark" or "Vessel." These are established verbal quirks and hierarchical speech patterns.
*   **DO NOT** remove the "By the roots" oath. This is her required verbal tic for resolve.
*   **DO NOT** change the repetitive water/stone metaphors. These are intentional manifestations of her Aspect Harmonization magic system.

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### 8. VERDICT

**VERDICT: REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The chapter effectively captures the voice and atmospheric requirements, but contains a significant continuity error regarding the current stage of the Ritual (Stage Three is active, not a future transition) and overlooks the "clouded" physical state of the Sunstone mentioned in the RAG context. These must be aligned with the provided project state.