### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   "The absolute silence pressed in like a physical weight, heavier than the tinnitus ringing that had finally, mercifully, faded to a dull throb in Sarah's battered skull." (Early) — This effectively establishes the sensory aftermath of the feedback loop, using the "weight" metaphor to transition from auditory to tactile horror.
*   "She reached up, her hand shaking with a fine, rhythmic tremor, and touched her right ear. Her fingers came away wet and tacky." (Early) — This visceral detail grounds the stakes by showing the physical damage Sarah sustained from her own "weapon."
*   "Elias Thorne crashed through the threshold of the hallway, his breathing ragged. He stood there for a second, framed by the darkness behind him, his flashlight trembling." (Mid) — The use of "crashed" and "trembling" successfully conveys the character’s frantic emotional state without relying on internal monologue.
*   "The memory of the 1927 occult chant data—the fragmented audio she’d secretly ripped from the server—burned in her mind." (Late) — This sentence successfully integrates an "Open Loop" from the RAG context (Ch-02 secrets) into the immediate tension of the scene.
*   "Sarah shakes her head. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small, heavy brass compass she’d taken from the Archive's hardware desk." (Late) — The shift to present tense ("shakes," "reaches") is a jarring inconsistency with the past-tense narration established in the rest of the chapter.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Sarah Miller**
*   **Quote:** "Wh-what the actual fuck is left of you?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary / Tics:** YES. Uses the "Get a grip" and "what the actual fuck" furious register from her profile.
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES. Avoids flowery supernatural affirmations.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. Hyper-focused and analytical despite the trauma; she immediately pivots back to "Empirically speaking... the surge... it worked."

**Elias Thorne**
*   **Quote (Spoken):** "Why... didn't... you... tell... me?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary / Tics:** N/A (Dialogue is stunted due to her hearing loss/circumstances).
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. Intensely protective and vindicated ("THE SIGNAL ISN’T INTERFERENCE. IT’S BIOLOGICAL").

**Mark**
*   **Note:** Mark is noted as present in the world state (Location: Living Room), but he does not speak or appear in this chapter. This is consistent with his 05% arc progress and "shocked/silent" state.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Tactile Horror:** The sensation of the signal through Elias’s pulse ("Elias froze. The relief in his face was instantly tempered by a look of clinical horror... a low-frequency oscillation that felt like a sub-bass hum") is a powerful manifestation of the "biological sentient signal" theory.
*   **Sensory Limitation:** The use of the notebook for communication ("HELD IT UP: ARE YOU DEAF?") adds a layer of isolation and desperation to the interaction that heightens the tension.
*   **Atmospheric Consistency:** The "scent of ozone, scorched copper, and sulfur" from the World State is effectively woven into the prose ("The hallway smelled of scorched electronics and ozone, underscored by a thick, cloying scent of sulfur").

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Sarah shakes her head. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small, heavy brass compass she’d taken from the Archive's hardware desk."
*   **PROBLEM:** Tense shift. The entire chapter is written in past tense ("silence pressed," "Sarah sat," "Elias crashed") until this paragraph, which abruptly shifts to present tense.
*   **FIX:** "Sarah shook her head. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, heavy brass compass she’d taken from the Archive's hardware desk."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "At first, Sarah felt nothing but his warmth. Then, a rhythmic thrumming began to seep into her skin. It wasn't just a heartbeat. There was a secondary cadence, a low-frequency oscillation that felt like a sub-bass hum. 14Hz."
*   **PROBLEM:** It is physically impossible for a human to accurately identify "14Hz" specifically by touch alone, especially while suffering from severe tinnitus and neurological shock. While Sarah is analytical, stating the number as a definitive fact here feels like an authorial intrusion rather than a character observation.
*   **FIX:** "There was a secondary cadence, a low-frequency oscillation that felt like a sub-bass hum. It was the same rhythm as the Whispers—the 14Hz ghost she’d been chasing in the archives."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Scene Observation (Sarah's Ear):** "Her fingers came away wet and tacky." 
*   **REASON:** Since Sarah is hyper-focused on data, having her mentally categorize the blood as a "biological cost" or noting the specific ear affected (due to the unilateral/bilateral tinnitus state in RAG) would deepen her voice.
*   **Scene Observation (The Compass):** "The needle wasn't pointing North. It was spinning in a slow, hypnotic circle..."
*   **REASON:** Linking this specifically to the "Electronic Dead Zone" mentioned in World State would clarify if this is magnetic interference from the fried house or the Presence.

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "fix" Sarah's stammering:** "Wh-what the actual fuck" and "Th-this frequency..." are established imperfection signatures in her voice profile.
*   **Do not eliminate the sulfur smell:** Even though sulfur is a trope, it is an "Environmental Constant" for this world state and must remain.
*   **Do not make Sarah "nicer":** Her clinical detachment ("Empirically speaking... the surge... it worked") even while bleeding is her core character trait.

### 8. VERDICT
**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82/100**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The chapter is atmospheric and adheres well to character profiles and world-state obligations. However, a jarring tense-shift in the final scenes (Past to Present) and a minor clarity issue regarding Sarah’s "magical" ability to identify a 14Hz frequency by touch require correction.