### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Early:** "Cold sweat beaded on Lena’s skin like dew on cypress leaves, the fever shattering as the Belly of the Bend claimed her fully—Jax’s rough hand steady on her elbow, his breath ragged in the ozone-thick air."
    *   This opening successfully blends the sensory physical state of the protagonist with the atmospheric supernatural transition.
*   **Mid:** "She pricked the center of her throbbing palm with a jagged edge of limestone. 'Mist of the marrow, breath of the bone,' she began, the words clipped and rhythmic, a chant that seemed to rise from the floor itself."
    *   This passage effectively mirrors the "clipped and rhythmic" sentence pattern specified in Lena's voice signature during magic use.
*   **Late:** "The limestone gave way to soft mud and the tangled, protective embrace of cypress knees. Lena felt a profound sense of rightness, a resonance that smoothed the jagged edges of her tired soul."
    *   This illustrates the character arc's progress (95%), showing her acceptance of the land’s Warden role over her previous desire to escape.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Lena Duval**
*   **Quote:** "Gator's truth, I’m not going anywhere fast."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES ("Gator's truth," "cher," "mon coeur").
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** YES (She does not apologize; her "no no" repetition during the vision reflects her "imperfection signature" for panic).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Weary but transcendent, echoing her ch-11 state).

**Jax Harlan**
*   **Quote:** "I’m bound to making sure we don’t end up in a TDC interrogation room."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Uses grounded, cynical military/pilot terminology like "red-lining" and "sidearm").
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** YES (No specific prohibitions in RAG; stays in his "brooding outsider" lane).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Fiercely protective and crashing from adrenaline).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Physical Grounding:** The use of tactile sensations to anchor Lena’s magic is a core character trait. Preserve: "Lena reached out, her fingers trailing over a patch of slick, bioluminescent moss... The touch grounded her."
*   **The Siphon/Harmonic Bleed Hook:** The revelation of the TDC’s true goal adds necessary stakes to the "Machine-Witch" transition. Preserve: "The Siphon’s true purpose was a 'Harmonic Bleed' for the upper districts."
*   **Ending Tension:** The arrival of Aunt Maribelle utilizes the established world state (Coven is "VIGILANT") to create a strong cliffhanger.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Jax looked at her, his expression a fractured mask of concern and something approaching dread. 'That light in your eyes, Lena. Back there at the siphon… that wasn’t just magic. You looked like you were part of the circuit.'"
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the RAG Context (Known Secrets), Jax is supposed to remain "unaware" of the Siphon's true purpose (Harmonic Bleed). While he saw the ritual, he explicitly shouldn't understand the "circuit" or the "bleed" until Lena explains it. Lena then immediately explains the Harmonic Bleed, but Jax’s dialogue here implies he already understands the mechanical/supernatural synthesis too clearly.
*   **FIX:** Soften Jax's observation to focus on her physical state rather than the "circuitry."
    *   *Revised:* "Jax looked at her... 'That light in your eyes, Lena. Back there at the siphon... you looked like you were being erased. Like the machine was eating you.'"

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The limestone gave way to soft mud... She was 95% gone, no longer the girl who dreamt of city lights, but the woman who spoke for the water."
*   **PROBLEM:** The phrase "95% gone" is an authorial/meta-note from the Character State RAG ("Arc: 95%") that has bled into the narrative prose. It breaks immersion by using a mathematical percentage to describe her internal soul-state.
*   **FIX:** Replace the percentage with a narrative description of her near-total transformation.
    *   *Revised:* "She was almost entirely consumed by the land now, the girl who dreamt of city lights a fading ghost beneath the skin of the woman who spoke for the water."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Scent Reinforcement:** (Optional) The RAG notes that writers often forget her scent of magnolia and mud. While the magnolia is mentioned in the fog, reinforcing the scent on Lena herself would strengthen her "Permanent" state.
    *   *Quote:* "She was shivering with cold sweats..."
    *   *Suggestion:* Add that the sweat smells of the bayou (magnolia/mud) despite being in a limestone cavern.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do NOT remove "Gator's truth":** Even if it feels repetitive, it is her established verbal tic for stating nature’s facts.
*   **Do NOT "fix" the repetition:** In the passage "no no, not that, no no," this is her "imperfection signature" for panic. It must remain as-is.
*   **Do NOT smooth out the French endearments:** Use of "cher" and "mon coeur" is restricted to those she loves; its use with Jax and the memory of her mother is intentional.

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### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The chapter is tonally excellent and follows the Voice Signature requirements perfectly. However, it contains two "MUST-FIX" items: one meta-commentary leak ("95% gone") and a minor continuity slip regarding Jax’s awareness of the Machine-Witch mechanics that needs to be more clearly framed as a revelation rather than a shared observation.