### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
"The beam from Lena's dying flashlight sliced through the attic dust, catching motes that swirled like spectral insects, while the whisper—her dead sister's voice—cooed her name from the shadows." (Early)
*This opening effectively establishes the gothic atmosphere and immediate supernatural threat through sharp sensory detail.*

"The static smoothed out into a low, melodic hum. A new voice slid into the frequency, overlapping Rhys’s muffled shouts. It was a child’s voice, high and reedy. 'The dark is where the mouth is, Lena. Open wide.'" (Mid)
*The transition from technical interference to supernatural manifestation is handled well, heightening the tension.*

"The walls weren't stone. They were covered in photographs... Each photo was pierced with a rusted needle." (Late)
*This punchy, short-sentence delivery emphasizes the horrific discovery of the "marrow-room" without overwriting the moment.*

"Instead, the edges of the cut were turning black, the skin puckering as if something were burrowing beneath it." (Late)
*The use of body horror here provides a visceral "sting" to the ending, suggesting the threat is now internal.*

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT
*Note: The provided Context (ch-01) lists Elias, Sarah, and The Curator. Lena and Rhys appear to be the focal characters for Chapter 4. However, Sarah Miller is listed in the Context.*

**Character: Sarah Miller (The Voice/Whisper)**
*   Line: "Lena... look at us, Lena."
*   Signature Vocabulary/Tics: NO (Context describes her as "skeptical" and "exhausted" with "audio-feedback headaches," but here she is a spectral entity/memory).
*   Avoid Forbidden Patterns: YES.
*   Emotional Register Consistent: NO (In Ch-01, she is "deeply unsettled" and "skeptical." Here, her "voice" is cooing and predatory).
*   *Observation:* While this matches the horror genre's evolution of a deceased/possessed character, there is a lack of continuity between "Sarah Miller" in the Archive (Sub-Level 4) and "Sarah" the dead sister in the attic.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The "Techno-Horror" Integration:** The way the cellular phone becomes a conduit for the haunting is excellent. 
    *   *Quote:* "the voices continued to pour out of the broken glass, filling the attic."
*   **The Family Legacy/Journal:** The excerpt from Silas’s journal provides grounded lore that explains the "why" behind the haunting.
    *   *Quote:* "The bargain is not a debt of coin, but of breath... We invited it in to save the mill, but we forgot that a shadow has no exit."
*   **Localized Dread:** The description of the house's physical transformation creates a claustrophobic effect.
    *   *Quote:* "The wallpaper... was peeling back in long, wet strips, revealing dark, pulsating veins in the plaster beneath."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** All dialogue by Lena and the entities in the house.
*   **PROBLEM:** The Project Context explicitly defines "The Awakening Signal" as localized within the **Oakhaven city limits** and centered around **The Archive, Sub-Level 4**. This chapter introduces a protagonist (Lena), an antagonist (The Whisperer), and a setting (an old house/mill family) that are entirely unmentioned in the established Character States or World State.
*   **FIX:** Either integrate Lena and Rhys into the Oakhaven "Archive" context (e.g., Lena is a relative of Elias Thorne or a researcher at Oakhaven) or explicitly reference that these events are the "Awakening Signal" affecting the broader city as mentioned in the World State. 

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Go to hell, Sarah," Lena snapped. 
*   **PROBLEM:** In the Character State, Sarah Miller is alive, at the Archive, Sub-Level 4, and physically "exhausted" but not dead. This chapter describes her as Lena's "dead sister" who "tied the noose."
*   **FIX:** If this is the same Sarah Miller, her death must be explained as a time jump or a hallucination. If it is a different Sarah, the name must be changed to avoid confusion with a primary protagonist.

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The attic door—the heavy oak slab she’d left propped open—slammed shut... She yanked the handle. It didn't budge."
*   **PROBLEM:** The text says she left the door "propped open," implying an object was used to hold it. When it slams, there is no mention of the prop being crushed or moved, and "yanking the handle" on a door that was propped open suggests a mechanical latch transition that isn't described.
*   **FIX:** "The attic door... kicked the doorstop aside and slammed shut..."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **OPTIONAL:** The transition from the phone call to the entity manifestation is very fast.
    *   *Quote:* "She threw the phone... The attic door... slammed shut."
    *   *Rationale:* Briefly describing the sound of Rhys's reaction to her scream before she throws the phone would increase the emotional stakes of her isolation.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **The Fragmented Dialogue:** Do not change the static-interrupted dialogue ("L—na? S—nd—..."). This is a genre staple and works to heighten the technology-failure trope.
*   **Lena's Profanity:** Her use of "Shut the fuck up" and "old bastard" establishes her as a defiant, non-traditional horror protagonist rather than a passive victim. This should be preserved.

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### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 72**
**JUSTIFICATION:** While the prose is atmospheric and the horror beats are well-executed, there is a catastrophic continuity break between the provided project context (where Sarah Miller is an alive, skeptical researcher in an archive) and this chapter (where Sarah is a dead sister who committed suicide). This requires a fundamental reconciliation of the character roles.