### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The silver shards glittered on the floor like fallen stars, Liora's blood dripping onto them in thick indigo-laced drops, her left hand trembling as the Loom groaned its final protest."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the tactile and visual stakes of the chapter by blending the mechanical "groan" with the visceral "indigo-laced drops."
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "At the edges of her vision, the world began to soften into gray static. The tapestries on the far wall seemed to unravel into meaningless wool, and the air itself felt thin, as if the thread of her own consciousness was being pulled through too small a needle."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage excellently conveys the "frayback" symptom through character-specific metaphors that reinforce the world-building.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "She began to braid her own hair with her free hand, a frantic, unconscious rhythm as she tried to visualize the threads."
    *   *Commentary:* This grounding physical action aligns perfectly with the character’s established nervous habit while heightening the tension of the ritual.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "She had failed the formal binding... But she had done something else. She had stitched herself to him in a way the Loom never could."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides a strong narrative pivot, indicating that while the plot goal failed, the character arc has progressed into more dangerous territory.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it'll unravel us both."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics (YES):** She uses the signature phrase "bind or break" and the repetitive "bind-bind-bind" when panicked.
*   **Forbidden Speech (YES):** She avoids optimism and dismissive phrases like "Fate will decide."
*   **Emotional Register (YES):** Her clipped, technical commands reflect her "dogmatic identity" being challenged by "violation and desperation."

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "Is this the limit of your theology, Binder?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics (YES):** His voice is described as a "resonant hum," echoing his role as a source of resonance.
*   **Forbidden Speech (YES):** None listed in profile, but his tone is "grimly amused," matching his ch-02 state.
*   **Emotional Register (YES):** He successfully transitions from mocking to "heavy with a strange kind of pity," aligning with his 12% arc progression toward recognizing Liora's danger to herself.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Sensory Manifestation of the Weave:** The description of the Thirteenth Strand ("It was a roar. A singularity of silver-repelling force") makes the abstract magic feel physically dangerous.
*   **The "Frayback" Mechanics:** The visual of "meaningless wool" and "gray static" (Early/Mid) provides a consistent, high-stakes consequence for the protagonist's magic use.
*   **Liora’s Nervous Habits:** Her "braiding her own hair" and "snapping an invisible thread" (Late) are excellent non-verbal cues for her mental state that should not be polished away.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Elder Maros... watched with a predatory satisfaction, his eyes fixed... on the way Liora’s blood mingled with Thorne’s resonance." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** Perspective break. Liora is the POV character and is currently suffering from "frayback," which is described as a "wall of static" that makes the world "soften into gray static." She should not be able to perceive the specific "predatory satisfaction" or the direction of the gaze of someone far away in a balcony during a sensory-shattering explosion.
*   **FIX:** Describe the *sound* of Maros or the *presence* of him in the gallery as a looming shadow, keeping the focus on Liora's distorted perception. "High above, a shadow remained unmoved, a cold weight in the gallery that didn't lift even as the world turned to static."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The screening is... inconclusive," Liora whispered, though there was no one left to hear but the prisoner. (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** This creates a logic gap. Liora previously noted she "owes the Conclave a successful binding." Declaring it "inconclusive" feels like a technical report, but she has just committed a taboo "dirty" blood-binding. It’s unclear if she is lying to herself or attempting to maintain protocol.
*   **FIX:** "The binding... it’s not finished," Liora whispered, her voice a ragged defense against the failure.

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Clarify the physical distance between Liora and the silver shards during the explosion. 
*   **Quote:** "The silver shards on the floor began to hum. They were contaminated now..." (Late)
*   **Reason:** Adding a brief mention of the shards vibrating *away* from Thorne would reinforce the "repelling force" mentioned earlier.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not removal the repetition:** "Bind-bind-bind it now" is a specific panic index for Liora and must remain.
*   **Do not soften the fatalism:** Liora's lack of optimism or "hopeful" dialogue is intentional and core to her voice signature.
*   **Do not clarify the "Indigo Dye":** The blending of physical dye and metaphysical essence is a world-building choice that adds to the "dirty binding" aesthetic.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter has strong prose and adheres perfectly to character voices, but contains a significant POV/Continuity break regarding what the protagonist can see while suffering from "static wall" sensory failure.