This is Lane. I’ve tuned the rhythm of this chapter against the character signatures provided. The sensory density is high, but we have some mechanical grinding in the dialogue that needs oiling to meet the "No Contractions" mandate for the royals.

### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **"Seraphine’s palm was a brand against mine, her skin no longer the grey of a corpse but the flushed, terrifying heat of a predator who had just finished a kill."** (Early) — Excellent use of sensory inversion, moving from the expected "cold" of a vampire to the metabolic heat of the bond.
*   **"The scent of metallic incense—cloying and sharp, like rusted nails dipped in lavender—choked the air."** (Early) — This is a top-tier noun-heavy description that anchors the Cathedral’s presence without leaning on weak adjectives.
*   **"Opposite me, Seraphine sat on the very edge of the bench, her posture so rigid she appeared carved from the darkness itself."** (Mid) — Perfectly captures her "Stillness" and architectural metaphors through staging.
*   **"It didn't just kill; it simplified. It turned wood to ash and bone to dust, leaving nothing behind but a hollow silence."** (Mid) — The rhythm here is punchy and philosophical, defining the stakes of the Blight with economy.
*   **"I watched the silver frost of my own slow death map its way across her skin..."** (Late) — A hauntingly clear image of the shared burden that anchors the chapter's emotional arc.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**High Priestess Malcorra**
*   **Line:** "Two rivers, one sea. You must not mistake this providence for preference, King Aldric."
*   **Signature Tics/Vocab (YES):** Uses "providence," "component," and "structural necessity."
*   **Forbidden Patterns (YES):** Avoids "I think/In my opinion."
*   **Emotional Register (YES):** Remains vindicated and liturgical.

**King Aldric**
*   **Line:** "I'm aware of my utility, Priestess," I said.
*   **Signature Tics/Vocab (YES):** Focuses on "utility" and "foundation."
*   **Forbidden Patterns (NO):** Uses contraction **"I'm"**. Profile explicitly states: "His speech is entirely devoid of contractions... unless he is experiencing a moment of rare, raw vulnerability." This opening beat does not yet qualify as "raw vulnerability."
*   **Emotional Register (YES):** Resolute and analytical.

**Queen Seraphine**
*   **Line:** "The theological dampening is unnecessary, Malcorra."
*   **Signature Tics/Vocab (YES):** Uses "dampening," "bracing," and "structural failure."
*   **Forbidden Patterns (NO):** Uses contraction **"doesn't"** and **"wouldn't"** in later internal/external beats (see Must-Fix). Profile states: "She avoids contractions entirely."
*   **Emotional Register (YES):** Predatory and calculating.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Aldric’s Physical Tell:** The unconscious twisting of the signet ring: *"though my right hand... unconsciously twisted the signet ring on my finger."* This must stay to maintain his voice profile.
*   **The Glass-Curse Transmission:** The physical description of the frost moving between them is the visceral high point: *"The frost crawled from my thumb to her palm. It moved like a living thing, a slow-motion explosion of salt and diamond."*

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "I'm aware of my utility, Priestess," I said.
*   **PROBLEM:** Aldric violates his "No Contractions" rule during a standard formal interaction.
*   **FIX:** "I am aware of my utility, Priestess."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "It didn't just kill; it simplified." (Narrative/Internal Voice)
*   **PROBLEM:** While Aldric is the POV, he is an analytical, formal King. If his spoken dialogue is devoid of contractions, his internal monologue should mirror that "tempered steel" rhythm to maintain character integrity.
*   **FIX:** "It did not just kill; it simplified."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The crimson light flared... it struck the fog and began to weave—thick, glowing threads of Valerius blood-magic lashing out to stitch the air back together."
*   **PROBLEM:** The transition from the "weaving" metaphor to the physical surge of the "Blight" is slightly muddied. It’s unclear if the "stitch" is successful before the surge hits.
*   **FIX:** "The crimson light flared, striking the fog. Thick, glowing threads of Valerius blood-magic lashed out, stitching the air closed—until the weight of the void shifted."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Quote:** "Inside," Seraphine commanded.
*   **Suggestion:** For a character who uses long, periodic sentences to assert power, adding a technical qualifier makes her more distinct. 
*   **Suggested Change:** "The carriage is secure. Enter." (Rationale: Aligns with her focus on "security" and "leverage" over simple commands).

*   **Quote:** "The air here was foul, tasting of old copper and burnt hair."
*   **Suggestion:** Strengthen the noun "hair" to something more evocative of the Blight's necrotic nature.
*   **Suggested Change:** "The air here was foul, tasting of old copper and scorched marrow."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "smooth out" Seraphine’s coldness.** Her lack of pity is a core trait: *"not pity, Seraphine was incapable of it"*.
*   **Do not remove Malcorra's "tuning" habit.** Her fingers rubbing together is her primary imperfection signature and must remain.
*   **Do not soften the technical language.** Words like "circuit," "architecture," and "component" are essential to the AI-native/Vampire-Industrial aesthetic established in the character sheets.

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### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The prose is atmospherically superior, but the royal "No Contractions" rule was violated multiple times (Aldric: "I'm", "didn't", "don't" / Seraphine: "doesn't"). These are critical voice-integrity markers that must be standardized before the chapter passes.