### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The spindle was a massive, fluted pillar of iron-wood and brass, usually singing a high, rhythmic soprano of industry. Now, it groaned—a guttural, dragging sound as if the very concept of time was grinding to a halt within its gears."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the stakes by personifying the machinery through a shift from musicality to mechanical agony.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "Liora’s head snapped back, her spine arching. The sensation was agonizing—like molten lead being poured through her veins—but underneath the pain was a terrifying, addictive clarity."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage successfully balances the physical toll of the "Dirty Circuit" with the psychological payoff of the "Stainer" heresy.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The Loom groaned—a low, satisfied sound, like a beast that had finally been fed its preferred meat."
    *   *Commentary:* This reinforces the chapter’s theme of the Loom's transition from a tool of the Conclave to a predatory, sentient entity fueled by corruption.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Line:** "This knot's tightening, and I won't have your incompetence pulling the threads."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES**. Uses the specific "This knot's tightening" phrase mandated by her stress expression scale.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** **YES**. She does not express optimism or say "Fate will decide."
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES**. Displays the "clinical detachment" and "clipped commands" noted in the [character-state].

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Line:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it'll unravel us both." (Mocking Liora's own voice).
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES**. He intentionally mimics Liora’s specific signature line from her profile to taunt her.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** **YES/NA**. He remains "predatory and observant."
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES**. Consistent with his 20% arc shift from "passive prisoner" to "manipulator."

**Elder Maros**
*   **Line:** "The safety dampeners are red-lined, Liora! We cannot stabilize through traditional weaving. Use the grounding rod!"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES**. Uses pragmatic, technical terminology consistent with his "Opportunist" faction.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** **YES**.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES**. Reflects his status as "pragmatically opportunistic" regarding the use of heresy.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Shared Sensory Bleed:** The moment where Liora feels Thorne's internal state—"I felt the phantom pressure of his amusement against her ribs" (Mid)—is vital to the "Dirty Circuit" mechanics established in the RAG.
*   **Liora’s Tactile Habit:** The closing action where "Liora reached up, her fingers unthinkingly beginning to braid a lock of her hair" (Late) perfectly aligns with the physical habit noted in her character sheet for when she is deep in thought or deception.
*   **Mechanical Soul-Binding Imagery:** The description of the loop—"It flowed from the drive-spindle, into Liora, through the link into Thorne, and back out through his skin..." (Mid)—clearly illustrates the "Dirty Circuit" world event.

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Through his eyes, she saw herself: a crumpled heap of indigo robes and desperation..." (Early)
*   **PROBLEM:** POV/Logic Break. Thorne is "strapped to the lead-lined restraint chair" (stated in early chapter and RAG). If he is strapped to the chair, his "eyes" should be facing Liora, but Liora is leaning against the spindle "near the primary drive-spindle." Depending on chamber layout, if she is slumped against the central pillar, seeing herself through his eyes suggests a specific positioning that feels slightly disconnected from her "slumping" against a spindle earlier in the paragraph.
*   **FIX:** Clarify that his head is forced up or the chair faces the spindle: "Through his eyes, fixed toward the central pillar, she saw herself..."
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Archival Guards surged forward, masks snapping down over their faces to filter the spiritual radiation." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** Character/World Interaction. The RAG Context lists Archival Guards as "HOSTILE" and "prepared to terminate." However, they never actually engage despite Maros only yelling "Halt" *after* they already surged.
*   **FIX:** Ensure the guards' hesitation is explicitly linked to their fear of the contagion: "The Archival Guards surged forward, masks snapping down, but hesitated at the edge of the indigo flare, their glaives vibrating in sympathy with the dead-tone."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "His ink-stained hand twitched, a sudden, deliberate movement toward freedom in the chair, even as the heavy chains were snapped around his wrists." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** Confusion regarding physical status. The RAG says his active obligation to be a grounding rod is "PAID," but the text implies he is still being "unbuckled" then "chains were snapped." It is unclear if he is actually free or being moved.
*   **FIX:** "His ink-stained hand twitched—a ghost of a weaving gesture—even as the guards replaced his chair-restraints with heavy manacles for transport."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the "Terminus Frequency" effect. 
*   **Quote:** "One of them began to vomit a thin, grey bile." (Late)
*   **Reasoning:** Since the RAG specifies this frequency affects *all non-binders*, adding a brief mention of the Archival Guards' masks muffling their own discomfort would heighten the world-building regarding spiritual radiation.

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Liora’s Fatalism:** Do not soften her dialogue to the Junior Binders. Her threat to "bind your tongues to your teeth" is a signature of her "clipped commands" and "furious" stress level.
*   **Repetitive Whispering:** The phrase "bind-bind-bind it now" (Late) must remain as it is her "imperfection signature" for panic/overwhelming situations.
*   **Maros’s Coldness:** Do not make Maros more sympathetic. His "terrifying hunger" for the stabilized spindle is a key part of his arc toward using heresy for power.

### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** While the prose and character voices are exceptionally well-aligned with the RAG (particularly Liora's voice signatures and the "Dirty Circuit" concept), there are minor logic/clarity issues regarding Thorne's physical restraints and the mechanics of the "Thirteenth Strand" revelation at the very end which need tighter blocking to ensure the reader understands whether Thorne is actually resisting his capture or merely psychically taunting Liora.