### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   "The spindle was a massive, fluted pillar of iron-wood and brass, usually singing a high, rhythmic soprano of industry. Now, it groaned—a guttural, dragging sound as if the very concept of time was grinding to a halt within its gears." (Early)
    *   **Commentary:** This effectively establishes the mechanical-spiritual stakes by personifying the Loom through auditory shifts from "soprano" to "guttural."
*   "She was a walking spiritual catastrophe, a blight on the sanctity of their craft. They didn't understand that the 'sanctity' they worshipped was a rotting corpse." (Mid)
    *   **Commentary:** This internal monologue efficiently characterizes Liora’s cynical worldview and her detachment from the Conclave's orthodoxy.
*   "The Dirty Circuit snapped into place. It was a bypass—a theological infection turned into a functional bridge." (Mid)
    *   **Commentary:** This sentence provides a sharp, punchy definition of the chapter's core technical conceit, grounding the "magic" in tangible, industrial terms.
*   "He looked like the man who had just handed her the key to her own damnation." (Late)
    *   **Commentary:** This closing imagery perfectly encapsulates the shift in power dynamics between Thorne and Liora, reinforcing the "Dirty Circuit" as a moral trap.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** "This knot's tightening, and I won't have your incompetence pulling the threads. Work, or I’ll bind your tongues to your teeth."
*   **Signature Vocabulary / Tics?** YES. Uses "This knot's tightening" (Upset scale) and weaving imagery ("pulling the threads").
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech?** YES. Does not say "Fate will decide" or show optimism.
*   **Emotional Register Consistent?** YES. She is at 20% arc, embracing the heresy out of necessity while maintaining clipped, clinical commands.

**Character: Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak... Watch the weave, Liora. Or let me watch it for you."
*   **Signature Vocabulary / Tics?** YES. Uses predatory/observant tone and mimics Liora's metaphors to mock her.
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech?** YES. No forbidden patterns listed in profile.
*   **Emotional Register Consistent?** YES. Acts as an active manipulator/participant in the soul-link.

**Character: Elder Maros**
*   **Quote:** "Functional... The Dirty Circuit holds. You've done well, Liora. The Conclave... some of them will call for your head. But they cannot deny the output."
*   **Signature Vocabulary / Tics?** YES. Pragmatic vocabulary ("Functional", "output").
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech?** YES.
*   **Emotional Register Consistent?** YES. Calculating and opportunistic regarding the use of "Stain" as a bypass.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The "Dirty Circuit" Mechanics:** The visceral description of the loop ("Instead of the Loom’s energy flowing through Liora and into the void, it looped") is a highlight that must remain to anchor the hard magic system.
*   **Liora's Tactile Fidgets:** The moment she "unthinkingly beginning to braid a lock of her hair" (Late) aligns perfectly with her physical habit profile and should be maintained as a "tell" for her internal state.
*   **Thorne's Mental Intrusion:** The dialogue delivered via "the marrow of her own bones" (Mid) effectively establishes the sensory bleed and the predatory nature of his character.

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Thorne’s voice didn't come from the chair. It came from inside the marrow of her own bones... *You’re trying to stitch a shroud with a broken needle,* he projected." (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** In the Character State (ch-03), Thorne's active obligation to act as a grounding rod is marked as "PAID," but the narrative shows the circuit hasn't fully engaged yet. More importantly, the world state says Thorne "shifted from a passive prisoner to an active participant." Having him project perfectly formed metaphors *before* the link is fully stabilized by her touch slightly jumps the gun on the "Thirteenth Strand" reveal.
*   **FIX:** Soften his first mental projection to be more fragmented until the physical contact is made.
    *   *Revised:* "Thorne’s presence was a jagged thrum in the marrow of her bones. *...Broken needle...* the thought wasn't hers. It was a leak, raw and unformed, bypassing the chair's dampeners."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Terminus Frequency—the local vibration of the Loom's decay—spiked... the frequency induced a sudden, violent nausea. One of them began to vomit a thin, grey bile." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** The text mentions Archival Guards snapping down masks to "filter the spiritual radiation," but it’s unclear if the nausea is purely spiritual or acoustic/vibration-based.
*   **FIX:** Clarify the physical nature of the frequency.
    *   *Revised:* "The Terminus Frequency spiked, a sub-sonic vibration that bypassed the ears to rattle the organs directly. Below, the Junior Binders collapsed... The Archival Guards surged forward, their pressure-sealed masks engaging to filter the ionized air and damp the spiritual resonance."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the "sepia-mottled" vision during the peak of the ritual to show the ink's influence more clearly.
    *   *Reference:* "The world vanished in a scream of color... a blinding, violent indigo." (Mid)
    *   *Reason:* It would emphasize Liora's "Stainer" status if the ink actually clears her vision, providing a "forbidden" incentive to use the power.

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **DO NOT** smooth over Liora's obsessive repetition of "bind-bind-bind it now." This is her "Imperfection signature" during panic and must be preserved.
*   **DO NOT** make Maros more sympathetic. His "terrifying hunger" for the output at the expense of Liora's soul-fray is a key part of his "Opportunist" profile.
*   **DO NOT** remove the smell of lanolin and indigo dye; this is her specific sensory signature.

### 8. VERDICT
**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter is tonally resonant and adheres strictly to character voice signatures (specifically Liora's "knot" metaphors and Maros's pragmatism). However, the continuity regarding the onset of the sensory bleed and the clarity of the "Terminus Frequency" effects require minor adjustments to align perfectly with the established World State and maintain mechanical logic.