### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The silver locket thrummed against her chest like a trapped hornet, its mechanical hum drowning out the faint croak of frogs beyond the safehouse walls."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the central conflict of "Industrial Resonance" versus nature by contrasting the hornet/hum with the croaking frogs.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "She traced the rough texture, trying to find the slow, ancient pulse of the earth, but it was faint, smothered by the whine in her chest."
    *   *Commentary:* This reinforces Lena's "reach" (tactile grounding) as defined in her character sheet, showing her struggle to connect with magic through physical touch.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "The Terrebonne folks, they aren't just building condos, Jax. They’re leeches. They found the ley lines—the veins of the Bend where the power sits thickest—and they’re fracking them."
    *   *Commentary:* This uses a poignant metaphor to explain the high-concept magical "fracking," making a complex world-state element immediately understandable to the reader.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The rain was starting to fall, a greasy, slick drizzle that coated the world in a reflective sheen."
    *   *Commentary:* The word "greasy" perfectly aligns with the industrial horror mood, suggesting a world contaminated by the project.
*   **Quote 5 (Late):** "As they slipped into the rain-slick streets, Maribelle's voice warps into a mechanical growl through the locket..."
    *   *Commentary:* This ending line successfully merges the psychic threat (Maribelle) with the technological threat (mechanical growl), heightening the immediate stakes.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Lena Duval**
*   **Line:** "Gator's truth, Jax—the land has a heartbeat."
*   **Signature Tics/Vocab?** YES. Uses "Gator's truth" as per the voice signature requirement.
*   **Avoids Forbidden Patterns?** YES. She does not apologize or say "I give up."
*   **Emotional Register Consistent?** YES. At 50% arc, she is beginning to understand that the "static" is actually a tuning issue with the new industrial pulse.

**Character: Jax Harlan**
*   **Line:** "I’m not moving you another inch until you tell me what ‘Project Phlegethon’ is."
*   **Signature Tics/Vocab?** YES. Uses "Duval" (last name) to maintain his protective yet professional distance.
*   **Avoids Forbidden Patterns?** YES.
*   **Emotional Register Consistent?** YES. At 25% arc, he is transitioning from a hire to a "vested investigator," evidenced by his demand for the truth rather than just following orders.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Sensory Grounding:** The use of tactile sensations to denote Lena's magic.
    *   *Reference:* "She found a small, dried patch of moss... She traced the rough texture."
*   **The Locket as a Beacon:** The shifting nature of the locket from a sentimental item to a mechanical threat.
    *   *Reference:* "Now it’s a tuning fork for their machines."
*   **Consistent Dialect/Flavor:** The subtle use of Cajun French endearments to signal warmth in a high-tension scene.
    *   *Reference:* "Jax, mon coeur..."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Every rebar rod in the foundation, every copper wire in the walls, seemed to be screaming at the same pitch as the locket."
*   **PROBLEM:** This occurs in the safehouse *basement* (per the Context: Location), yet the character logic later discusses "boarded-up windows" and "slivers of streetlamp light." Typical basements in the Lower Ninth Ward are rare or raised due to the water table/flood zones.
*   **FIX:** Emphasize that the "safehouse" is a raised structure or garden-level, or clarify if the basement is a cellar. *Correction:* "Every rebar rod in the foundation... screamed as the streetlamp light bled through the high, narrow basement slats."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Lena reached out, her fingers searching for something—anything—natural. She found a small, dried patch of moss clinging to a decorative piece of driftwood on the table."
*   **PROBLEM:** Lena’s thumb is currently bleeding from a self-inflicted ritual prick (per ch-06 Character State: Physical). The narrative mentions her pricking her palm later in this chapter, which is redundant or ignores the existing injury.
*   **FIX:** Acknowledge the existing wound. "She pressed her already-bleeding thumb against a patch of dried moss..."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The 'Urban Wall'—that thick layer of human industry she usually used to drown out the overwhelming voices of the swamp—had turned into a sounding board."
*   **PROBLEM:** This is a complex internal concept that contradicts the "Frequency Shift" logic slightly. If the wall "drowns out" the swamp, how does it now act as a "sounding board"?
*   **FIX:** Clarify the reversal. "The Urban Wall... had been subverted; the very concrete that once muffled the swamp now acted as an amplifier for the project's mechanical scream."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Optional Suggestion:** Increase the visceral reaction to the silver turning hot.
*   **Quote:** "...the silver turning hot against her skin."
*   **Upside:** Since Lena "reaches" for tactile grounding, the betrayal of her locket (burning her) would emphasize her isolation from the tools she usually trusts.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **DO NOT** fix the repetitive phrasing: "no, no, not that, no no." This is a defined "imperfection signature" for Lena when she is panicked.
*   **DO NOT** remove "Hellfire" or "Gator's truth." These are mandatory verbal anchors for her stress and certainty.
*   **DO NOT** "smooth out" Jax's dialogue. He is intended to be clipped and adrenaline-fueled in this chapter.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the voice and atmosphere exceptionally well, but contains two continuity errors regarding the location's physical properties (basement vs. street-level windows) and the status of Lena’s previously established hand injury. Standardizing the state of her "ritual prick" and the safehouse's architectural layout is required for a Pass.