### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The last crimson wisps of the Binding Ritual had scarcely guttered out upon the stone walls before Damien Blackthorn turned the full force of his attention upon her..."
    *   *Commentary:* Effectively establishes the immediate transition from the public ceremony to the private confrontation, maintaining the high-stakes atmospheric tension.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He was taller than she had realized on the dais—a mountain of dark velvet and polished leather."
    *   *Commentary:* Provides a strong sensory anchor of Damien's physical presence and the power dynamic through Isabella's perspective.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "The internal lash of the Peace Vow struck her then, a whip of white-hot agony that curled around her heart."
    *   *Commentary:* Viscerally illustrates the physiological cost of Isabella's internal resistance, reinforcing the "world state" rules regarding the Peace Vow.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "A tiny, blooming rose of pink was beginning to seep through the white fabric. The scars were weeping."
    *   *Commentary:* A poignant, visual metaphor that highlights the physical failure of her facade and heightens the stakes of her secret being exposed.
*   **Quote 5 (Late):** "...reveal the crimson lattice of jagged, glowing scars beneath. The air in the room seemed to vanish as the raw evidence of her illegal hemomancy was bared..."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage successfully pays off the tension built throughout the chapter with a high-impact reveal of Isabella’s "Unmarked Vessel" violation.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Isabella Voss**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "Pray, do not mistake a bride’s exhaustion for a conspirator’s guilt."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. (Uses "Pray" as a sarcastic prefix as per profile).
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** YES. (Maintains elegant, composed mid-length sentences).
*   **Consistent Emotional Register:** YES. (Displays the "regal correction" mask even under physical distress).

**Character: Damien Blackthorn**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "It is a cell, Isabella. Pray, let us not drape it in the finery of delusion."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. (Though "Pray" is categorized as Isabella's tic, Damien uses it here as a mocking mirror of her speech, which fits his "smoldering rival" persona).
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech:** YES. (Avoids casual slang).
*   **Consistent Emotional Register:** YES. (Shifts from "absolute predator to tethered participant" as he becomes obsessed with the truth).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Power Dynamic Interaction:** The "nuclear standoff" mentioned in the global variables is perfectly captured in the pacing of the room circuit: "He did not rush her. Instead, he began a slow, deliberate circuit of the room, his eyes never leaving her face."
*   **The Hemomantic Consequences:** The physical manifestation of the scars and the Peace Vow is handled with consistency: "She swallowed the metallic taste of her own magic and offered a thin, brittle smile."
*   **Verbal Sparring:** The dialogue maintains a sharp, dangerous edge that reflects their mutual suspicion and the High Tower setting: "Refinement is a luxury for the conquered. We are the conquerors."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The marks she had earned when she tried to bind her mother's soul back to her body—lay hidden beneath the silk."
*   **PROBLEM:** The World State/Character Sheet specifies her mother was executed for breaking a vow, and Isabella's wound is the "witnessed execution." It does not explicitly state she tried to *bind the soul back* (necromancy), but rather that she is a hemomancer who gets scars from *using* magic. It risks introducing an inconsistent magic system (Necromancy vs. Hemomancy).
*   **FIX:** "the marks she had earned in the desperate, bloody aftermath of her mother’s execution—lay hidden beneath the silk." (Keeps the trauma grounded in the established Hemomancy/Vow system).

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The marks she had earned... lay hidden beneath the silk." / "...reveal the crimson lattice of jagged, glowing scars beneath."
*   **PROBLEM:** Chapter context states Damien "suspects Isabella is hiding scars" and "has now seen the evidence." The text here states they were "hidden" then "revealed." However, the RAG context says "Damien has now seen the evidence" at the *start* of the chapter's "Open Loops." This is a minor sequence confusion.
*   **FIX:** None required for the text, but the developer should note that this climax *is* the moment the RAG context was referring to.

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Binding Ritual had scarcely guttered out upon the stone walls..."
*   **PROBLEM:** A ritual "guttering out" is a confusing metaphor—rituals usually conclude or break, while "guttering" specifically refers to candles or flames.
*   **FIX:** "The last crimson wisps of the Binding Ritual had scarcely faded and the black candles guttered against the stone walls..."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Character Tell:** Isabella's character sheet mentions she "Traces the faint crimson scars on her wrists absentmindedly when anxious." 
    *   **Quote:** "She kept her hands clasped at her waist, fingers tracing the edge of her white silk gloves..." 
    *   **Suggestion:** Making this action slightly more obsessive or frantic would align better with her "Imperfection Signature" (panicked repetition).

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Verbal Tics:** The use of "Pray" and "is it not?" must remain. These are not repetitive errors; they are Isabella’s specific markers of aristocratic detachment. 
*   **Regal Tone:** Even when Isabella is in pain, do not allow her to beg. Her "regal corrections" (e.g., "I do not explain myself to those who act like common thieves") are essential to her arc. 
*   **Fragmentary Thoughts:** The "Blood, blood everywhere" repetition is a deliberate character flaw (Imperfection signature) and should not be smoothed into a complete sentence.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 88**

**Justification:** The prose is exceptionally strong and captures the voice signatures of Isabella and Damien perfectly. However, there is a minor continuity drift regarding her mother's death (soul-binding vs. vow-breaking) and a minor clarity issue with the opening metaphor that requires adjustment to ensure the magic system remains consistent.