### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The silver locket thrummed against her chest like a trapped hornet, its mechanical hum drowning out the faint croak of frogs beyond the safehouse walls."
    *   *Commentary:* This establishes the industrial horror theme immediately by contrasting natural sounds (frogs) with mechanical ones (hornet/hum).
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "She found a small, dried patch of moss clinging to a decorative piece of driftwood on the table. She traced the rough texture, trying to find the slow, ancient pulse of the earth..."
    *   *Commentary:* This successfully utilizes the character’s established "reach for" (tactile/moss) to ground her magic in a sterile environment.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "No, no, not that, no no," Lena whimpered, the repetition a frantic shield against the intrusion.
    *   *Commentary:* This verbatim use of the "Imperfection signature" from the character sheet effectively conveys Lena's mounting panic.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The sound of Terrebonne machinery, moving through the streets of the Ninth Ward like a predator."
    *   *Commentary:* This personification of industry reinforces the antagonistic "predatory" attitude of the corporatized magic.

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2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Lena Duval**
*   **Line:** "Gator's truth, Jax—the land has a heartbeat."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses "Gator's truth" as a verbal tic for undeniable facts.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** **YES.** She does not apologize or say "I give up."
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Matches her 50% arc position (realizing the frequency shift isn't a loss of power, but a tuning issue).

**Character: Jax Harlan**
*   **Line:** "I’m not moving you another inch until you tell me what ‘Project Phlegethon’ is."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Fits the brooding, protective, and suspicious "vested investigator" profile.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns:** **YES.** Consistent with his no-nonsense boat captain background.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** High-tension and adrenaline-fueled.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Sensory Logic of Magic:** The description of the failing illusion—"the mist that rose was thin, grayish, and smelled of ozone and burnt rubber instead of peat"—is a fantastic manifestation of the "Frequency Shift" and should stay.
*   **Tactile Grounding:** Lena’s interaction with the moss ("fingers searching for something... natural") honors the character sheet requirement that she reaches for bark, moss, or water to ground herself.
*   **The Antagonist’s Presence:** Maintaining Maribelle’s intrusion as a "mechanical growl" perfectly bridges the gap between the Duval Coven's magic and Terrebonne’s industry.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "'Jax, mon coeur, if we go out there...'"
*   **PROBLEM:** The voice signature states Lena uses French endearments "only for those she truly cares for, never sarcastically." While they are in a romance arc, Jax's arc is only at 25% and he is described as a "hired escort"/outsider. Using *mon coeur* (my heart) this early, especially while she is "stubbornly independent" and "isolates herself," feels like an unearned jump in intimacy for Chapter 6.
*   **FIX:** Use a less intimate or more general endearment like "cher," or focus on the tactile grounding. *Rewrite:* "Jax, cher, if we go out there..."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Lena scrambled to gather her herbs and the small jars of bayou water she kept as conduits..."
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the "Magic/Power" section, Lena's magic "binds her to Cypress Bend's geography—leaving weakens it to nothing." They are currently in New Orleans (Lower Ninth Ward), away from the Bend. The text acknowledges she feels "magically blind," but gathering conduits implies she expects them to work.
*   **FIX:** Add a line reflecting her desperation or the conduits' uselessness. *Rewrite:* "Lena scrambled to gather her herbs and the small jars of bayou water—now cold and stagnant, their connection to the Bend severed by the miles of concrete."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The 'Urban Wall'—that thick layer of human industry she usually used to drown out the overwhelming voices of the swamp..."
*   **PROBLEM:** This contradicts the "Active World Events" metadata which states: "Urban Wall Failure: The concrete and iron of New Orleans have ceased to provide Lena sanctuary." The prose says she *usually* uses it to drown out the swamp, but doesn't clearly explain *why* it is now a "lightning rod" instead of just "failing."
*   **FIX:** Clarify that the iron is now conducting the new frequency. *Rewrite:* "The 'Urban Wall' had been her shield, but Project Phlegethon had turned the city's very bones against her; the rebar didn't block the voices anymore—it carried them."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Further emphasize the scent of "magnolia and mud" mentioned in the Character Notes. (Optional)
    *   *Reference Quote:* "Instead, the air felt sterilized, stripped of its spirit." 
    *   *Reasoning:* Adding a sensory line about her own scent being the only familiar thing left would strengthen the "Industrial Horror" mood.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **DO NOT** smooth out Lena's repetitive dialogue: "No, no, not that, no no." This is her established "Imperfection signature."
*   **DO NOT** remove the Cajunisms ("Hellfire," "Gator's truth"): These are mandatory Voice Signature elements.
*   **DO NOT** make Jax "kinder": His brusque, suspicious nature ("If there's a mole... that contact is just a noose") is core to his 25% arc position.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the atmosphere and mechanical horror perfectly, but contains a significant voice violation regarding the intimacy of French endearments ("mon coeur") ahead of the arc's progression, and a minor continuity clash regarding the "Urban Wall" logic.