### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The silence that followed wasn't the absence of sound; it was a physical weight, a pressurized vacuum that seemed to suck the very air from her lungs."
    *   **Commentary:** This effectively establishes the "Great Silence" as an active antagonistic force rather than a passive setting element.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "The digital clock had melted into a black smear; the overhead light fixture hung by a single copper wire, its bulb shattered. The smell of sulfur and fried circuit boards was so thick she could almost chew it."
    *   **Commentary:** This grounding in physical sensory detail (smell and sight) reinforces the reality of the EM surge described in the World State.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Sarah felt the floor beneath her boots exhale—a deliberate, pressurized hiss—and she understood with crystalline horror that the thing below wasn't hiding. It was tuning."
    *   **Commentary:** The use of "tuning" as a verb creates a bridge between the scientific terminology and the supernatural threat, raising the stakes for the next chapter.

---

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Sarah Miller**
*   **Line:** "T-t-the interference worked... Empirically speaking, it couldn't occupy the same spatial coordinates as the feedback loop."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** She uses "Empirically speaking" and her "T-t-this" stammer associated with her feedback headache.
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** **YES.** She avoids flowery supernatural affirmations, sticking to "spatial coordinates" and "feedback loops."
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Consistent with her 55% arc (transitioning to engineer/action).

**Elias Thorne**
*   **Line:** "The 14Hz hum—the heartbeat—it's gone. In the 1927 logs, they called this the 'Breath-Hold.'"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** He focuses on the historical 1927 context and the "Great Silence" signatures.
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** **YES.** He maintains his weary, protective, but clinical tone.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** He shows the "heightened sensory alertness" and "drained" status noted in the character-state.

**Mark**
*   **Line:** (Silence/Groan) "A soft groan drifted from the living room."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Per the project context, Mark is a "silent, static anchor" in this chapter.
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** **YES.** He has no defined voice signature, and the text provides him no dialogue, preventing OOC (Out Of Character) errors.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Consistent with "Profound shock; stunned silence."

---

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Sensory Manifestation of the Ghost-Loop:** The moment the recorder activates on its own ("...is it... cold... down... there...") is a vital payoff for the "Digital recorder ghost-looping" open loop in the context.
*   **The "Wet Iron" Payoff:** The explanation of the scent ("Hemoglobin has a specific electromagnetic resonance") bridges Sarah’s need for logic with Elias’s occult knowledge perfectly.
*   **Sarah’s Physicality:** Keeping her symptoms consistent ("Bilateral tinnitus; bleeding from ears") maintains the high stakes and prevents the characters from feeling "bulletproof" despite the supernatural genre.

---

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The digital recorder's feedback loop cut out with a dying squeal... only battery-operated gear remains functional." / "Sarah reached for her recorder and finally clicked the 'on' switch. The LED flickered, green then amber..."
*   **PROBLEM:** Minor internal logic tension. Earlier World State says "Electronics are destroyed... only battery-operated gear remains functional," but then says her LED "struggled against the electromagnetic ruins." It implies the EM surge might still be active or the gear is dying.
*   **FIX:** Clarify that the surge has passed but left a residual "Electronic Dead Zone" effect. Change to: "The LED flickered, green then amber, struggling against the residual EM interference clinging to the room like static."

---

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...the refrigerator had partially buckled into a newly formed crater." / "The crater where the refrigerator sat seemed to deepen..."
*   **PROBLEM:** Location of the hatch vs. the crater. The text places Sarah near the counter/fridge, then has her move to a "pantry" to find the hatch. It's unclear if the entity is coming out of the crater or the hatch.
*   **FIX:** Clarify that the monster is moving *away* from the fridge-crater toward the specific pantry hatch. "The scraping from below moved *away from the refrigerator’s wreckage*, toward the hatch..."

---

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Mention Elias's "Wet Iron" scent obligation. In Ch-02, he owed her an explanation. This chapter delivers it well, but Sarah could explicitly acknowledge that he finally answered a "logical explanation" (referencing her Ch-02 obligation).
*   **Quote:** "Elias, [...] you never explained the iron. The smell. In chapter two... why?"
*   **Reasoning:** Strengthening the "Active Obligations" closure (Ch-02 UNPAID to PAID).

---

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do NOT remove Sarah’s stutters:** "T-t-the interference worked." This is a mandated imperfection signature from her voice-sig.
*   **Do NOT streamline the "Data doesn't lie" repetition:** This is a defined pivot phrase for her character to concede points.
*   **Do NOT give Mark dialogue:** He is intentionally "rendered a silent, static anchor" per his current arc (05%).

---

### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 92/100**
**REVISE.**
The chapter is extremely strong and follows character/voice signatures with high precision. However, a "REVISE" is triggered by the minor continuity/clarity issues regarding the EM surge's current state and the spatial relationship between the "fridge crater" and the "pantry hatch." Addressing these will ensure the geography of the final scene is perfectly clear.