### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The metallic tang of it was thick enough to coat her tongue, a bitter vintage she had served him against his will."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively utilizes the hemomancy theme to describe atmosphere, framing the violence as a subversive act of "serving" a drink.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He moved with a grace that defied his physical wreckage, his erratic pulse hammering a rhythm Isabella could feel in her own chest."
    *   *Commentary:* This reinforces the sensory bleed-through established in the RAG character state, making the bond feel visceral rather than merely metaphorical.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Ethereal chains of burning ruby light exploded from her palms, fueled by the shared agony of her bond with Damien."
    *   *Commentary:* This clearly illustrates the "Crimson Oath Lash" signature move defined in the magic system while linking its power to the emotional stakes.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "Isabella pulled her sleeves down, her heart hammering against her ribs like a trapped bird. She reached for a silver locket at her throat, her thumb obsessively rubbing the seal."
    *   *Commentary:* This successfully incorporates the "physical habit" of fiddling with lockets as noted in the character sheet to signal high anxiety.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Isabella Voss**
*   **Line:** "Pray, Malakor, do save the dramatics for your next sermon."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Uses the sarcastic "Pray" prefix.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** YES. Avoids casual slang; maintains an elegant, mid-length sentence structure.
*   **Emotional Register Consistency:** YES. Reflects her "Resolute" emotional state and her tendency to reach for intuition/motives.
*   **Reflective Sentence Check:** "Is it not?" is used at the end of her dialogue ("Is it not so?" and "Is it not enough?"), adhering to her speech quirk.

**Damien Blackthorn**
*   **Line:** "Pray, allow me this one... bit of... indulgence."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** NO. He uses Isabella's signature "Pray," which is not in his profile. However, given the blood-bond and "sensory bleed-through," this serves as a narrative device showing their blurring identities.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** YES. Speech is fragmented, consistent with "extreme physical exhaustion."
*   **Emotional Register Consistency:** YES. Shows the "simmering rage" and "fierce loyalty" noted in the context.

**Malakor (NPC)**
*   **Line:** "Isabella Voss, you have not brought peace. You have brought a death sentence."
*   **Emotional Register Consistency:** YES. Reflective of the "HUMILIATED" state and his demand for her trial.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Hemomantic Sensations:** The description of the bond as "a throbbing, intrusive intimacy" (Early) perfectly captures the unwanted yet undeniable connection between the leads.
*   **Isabella’s Defiant Dignity:** Her refusal to grovel even while exhausted, evidenced by the line: "Pray, do tell the Council how a 'vessel of filth' brought you to your knees" (Late), preserves her "Regal but resolute" character arc.
*   **Malphas’s Observation:** The moment Malphas notes her "unmarked vessel" status (Late) successfully advances the "Closed Loop" regarding her secret anatomy.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "...Isabella Voss, you have not brought peace. You have brought a death sentence." (Speech by Malakor, Early).
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the World State RAG, the Nightbloom have lost the "Peace Vow" protection already. Malakor’s dialogue here implies peace was the expected outcome of the ritual, but the context notes the Tithe *is* the protection.
*   **FIX:** "Isabella Voss, you have not secured our Vow. You have invited our annihilation."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Using Damien’s presence as a magical anchor..." (Late).
*   **PROBLEM:** The "Known Secrets" RAG (ch-02) states that using Damien's blood as an anchor is a *secret* known only to Damien. Using it in front of Malakor and Malphas during a battle risks exposing this secret too early or necessitates a reaction from Malphas.
*   **FIX:** Ensure Isabella internalizes that she is exposing a secret, or add a line where Malphas's "predatory realization" specifically notes the anchor technique.

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "She reached for his hand, her shredded palms pressing against his. The contact was an explosion of sensory overload." (Mid).
*   **PROBLEM:** The text previously stated Isabella's palms were "weeping lacerations" and Damien was "slumped a few feet away." The physical movement of her crossing that distance while being hunted by shadow-guards is missing, making the contact feel teleported.
*   **FIX:** "She lunged across the stone toward him, her shredded palms pressing against his as he reached out."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Heighten the "Malakor Skimming" secret. (Context ch-04).
    *   **Quote:** "The Tithe failed because you sought to take more than was agreed."
    *   **Reasoning:** Since Malakor secretly "skims essence" (RAG ch-04), Isabella’s accusation could be more pointed to rattle him specifically about his theft, rather than just a general "thief of essence."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Internal Monologue Repetition:** Do not change the "Blood, blood..." repetition in Isabella's head. This is her "Imperfection signature" (obsessive repetition when panicked) as defined in her voice sig.
*   **Ending with "Is it not?":** This sentence structure must be preserved as it is a specific quirk identified in the character sheet.
*   **High Collar Obsession:** Her constant checking of her collar is a plot-critical "Physical habit" to hide her scars/status and should not be edited for variety.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the character voices and magic system excellently, but there are minor continuity issues regarding the "Peace Vow" status and a clarity break regarding physical positioning during the hand-touch scene. Commercial flow is strong, but alignment with the RAG "Known Secrets" regarding the magical anchor needs explicit handling.