### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The air was heavy, thick as swamp-rot and sweet as crushed magnolias. It clung to her skin like a damp shroud."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the dual nature of the setting (decay vs. beauty) while grounding the scene in the sensory details specified in the character profile (magnolia and mud).
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "The contact was an explosion. Lena’s vision whirled. She wasn't in the cavern anymore; she was everywhere. She was the silt shifting under the hull of Jax’s boat; she was the wind rattling the dead leaves of the Black Cypress; she was the sudden, sharp fear of a crane taking flight."
    *   *Commentary:* The metaphorical transformation here successfully communicates the "Warden" arc by showing Lena’s consciousness expanding into the geography she now protects.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Lena stood her ground, her silver scars flaring until they blinded the dark. She leaned into the Hum, into the marrow-deep connection that bound her to every root and ripple of Cypress Bend."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage uses solid rhythmic alliteration ("root and ripple") to mirror the "clippped and rhythmic" nature of her magic-focused voice signature.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Lena Duval**
*   **Quote:** "Gator's truth, Jax—part of me is. The part that wanted to see New Orleans again."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES ("Gator's truth").
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES (She does not apologize; she is resigned and owns her status).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Weary but anchored, consistent with her 100% arc completion as Warden).

**Jax Harlan**
*   **Quote:** "Hellfire... That... that felt like being hit by a freight train filled with swamp water."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Uses "Hellfire," which is actually listed in Lena's scale but fits the shared high-stress environment of the Bend's inhabitants; uses "Hellfire" correctly for internal upset).
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES (No violations found).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Protective and loyal, consistent with his transition to guardian-consort).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Sensory Grounding:** The insistence on the scent profile. "It clung to her skin like a damp shroud... always smells faintly of magnolia and mud." This maintains the specific detail requested in the RAG notes.
*   **The Life-Debt Ritual:** The scene where Lena marks Jax ("She pressed her bleeding palm against his raw, battered knuckles") is a crucial narrative beat that addresses the "UNPAID" life-debt from Chapter 11 while reinforcing the "Bayou Binding" magic system.
*   **The "Hum" as Pacing Mechanic:** The use of the "Great Hum" as a physical presence ("The cavern walls didn't just vibrate; they screamed") effectively signals the escalation of the external threat.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "I owe you a life-debt, Jax Harlan. A Duval don't leave a ledger unbalanced."
*   **PROBLEM:** The phrase "A Duval don't" is a minor grammar slip, but more importantly, the character profile states: "Sentence length pattern: clipped and rhythmic like bayou chants when casting... meandering like swamp vines when reminiscing." While this is "clipped," the RAG notes specify Lena "never apologizes preemptively" and her voice signature includes "cher" for those she cares for. In the next breath, she uses "cher," but the "ledger" metaphor feels slightly too transactional/urban for her established voice.
*   **FIX:** "I owe you a life-debt, Jax Harlan. The Bend don't let a kindness go unreciprocated, cher."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Jax Harlan stood there... his shoulder stiff and frozen in a way that spoke of a deep, untreated ache."
*   **PROBLEM:** Ch-11 context says Jax was "guarding Lena... PAID (the siege has ended)." However, Ch-12 text says "the desperate defense he’d mounted while she’d been... elsewhere." This is fine, but the physical state says "shoulder stiffness persisting." The ritual magically heals him later, which is a logic jump unless clearly defined as magic.
*   **FIX:** Ensure the transition from "untreated ache" to "knitting together" is explicitly linked to the magic of the bond. (The current text does this well: "The raw skin was already beginning to knit together..."). *No correction needed, noted for consistency check.*

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Harmonic Bleed was reversing, the land trying to claw back what had been stolen as the structural integrity of the cavern began to fail."
*   **PROBLEM:** The RAG context defines Harmonic Bleed as "stealing swamp vitality for upper districts." If it is "reversing," it implies the swamp is taking energy *back* from the city. This is a massive plot point that happens almost as an afterthought in a sentence about rocks falling.
*   **FIX:** "The Harmonic Bleed was reversing—vines of static electricity surged backward through the copper conduits as the land began to claw back the vitality the city had stolen."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the "Machine-Witch" resonance mention.
    *   *Quote:* "...sent needles of 'Machine-Witch' fever dancing behind her eyes."
    *   *Reason:* Since Aunt Maribelle is actively tracking this specific frequency, having Lena notice a change in the *pitch* of the fever could foreshadow Maribelle’s arrival more effectively.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do NOT remove verbal tics:** "Gator's truth" and "No no, not that, no no" are essential Imperfection Signatures and must remain.
*   **Do NOT smooth out the clipped dialogue during magic scenes:** The rhythmic, chant-like quality of Lena's speech when she says "By the mud and the bone / By the salt and the stone" is a specific requirement of her Voice Signature.
*   **Do NOT remove the mention of "cher" or "mon coeur":** These are specific descriptors for her care for Jax.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**Score: 82**
**Justification:** While the chapter captures the atmospheric and magical requirements perfectly, there is a significant clarity issue regarding the "Harmonic Bleed" reversal. This is a world-altering event (the swamp reclaiming power from the city) that is currently buried in a description of falling dust. Additionally, one instance of Lena's dialogue regarding her "ledger" needs to be adjusted to better fit her "Swamp Witch" persona rather than a business-like tone.