### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Isabella watched the pupils of Damien’s eyes dilate until they were naught but obsidian voids, reflecting her own pale, mask-like face."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively uses a physical detail to convey the supernatural shift in power while reinforcing Isabella’s established "mask" persona.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "A sudden, white-hot pulse radiated from the small of her back—the Peace Vow, sensing her internal dissent, her refusal to be the submissive trophy the Blackthorn Coven demanded. The magic lashed her."
    *   *Commentary:* This successfully integrates the world-building (the Peace Vow) as an active antagonist within the scene's choreography.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "He didn't take her with the gentleness of a lover, nor the brutality of a conquerer. It was a negotiation of flesh."
    *   *Commentary:* This sharp, paradoxical phrasing perfectly captures the clinical yet intimate nature of their forced alliance.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "With a sharp, practiced movement, she pressed a thumb against a hidden needle in the clasp, drawing a single, concentrated drop of the blood-ink from her palm and sealing it inside the talisman."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides clear, tactile action that visualizes the "blood-ink" mechanic while advancing the plot's "insurance" subplot.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Isabella Voss**
*   **Line:** "Pray, do take care with your footing, My Lord."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Uses the "Pray" prefix sarcastically as per her Voice Signature.
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES. Avoids casual slang and maintains queenly detachment.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. Consistent with her 30% arc progression; she is leveraging her life-link to gain strategic ground.

**Damien Blackthorn**
*   **Line:** "I have never seen such reckless hemomancy. To bind a Blackthorn... it is an audacity that deserves either a crown or a pyre."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Displays the "dangerously intrigued" emotional state noted in the Character State.
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES. Speeds with a formal, slightly arrogant cadence.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. Transitioning from dominance to a "grudging respect" as per his 25% arc position.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Power Dynamic Shift:** The moment where the anchor forces Damien into "desperate stabilization" rather than violence (passage: "He pulled her upright, his strength compensating for her waning vitality") is essential for the "co-conspirator" arc.
*   **Hemomantic Visuals:** The description of the Unmarked Vessel violation (passage: "network of faint, shimmering crimson scars that raced across her collarbones") must remain to justify the High Priest's suspicion in future chapters.
*   **The Locket Ritual:** The use of the antique locket (passage: "Isabella sat up... reached for a small, antique silver locket") is a perfect payoff for the "Notes for Writers" section regarding her collection of talismans.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The air in the bridal chamber thickened..."
*   **PROBLEM:** The World State and Character State both place the characters on the **High Tower balcony**. While they may have moved inside, the transition from the balcony (where the "Consummation Silk" was staged in Ch-02/World State) into a "bridal chamber" is not explicitly established, creating a minor spatial jump.
*   **FIX:** Add a brief transition: "Damien hauled her from the chilling wind of the balcony back into the dim warmth of the bridal chamber."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "He reached down, his large, calloused hands trembling as they gripped her shoulders."
*   **PROBLEM:** Damien has a "fresh cut on his palm" (Physical State ch-03). The text ignores this injury during the gripping and lifting scenes, which would likely throb or smear blood given the hemomantic sensitivity of the room.
*   **FIX:** "He reached down, a smear of red from his own sliced palm staining her silk sleeves as his hands gripped her shoulders."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Isabella watched the pupils of Damien’s eyes dilate until they were naught but obsidian voids... reflects her own pale, mask-like face."
*   **PROBLEM:** The "obsidian voids" metaphor is slightly at odds with the pupils "reflecting" her face (which usually requires a flat or iris surface).
*   **FIX:** "Isabella watched the pupils of Damien’s eyes dilate into obsidian voids, his glossy irises reflecting her own pale, mask-like face."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Regarding the Peace Vow (Mid):**
    *   **Quote:** "A sudden, white-hot pulse radiated from the small of her back..."
    *   **Suggestion:** Since the World State mentions the Peace Vow "nearly killed her before Damien intervened," a brief sensory callback to that intervention would heighten the stakes of the current anchor.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not "soften" Isabella's dialogue.** Her use of "Pray" and "is it not?" must be preserved as they are her core verbal signatures.
*   **Do not remove the "repetition" in moments of stress.** The fragmenting of her sentences (passage: "I am... doing... nothing") is a signature of her panic/exhaustion and should not be smoothed into "elegant" prose.
*   **Do not minimize the "blood-ink" mechanics.** The clinical description of the magic is intentional for the genre audience.

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### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 88/100**
**REVISE**

**Justification:** The chapter excellently captures the voice signatures of both leads and integrates the World State variables (Peace Vow, Unmarked Vessel) seamlessly. However, there are minor continuity issues regarding the transition from the balcony to the chamber and the neglect of Damien’s established palm injury. These must be addressed to maintain the physical realism required by the hemomancy rules.