### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Lena stumbled, her legs feeling like waterlogged cypress knees. The air in the narrow stairwell was thick with the scent of ozone and scorched copper, a sharp, synthetic tang that scraped against the back of her throat."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the conflict between Lena’s natural swamp identity and the encroaching industrial "Phlegethon" magic through sensory contrast.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He was a creature of the currents, usually at home on a boat deck, but here he moved with the desperate grace of a man who knew he was being hunted."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides strong character grounding for Jax, reminding the reader of his background while justifying his current tactical behavior.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "I bind thee to the mud, not the wire... Drink, you hollow thing. Drink and be blind."
    *   *Commentary:* The rhythmic, chant-like prose successfully leans into the "Bayou Binding" magic system described in the character sheet.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The smell of the swamp greeted her like a long-lost sister—half-decay, half-life, a thick, humid embrace."
    *   *Commentary:* This reinforces the grounded nature of Lena’s magic and her relief at returning to her element.
*   **Quote 5 (Late):** "But Lena didn't flinch. She turned toward the dark water, toward the only home she had left, as her palm bled fresh onto the locket—and for the first time, the mechanical hum stuttered, whispering back in her mother’s voice."
    *   *Commentary:* This creates a compelling cliffhanger while tying the character's physical ritual (bleeding onto the object) to the emotional payoff.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Lena Duval**
*   **Line:** "Gator's truth, Jax—everywhere is a trap now."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES ("Gator's truth" is used correctly as an undeniable fact).
*   **Forbidden Patterns Avoided:** YES (She does not apologize or say "I give up").
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (She is fragmented/feverish but stubborn, consistent with Arc 55%).

**Jax Harlan**
*   **Line:** "Which is it, Lena? Did they find the house, or are they just finding *you*?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Clipped, tactical questions).
*   **Forbidden Patterns Avoided:** YES (Maintains "grimly determined" tone).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Displays "conspiracy fatigue" and tactical thinking).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Tactile Grounding:** The use of Lena's physical sensory inputs to describe magical interference: "the brick felt dead. Not just inanimate, but hollowed out, replaced by a rhythmic, industrial throb that vibrated through her teeth."
*   **Dialect and Endearments:** The consistent use of Cajun French only in moments of genuine intimacy: "The land has been gagged, mon coeur."
*   **The Locket Ritual:** The scene where Lena uses her own blood and "swamp" intent to jam the locket's tracking frequency ("I bind thee to the mud, not the wire") is a perfect execution of her established "Bayou Binding" limitation and style.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The wards Maribelle had pierced hung in the air like tattered cobwebs... Her thumb, sliced fresh from her frantic attempt at a defensive ward below, dripped crimson onto the linoleum."
*   **PROBLEM:** The World State and Character State (ch-07) specify Lena has a "palm wound reopened." In this text, it is suddenly her "thumb" that is sliced.
*   **FIX:** Change "thumb" to "palm" to maintain consistency with the established physical state from the RAG database.
    *   *Revised:* "...Her palm, sliced fresh from her frantic attempt at a defensive ward below, dripped crimson..."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Jax recovered... a small, brass-and-silicon box Jax recovered; it emits a counter-frequency to Maribelle’s tracking." (World State Metadata) / **Text:** "We have to ditch the beacon, Lena."
*   **PROBLEM:** In the text, Jax suggests ditching the locket because it's a beacon, but the RAG Metadata states he *already has a scrambler device* found in the barn to counteract tracking. He never uses it or mentions it in this chapter, which contradicts his "active tactician" status.
*   **FIX:** Include a brief moment where Jax attempts to use the brass-and-silicon box, only for it to fail or be overwhelmed by the "Phlegethon" frequency, forcing the decision to ditch the locket.

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The contact’s dark. No answer on the secondary line. Someone sold the location, or the location doesn’t matter anymore."
*   **PROBLEM:** This leaves the "Open Loop" regarding the safehouse leak (ch-06) slightly too vague. Jax is hyper-vigilant and should be more specific about who he was calling.
*   **FIX:** Reference the specific contact or the "viable contact" mention from his Active Obligations.
    *   *Revised:* "The contact in the Quarter is dark. No answer on the secondary line."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Mention the scent of magnolia earlier in the chapter. The voice signature notes "Always smells faintly of magnolia and mud; writers forget this grounding scent detail." While "mud" and "swamp" are present, the magnolia scent is missing until the mother's voice at the end.
    *   *Relevant Quote:* "The smell of the swamp greeted her like a long-lost sister—half-decay, half-life..."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not change Lena's repetitive speech:** "No, no, not that, no no" is her specific "imperfection signature" when panicked.
*   **Do not change the term "Gator's truth":** It is a mandatory verbal tic.
*   **Do not "smooth out" the industrial metaphors:** The clashing of "silicon" and "steel" against "moss" and "mud" is the central thematic conflict of Project Phlegethon.

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### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 82**
**REVISE:** The chapter is atmospheric and follows character voice signatures with high fidelity. However, there are two mandatory fixes: the continuity error regarding the palm vs. thumb wound, and the narrative absence of the "Scrambler Device" mentioned in the metadata, which Jax should logically utilize as an "active tactician."