### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The silence hit like a hammer after the gears' final scream, leaving only the low thrum of the Siphon’s new heartbeat echoing through the dripping cathedral of Sector 4."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the immediate shift in atmosphere, using a strong "hammer" metaphor to emphasize the physical weight of the sudden quiet.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "It was gone. In its place was a blackened, fused lump of copper and casing, melted directly into the ancient iron teeth of the Siphon."
    *   *Commentary:* These short, punchy sentences mirror the physical impact of the structural change and clearly communicate the permanence of the sabotage.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "From the surface of the stagnant water, a thick, white fog began to boil. It wasn't natural; it smelled of deep-earth mud and ancient, water-logged timber."
    *   *Commentary:* The prose successfully leans into the sensory details of Lena’s magic (smell and texture) rather than just visual spectacle.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The night was alive with the sound of frogs and the distant, rhythmic thrumming of the Siphon, still beating beneath the earth."
    *   *Commentary:* This reinforces the "World State" metadata regarding the Siphon's transformation into a rhythmic heartbeat while providing a grounded transition to the exterior environment.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Lena Duval**
*   **Quote:** "Gator’s truth, I didn't think you'd stay when the ghosts started screaming."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses the "Gator's truth" verbal tic as specified in the Character Sheet.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns?** YES. She does not say "I give up" or apologize preemptively.
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. She exhibits the "hollowed-out clarity" and "bone-deep lethargy" noted in the ch-09 character state.

**Character: Jax Harlan**
*   **Quote:** "Didn't say I'd like the company you keep."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses "combat variable," which aligns with his arc of accepting the swamp's malice as a tactical element.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns?** N/A (No specific forbidden patterns listed for Jax).
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. He maintains his protective stance and "tactical skepticism" while acknowledging the supernatural reality.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Integration of Technology and Magic:** The fused Scrambler Box becoming a "magical focus" is a strong payoff for Lena's mastery arc.
    *   *Passage:* "It’s a focus, Jax. A heavy one... The iron ate the spark, the spark woke the iron."
*   **Sensory Grounding:** The consistent use of the "magnolia and ozone" scent profile maintains the character's atmospheric roots.
    *   *Passage:* "She smelled the magnolia suddenly—overpowering and sweet, clashing with the ozone."
*   **The Salt-Tithe Resolution:** This effectively addresses the open loop from Chapter 8 regarding her debt to Jax.
    *   *Passage:* "Salt-tithe... For the life you gave back to the water, and the life you kept for me."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "She reached for the silver locket, the chain bent and fouled with grit. She didn't twist it this time; she snapped the clasp."
*   **PROBLEM:** The World State Metadata for ch-09 states the silver locket is "Dormant; chain is bent." However, the Voice Signature/Physical Habit section states Lena "twists a silver locket... when lying or hiding emotions—readers spot it as her guilt signal." Snapping the clasp implies destroying or discarding her primary character tell/key item prematurely before the arc is 100% complete.
*   **FIX:** "She reached for the silver locket, the chain bent and fouled with grit. Her fingers brushed the metal, but she forced them away, refusing to twist the links in her usual guilt." (This preserves the item for future chapters while showing her growth).

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Siphon's a lie. Gator's truth... it ain't meant to protect the bayou from the flood. It’s meant to harvest it."
*   **PROBLEM:** While thematic, the mechanical transition from "drainage system" to "soul harvester" is a bit abrupt for the reader. It’s unclear if Lena just realized this or if the heartbeat told her.
*   **FIX:** "The Siphon's a lie. Gator's truth... I can feel it in the thrumming now. It ain't meant to protect the bayou from the flood. It’s meant to harvest it."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Lean harder into Lena's repetition tic during the Aunt Maribelle moment to emphasize the breaking of her digital fever/lethargy.
    *   *Quote:* "No no, not that, no no."
    *   *Note:* This is already present, but could be coupled with a physical stumble to show the "bone-deep lethargy" impacting her movement.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Verbal Tics:** Do not remove "Gator's truth" or the Cajun French endearments like "cher." These are core to the Voice Signature.
*   **Sentence Structure:** The "clipped and rhythmic" chanting style during the fog summoning ("Mist of the root, breath of the rot...") is intentional and should not be smoothed into standard prose.
*   **The "Imperfect" Pulse:** The heartbeat metaphor for the machinery is a specific World State change (The Harmonic Bleed: TRANSFORMED) and must remain central to the scene's acoustics.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter is atmospheric and follows the Voice Signatures excellently, but it contains a continuity risk regarding the "snapped" locket which is a key character item/habit, and a minor clarity issue regarding the source of Lena's sudden epiphany about the Siphon's purpose.