### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Early:** "The air here didn’t just carry the scent of pine and damp earth; it tasted of copper and old, forgotten songs."
    *Commentary: This effectively uses sensory layering to establish the supernatural atmosphere of the Elderwood.*
*   **Mid:** "The shadows of the village men didn't vanish; they curdled. The negative emotions of the betrayal—the fear, the malice, the cold-blooded treachery—began to take physical form."
    *Commentary: This passage successfully externalizes internal conflict into a tangible threat, though the word "curdled" is a particularly strong verb choice for the horror tone.*
*   **Mid:** "She felt for the loose thread—the scream, the betrayal—and she pulled."
    *Commentary: This connects Lirael’s background as a weaver to her newfound magical ability, grounding the fantasy mechanics in her character identity.*
*   **Late:** "The forest felt different now—less like a graveyard and more like a crime scene."
    *Commentary: This sentence marks a sharp, effective pivot in the protagonist’s internal arc from victimhood to agency.*
*   **Late:** "The moonlight was just beginning to filter through the canopy, silvering his hair."
    *Commentary: This provides a necessary moment of visual stillness that emphasizes the shift in the characters' relationship after the conflict.*

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT
*Note: Per the context provided, Lirael and Thorne are the stand-ins/aliases for Elara and Kaelen in this draft.*

**Character: Lirael (Elara Vance)**
*   **Quote:** “It tells me I’m impulsive and likely to get eaten by a briar-wolf.”
*   **Signature Vocabulary:** YES. Uses self-deprecating wit consistent with her "Overwhelmed but resolute" state.
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES. Avoids overly formal speech.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. Reflects her 55% arc position—harmonizing with memory and accepting the weight of the past.

**Character: Thorne (Kaelen)**
*   **Quote:** “I’m alone because the echoes are louder for me than the living. Usually.”
*   **Signature Vocabulary:** YES. Uses "cynical" and protective tonality consistent with his profile.
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES. No modern slang used.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. Shows the protective/shielding nature (48% arc) established in the context.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Weaver Metaphor:** The integration of Lirael’s craft into her magic usage ("Threads", "Weaver", "Tuck it back into the pattern") is a unique character-driven magic system that must remain. 
*   **The Emotional Weight of the Echo:** The revelation of the mother’s fate through a psychic vision ("Run! You have to run!") provides a strong personal stake that justifies Lirael's transition from the village to the forest.
*   **The Tension in the Dynamic:** The ending of the chapter preserves the "Protective and increasingly cynical" nature of Thorne/Kaelen while introducing a necessary rift ("You didn't seem surprised by what the echo showed").

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Thorne stepped in front of her, his hands glowing with a faint, amber light. He parried a blow from a shadow-claw with his bare palms..."
*   **PROBLEM:** In the RAG Context (ch-06), Elara (Lirael) is the one who harmonized with the Water Aspect. There is no mention of Thorne/Kaelen having "amber light" or the ability to parry supernatural entities with bare hands. His profile lists him as a deserting "Seeker" with a "Shortsword," not a light-wielder. This confuses the power scaling between the Vessel and the protector.
*   **FIX:** "Thorne stepped in front of her, swinging his Shortsword in a desperate arc to intercept the shadow-claw. The impact sent a jar of numbing cold up his arm, but he held his ground."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...she recognized from a scrap in her father's cedar chest..." (referring to the mother's dress).
*   **PROBLEM:** Earlier in the chapter, Lirael says, "My father is probably checking the hearth right now." Later she says, "My father... he must have known." However, the RAG state for World State (ch-05/06) notes Oakhaven is under attack and Elder Thalric is DECEASED. While Thalric is an Elder, not her father, the narrative implies the village is essentially destroyed or in a refugee state (Mira and the refugees), making the "checking the hearth... stir the stew" comment confusingly peaceful compared to the "Active World Events" of the Great Blight.
*   **FIX:** Ensure the dialogue acknowledges the danger: "My father is probably hiding in the cellar right now, clutching his iron charms and praying the blight doesn't find the door."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Three men from the village stood opposite her... One was Elder Halloway..."
*   **PROBLEM:** The world state identifies "Elder Thalric" and "Elder Halloway" is not mentioned in the context. If Halloway is a new character, it's fine, but the text creates a transition gap regarding why *village elders* were present for a ritual 16 years ago that involved "The Guardians" (The Circle of Thorns? The Grove Sentinels?). It is unclear which faction was responsible.
*   **FIX:** Explicitly link the men to the faction: "One was Elder Halloway, his robes marked with the sigil of the Circle of Thorns, his face twisted in a mask of righteous fury."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the "Sunstone Shard" foreshadowing.
    *   **Quote:** “Hide it, Lirael. Hide the heart.”
    *   **Reason:** The RAG context mentions Elara knows the location of the "Sunstone Shard." Linking the "Heart" in the echo more clearly to the "Shard" mention in Ch-03 would reward attentive readers.
*   **Suggestion:** Adjust "briar-wolf" to align with established fauna.
    *   **Quote:** "likely to get eaten by a briar-wolf"
    *   **Reason:** The context mentions "Shadow Wraiths." If briar-wolves are common name for them, it's fine, but adding a "shadow" descriptor reinforces the active world threat.

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **The Protagonist's Anger:** Do not soften Lirael’s reaction to Thorne at the end of the chapter. Her bitterness ("Are you one of them?") is a key part of her arc toward the 55% mark where she accepts the "weight of the Vessel's memories" independently of her guides.
*   **Dialogue Tics:** Thorne’s habit of using "Usually" or short, cryptic sentences ("I’m just... a debt they haven't collected yet") must be preserved as part of his cynical wanderer persona.

### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter has excellent atmospheric prose and strong character building, but the introduction of Thorne/Kaelen having "amber light" magical abilities contradicts the established character state where he is a non-magical protector, and the village's status contradicts the "Great Blight" urgency established in the world state. These continuity errors must be addressed.