### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The air in Sub-Level 3 had grown thick, tasted of ionized copper and wet, disturbed soil."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively bridge-builds between the technological and the primordial, reinforcing the "subterranean" reveal through sensory grounding.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "The PA system hummed, a deep, resonant tone that seemed to bypass the ears and vibrate directly in the marrow."
    *   *Commentary:* This successfully conveys the physical intensity of the Harvest, moving the threat from external audio to internal biological invasion.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The heavy reinforced concrete of the Archive floor didn't crack; it unraveled. It softened, turning into something resembling organic tissue, dark and porous."
    *   *Commentary:* The choice of "unraveled" creates a strong surrealist image that aligns with the "metaphysical decay" described in the world state.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The floor split open beneath Elias with a wet, earthen gasp, exhaling not air but the subterranean Whisper itself—directly into his mouth."
    *   *Commentary:* This visceral ending punctuates Elias’s arc of "sensory overload" and the Curator’s "linguistic virus" concept with a haunting physical violation.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Sarah Miller**
*   **Line:** "Elias, empirically speaking, we need that explanation now—before this place finishes swallowing us."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES ("empirically speaking").
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES (avoids "supernatural affirmations," treats the event as a physical/biological threat).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (consistent with her 85% arc status: "abandoned all scientific skepticism to aid Elias").

**Elias Thorne**
*   **Line:** "It’s a linguistic pulse, Sarah. A virus made of frequency. The Archive isn't just storing data anymore; it's incubating it."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** N/A (Elias does not have a formal voice-sig block provided, but his dialogue aligns with the project context regarding his role as a translator).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Fatalistic and desperate; focused on the "source").

**The Curator**
*   **Line:** "The Harvest cannot be sabotaged by the grain, Elias. The Final Sequence has already begun."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Coldly triumphant, uses the "Harvest" and "Final Sequence" terminology).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Impatient, shedding the pretense of management).

**Mark**
*   **Line:** "Where is the night shift? Where is Miller?"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** NO (Voice sheet lists tics/sentence patterns as "Unknown").
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Paralyzed by terror, consistent with his 20% arc of being "completely broken").

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Sarah's Dialectical Tension:** Even in a life-threatening crisis, Sarah maintains her analytical pivot. Quote: "Data doesn't lie, Elias, and the logs say this facility is a closed loop." This preserves her character integrity while showing her struggle.
*   **The Curator’s Metaphors:** The shift from administrator to "Gardener" is a chilling and effective evolution of the antagonist. Quote: "The Harvest cannot be sabotaged by the grain."
*   **The Physicality of the Signal:** The transition of the "Whisper" from a sound to a physical substance/organic presence is well-handled. Reference: The description of "monitors sweating... an oily residue."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Through the speaker, he heard Sarah’s sharp, rhythmic intake of breath—the sound of a woman trying to calculate her way out of a nightmare." (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** Perspective violation. Elias (the POV character) cannot know Sarah's internal state (that she is "trying to calculate her way out") through a crackling comms unit; he can only hear her breath.
*   **FIX:** "Through the speaker, he heard Sarah’s sharp, rhythmic intake of breath—the sound of her struggle to process the data through the terror."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Mark lundged for the security door, slamming his palm against the scanner. The light flashed a mocking, violent red. 'Locked,' Mark whispered." (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** According to the [character-state] for Mark, he is "uninjured but catatonic" and "refused to move or help." This scene depicts him as physically active and vocal, which contradicts his established state of being "paralyzed by terror."
*   **FIX:** "Mark remained hunched by the security door, his palm resting dead against the scanner as it pulsed a mocking, violent red. 'Locked,' he whispered to the shadows, his eyes unfocused."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Optional:** Enhance the sensory connection to Sarah's headache.
*   **Quote:** "The migraine... it’s spiking. Th-this frequency is hitting 18 hertz."
*   **Reasoning:** If Sarah is "bleeding from the ears" (Ch-12 context), having her mention the migraine without mentioning the physical blood feels slightly understated given the severity of her physical state.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do NOT remove Sarah’s stammers:** "Th-th-subterranean?" and "Th-this frequency..." are intentional reflections of her "imperfection signature" caused by audio feedback.
*   **Do NOT normalize the Curator’s dialogue:** His pretentious, non-human phrasing ("Harvest cannot be sabotaged by the grain") is essential to his 90% arc reveal.
*   **Do NOT fix "unraveling" concrete:** This is a manifestation of the "Zero-State" world event where outside physics no longer apply.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**JUSTIFICATION:** While the prose and voice signatures are exceptionally strong and atmosphere-accurate, there is a significant continuity conflict between Mark’s character state (catatonic/immobile) and his actions in this chapter (lunging/slamming doors), as well as a minor POV slip in Elias's perception of Sarah's internal thoughts.