**EDITORIAL REVIEW: Crimson Vows – Chapter 4: Courting Shadows**

### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "A queen did not twitch. A queen was a structural necessity, a load-bearing column that did not acknowledge the cracks in its own marble."
    *   *Commentary:* Excellent use of Seraphine’s architectural voice signature to establish her internal policing of her own weakness.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He had seen her stumble on the walk to the cellar; he had felt the tremor in her hand when they reached the obsidian."
    *   *Commentary:* Effectively pulls in the "open loops" from the RAG context regarding Kaelen’s secret knowledge of her physical flagging.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The obsidian shattered into a thousand harmless shards of charcoal, and the high-pitched screaming stopped instantly."
    *   *Commentary:* This resolution feels slightly rushed and "easy" given the build-up of the Blight as a world-ending threat; the physical cost needs more weight.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT
**Seraphine**
*   **Quote:** "I do not have the luxury of viewing people as anything else."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES ("structural asset," "decorative column," "extraction," "equilibrium").
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES (Avoids contractions: "I do not" instead of "I don't").
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Pragmatic, predatory, masking terror with architectural metaphors).

**Aldric**
*   **Quote:** "I can... I can hear you."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES (Reverts to singular "I" while vulnerable).
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES (Uses contraction "can't" late in the chapter—ALLOWED per profile "unless in extreme pain or physical exhaustion," which the tower climb qualifies).
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Martyrdom complex is visible as he offers himself to the "cage").

**High Priestess Malcorra**
*   **Quote:** "Do not mistake the pulse in your wrist for your own music; it is merely the drumming of ancestors who are waiting for you to fail them."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES ("It is written in the vein," "the vessel," "the clay").
*   **Forbidden Patterns:** YES (Speaks in certainties; no "I think").
*   **Emotional Register:** YES (Calculated, religious fanaticism).

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Shared Trauma Loop:** The telepathic intrusion of the "girl in the cellar" and "execution of the brother" (Mid: "You were six years old, and you were watching them pull your father’s head back") perfectly bridges the emotional distance between the leads via the blood-bond.
*   **Seraphine’s Predatory Gaze:** Her focus on Aldric’s throat (Early: "She watched the pulse in his neck. It was a frantic, rhythmic stutter") maintains her specific character habit from the voice sig.
*   **Atmospheric Tension:** The description of the Blight as "the screaming of a thousand dying violins" and "the smell of rotting lilies" creates a visceral sensory profile for the antagonist force.

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Blight greets its new masters," Malcorra whispered, her voice a dry, raspy wheeze that forced Seraphine to lean in.
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the RAG character-state for Ch-05, Malcorra is "Off-screen" in the Crimson Cathedral in Aethelgard. However, Ch-04 places her physically on the dais at the Oakhaven outskirts breach. If Ch-04 and Ch-05 are sequential, the travel time between the Oakhaven breach and the Cathedral is missing or the geography is confused.
*   **FIX:** Ensure the transition from the "Breach Point" (Context) to the "Cathedral" (Chapter Text) is clearly defined as the same location or a fast-travel via hemomancy. If the Cathedral is in the capital (Aethelgard), Malcorra cannot be there and at the "Outskirts" simultaneously. Provide a bridging sentence: "The ritual had been moved to the Cathedral's forward sanctum at the edge of the glass-line to facilitate the Seal."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "I will bracing you," she said, her voice dropping into a low, predatory cadence.
*   **PROBLEM:** Grammatical error ("I will bracing you") disrupts the immersion of Seraphine’s usually perfect, periodic speech.
*   **FIX:** "I will brace you," or "I am bracing you."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Contextualizing the "Red Winter":** (Late: "The ancestors are watching"). This line is a bit generic. Given the RAG world-state mentions the "Red Winter" apparitions specifically, Malcorra should imply the ancestors are not just watching, but manifesting. 
    *   *Suggested Revision:* "The ancestors seek a host, Seraphine. Do not let the Red Winter freeze your blood before the task is done."

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Contractions:** Do NOT "correct" Aldric’s use of "don't" or "can't" in the final scene. These are intentional indicators of his physical collapse.
*   **Dialogue Length:** Do NOT shorten Malcorra’s "operatic and liturgical" sentences; the sprawling nature of her speech is a specific character signature.
*   **Predatory Metaphors:** Do NOT soften Seraphine’s view of Aldric as an "architectural calculation." This is her defense mechanism and central to her arc.

### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82/100**
**REASON:** The chapter is tonally masterful and adheres strictly to voice signatures, but contains a glaring grammatical error in a pivotal dialogue beat ("I will bracing you") and a potential geographic continuity conflict with the Ch-05 RAG data regarding Malcorra's location. These must be reconciled before the "Sanguine Marriage" arc can progress to the next stage of stabilization.