### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The 110-decibel feedback loop she had unleashed was a jagged scar across her memory, a desperate roar of white noise that had physically shoved the shadows back into the floorboards."
    *   *Commentary:* Effectively personifies the sound as a physical weapon, grounding the speculative "Whisper" mechanics in visceral action.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He scribbled something quickly, the lead screeching against the paper—a sound Sarah felt in her teeth."
    *   *Commentary:* Excellent use of sensory substitution to convey Sarah’s hearing trauma; she "feels" the sound rather than hearing it through conventional means.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The absolute void was being replaced by a subtle, tactile chill. It wasn't a sound, but a pressure on their skin, like the air in the house was being sucked out through a tiny straw."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage successfully transitions the threat from acoustic to atmospheric/physical, heightening the stakes of the "Electronic Dead Zone."

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Sarah Miller**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "Elias, empirically speaking, radio ghosts aren't a thing—unless this damn hum in my skull says otherwise." (Context reference: Chapter start/Dialogue check) / "Empirically speaking... the surge... it worked." (Actual chapter text)
*   **YES:** Signature vocabulary. She uses "empirically speaking" and "data doesn't lie" exactly as dictated by her voice signature.
*   **YES:** Avoids forbidden speech. She avoids any flowery supernatural affirmations, maintaining her analytical lens.
*   **YES:** Emotional register. She stammers her initial consonants ("Th-this frequency..." / "Wh-what the actual fuck") which is a required imperfection signature for her under stress.

**Elias Thorne**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "Why... didn't... you... tell... me?"
*   **YES:** Signature vocabulary. While primarily writing in this chapter, his dialogue is blunt and urgent, matching his "intensely protective" emotional state.
*   **YES:** Avoids forbidden speech. 
*   **YES:** Emotional register. His shift from "observer to an active participant" is clear in his physical urgency and frustration.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Sensory Consistency:** The maintenance of the "wet iron" and "sulfur" scents throughout the chapter anchors the reader in the post-shock environment. Quote: "...underscored by a thick, cloying scent of sulfur that refused to dissipate."
*   **Sarah’s Analytical Shield:** The way she uses logic as a coping mechanism even while bleeding. Quote: "*Physics. Action and reaction. Sound is a wave. I broke the wave.*"
*   **The 14Hz Biological Integration:** The terrifying confirmation of Elias's secret that the signal matches his pulse. Quote: "There was a secondary cadence, a low-frequency oscillation that felt like a sub-bass hum. 14Hz."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The 'ghost-loop' of Oakhaven was gone, silenced by a superior force of her own making." (Early)
*   **PROBLEM:** This contradicts the "Open loops" in the Character State ch-07, which lists: "[Sarah] Digital recorder 'ghost-looping' (ch-02) — UNRESOLVED." Resolving it here without a proper narrative payoff for the *loop itself* (the content of the loop) makes the arc 55% transition feel too abrupt.
*   **FIX:** "The immediate screech of the 'ghost-loop' was silenced, the recorder dead in her hand, though the memory of those impossible repetitions still clawed at her mind—an open circuit waiting for a spark."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "1927 GREAT SILENCE DATA MATCHES MY PULSE." (Mid - notebook)
*   **PROBLEM:** Elias’s known secret according to RAG is "Signal matches his pulse," but he has not yet confirmed the *1927 Great Silence* specifically matches his pulse until this moment. The phrasing suggests Sarah should already know what he means by "Great Silence," but she is only tracking the "Whispers."
*   **FIX:** Elias should write: "THE 14HZ SIGNAL MATCHES MY PULSE. THE SAME FREQUENCY FROM THE 1927 ARCHIVE."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Clarify Mark’s presence. 
*   **Quote:** "Location: Miller Household, Living Room (Presumed) ... immobile."
*   **Comment:** The chapter focuses entirely on Sarah and Elias in the hallway. Briefly mentioning Mark’s "silent, shocked" form in the periphery would reinforce his role as a "static skeptical anchor" who has been broken by the event.

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not fix Sarah’s stutters.** The repetition of "Th-" and "Wh-" in her dialogue ("Th-this frequency," "Wh-what the actual fuck") is a specific imperfection signature and must remain.
*   **Do not remove "Empirically speaking."** This is her key verbal tic.
*   **Do not make the dialogue "cleaner."** The muffled, interrupted nature of the conversation reflects the physical trauma of 110dB hearing loss.

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### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 88**
**REVISE**
*Justification:* The chapter is incredibly strong in terms of atmosphere and character voice. However, two "MUST-FIX" items regarding the resolution of the "ghost-loop" open loop and the specific phrasing of the 1927 data connection need to be adjusted to align perfectly with the RAG database state. Once the continuity regarding the "ghost-loop" status is clarified as purely a hardware silence rather than a narrative resolution, the chapter will pass.