### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "Isabella watched the pupils of Damien’s eyes dilate until they were naught but obsidian voids, reflecting her own pale, mask-like face."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively uses Gothic imagery to visualize the physiological impact of the blood-ink anchor, reinforcing the genre's dark tone.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "A sudden, white-hot pulse radiated from the small of her back—the Peace Vow, sensing her internal dissent, her refusal to be the submissive trophy the Blackthorn Coven demanded."
    *   *Commentary:* This fulfills the world-building requirement of showing the Peace Vow’s violent reaction to Isabella's agency, though "submissive trophy" leans slightly into cliché.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Isabella sat up, her movements stiff. She reached for a small, antique silver locket resting on the bedside table."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage grounds the action in the physical environment and utilizes the character's established trait of collecting vow-sealed lockets as talismans.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The door groaned again under the weight of a second strike. The nuclear standoff had just invited the world inside."
    *   *Commentary:* While the pacing is urgent, the word "nuclear" is an anachronistic jarring metaphor for a high-fantasy/Gothic setting.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Isabella Voss**
*   **Line:** "Pray, do take care with your footing, My Lord."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses the sarcastic "Pray" prefix.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** **YES.** Avoids slang; maintains elegant, mid-length sentence structures.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Consistent with her "Defiant and strategically calculating" state (ch-03 context).

**Damien Blackthorn**
*   **Line:** "I have never seen such reckless hemomancy. To bind a Blackthorn... it is an audacity that deserves either a crown or a pyre."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Displays the "grudgingly respectful" tone noted in his profile.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** **YES.** No forbidden patterns noted in the RAG for Damien.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Transitioning from dominance to the "dangerous intrigue" specified in his arc (25%).

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Sympathetic Pain Mechanic:** The physical manifestation of the anchor is well-executed, specifically when Damien feels Isabella's pain: "Immediately, Damien let out a cry of genuine agony. He collapsed against the wardrobe, clutching his spine at the exact meridian where she felt the Vow’s sting." This raises the stakes for their mutual survival.
*   **Isabella’s Agency via "Regal Correction":** The narrative honors her voice signature by having her frame the consummation on her terms: "I want a regal correction of this power dynamic." This avoids the "groveling" forbidden in her notes.
*   **The Locket Talisman:** Integrating her hobby of collecting lockets (noted in the character sheet) into the plot as a containment device for the blood-ink: "As long as I wear this, the tether remains unbreakable."

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "'The Unmarked Vessel clause. You are far from unmarked, witch. I saw the scars. I saw the rot beneath the silk.'"
*   **PROBLEM:** Per the RAG Context (ch-02/ch-03 secrets), Isabella's scars are a secret she is *carrying*. Earlier in this chapter, it says she "ensuring it [the collar] still hid the jagged history of her neck." Damien seeing the scars *before* he unfastens her collar later in the scene creates a temporal paradox.
*   **FIX:** Damien should refer to the bleeding he *senses* or the blood on the "Consummation Silk" mentioned in the World State, rather than stating he has already seen the scars. Rewrite: "The Unmarked Vessel clause. You are far from unmarked, witch. I smell the copper of your hidden wounds; I see the stain spreading beneath your lace."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The nuclear standoff had just invited the world inside."
*   **PROBLEM:** "Nuclear" is a modern, technological term that breaks the immersion of a world defined by "High Towers," "Coven Elders," and "Hemomancy."
*   **FIX:** "The precarious standoff had just invited the world inside." or "The volatile standoff had just invited the world inside."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the "imperfect signature" of Isabella's speech.
*   **Quote:** "I am... doing... nothing," Isabella managed.
*   **Reason:** Her voice profile states she repeats words when panicked (e.g., "blood blood everywhere"). Adding a slight repetition here would emphasize her hemomantic exhaustion.
*   **Optional Fix:** "I am... doing... nothing. Nothing at all."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not remove "Pray" prefixes:** Even if they feel repetitive, this is a mandatory verbal tic for Isabella.
*   **Do not soften Isabella’s clinical tone:** Her detachment during the "negotiation of flesh" is a specific character choice (refusing to grovel or show public vulnerability).
*   **Do not remove the "is it not?" ending:** "A tragic end for a conqueror, is it not?" This is her specific speech quirk for seeking ghostly affirmation/validation.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the characters' voices and the magic system excellently, but it contains a significant continuity error regarding when Damien discovers Isabella's scars and an immersion-breaking anachronism ("nuclear").