1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   "The silence that followed was louder than the scream. Elias stood in the center of the kitchen, his lungs burning with the air he’d forgotten to exhale." (Early) - Effectively establishes the physical toll of terror and high-stakes tension through visceral sensations.
*   "She looked like she was made of parchment and pressed flowers." (Mid) - Uses concise, evocative imagery to define Mrs. Gable’s character and age without resorting to cliché.
*   "In the reflection, the space where he stood was empty. The lamp he held was suspended in mid-air, floating." (Late) - Successfully grounded a supernatural event in a clear, frightening visual that heightens the psychological stakes.

2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Elias Thorne**
Dialogue: “I don’t believe in ghosts, Mrs. Gable. I’m a restorer. I believe in dry rot, foundations, and bad plumbing.”
*   Signature vocabulary/tics: **YES** (Uses technical terminology ["dry rot," "foundations"] consistent with his background as a scholar/restorer).
*   Avoids forbidden speech: **YES** (Registers as a standard intellectual).
*   Emotional register consistent: **YES** (Maintains a defensive, skeptical front despite his internal paranoia, consistent with his 10% Arc shift).

3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Sensory Horror:** The use of smell to signal the supernatural. Reference: "...a wet, rattling vibration that had smelled of stagnant water and old copper." This creates a reoccurring olfactory anchor for the entity.
*   **The Historian’s Lore:** Mrs. Gable’s dialogue provides necessary world-building that grounds the house's history. Reference: “1924. That was the year the first family left... claiming the walls were ‘breathing’ their secrets.”
*   **Visual Displacement:** The mirror scene where Elias is absent visually represents his internal erasure. Reference: "But it didn't show Elias. In the reflection, the space where he stood was empty."

4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...just like the Archive... (Context implied: Elias transition from Oakhaven Archive to Blackwood Manor within Ch 03)."
*   **PROBLEM:** The Project Context states Elias and Sarah are currently in "The Archive, Sub-Level 4, Oakhaven" with an unresolved loop regarding the 'Whisper' signal. Chapter 3 begins with Elias alone in "Blackwood Manor," a location not mentioned in the Project Context, and he is suddenly "restoring" it. The transition from the Archive team (Sarah/Curator) to a solo renovation project in a Victorian manor is missing.
*   **FIX:** Add a brief introductory paragraph or flashback explaining that Elias has retreated to his newly purchased property, Blackwood Manor, to escape the Archive's dismissal of his findings, or clarify if Blackwood Manor is meant to be the site of the Archive/Signal.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Miller family. There’s a police report tucked in the back."
*   **PROBLEM:** The Context lists Sarah Miller as a skeptic/colleague at the Archive. Here, "The Miller family" is treated as a historical mystery Elias is unaware of.
*   **FIX:** Elias should recognize the name. Change to: "The Miller family? Sarah’s family? No, it couldn't be." This bridges the character context with the new lore.

5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The ink suggested a body."
*   **PROBLEM:** While evocative, it is unclear how "chaotic, swirling patterns" immediately leap to "suggested a body" without a specific anatomical reference for the reader to visualize.
*   **FIX:** "The clean lines of his renovations were hidden under chaotic, swirling patterns. What he’d mapped as a ventilation system had been redrawn as a trachea; the electrical closet was now a pulsing, blackened heart. The house wasn't a building—the ink suggested a body."

6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Reference the "1920s occult patterns" mentioned in the Context. Elias knows the signal matches these patterns; the ledger in the library is the perfect place to reinforce this.
*   **Quote:** “1924. That was the year the first family left.”
*   **Improvement:** Add: "Elias noted the date—1924. The same era as the occult frequencies he'd tracked at the Archive."

7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Voice Tics:** Do not remove Elias’s internal habit of "rationalizing" or his "skeptical scholar" persona (e.g., "Just the pipes"). These are vital for his character arc from skeptic to believer.
*   **Atmospheric Repetition:** The repeated mentions of the "smell of rot" are intentional thematic anchors and should not be edited for variety.

8. VERDICT: REVISE
SCORE: 78
The prose is evocative and the horror beats are effective, but the chapter suffers from a massive continuity jump: Elias moves from a high-tech Archive sub-level with a partner (Sarah) to a solo home-renovation haunting in "Blackwood Manor" without explaining the change in location or the status of his "intellectually consumed" state from Chapter 1. The mention of the name "Miller" as a historical entry without Elias reacting to his colleague Sarah Miller is a missed connection that needs addressing.