### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **"Liora's vision swam through a haze of violet hemorrhage as she slumped against the Threshold's thrumming wall, the Thirteenth Strand's echo still fraying at the edges of her soul."** (Early) — This effectively establishes the physical and metaphysical toll of the "Dirty Circuit" using the established weaving-based sensory language.
*   **"She snapped her thumb and forefinger together—a sharp, impatient pop in the air—trying to find the tension she needed."** (Mid) — This provides excellent tactile reinforcement of Liora’s specific fidget/tic described in her voice profile.
*   **"The connection was a thunderclap. Liora’s scream was caught in her teeth."** (Mid) — These short, punchy sentences capture the sudden, violent shift in the character's sensory experience during the link.
*   **"The old man looked brittle. He leaned heavily on his bone-white cane, his movements hesitant. His eyes, clouded by the milky veil of indigo cataracts..."** (Late) — This passage uses strong visual cues to reinforce Maros’s deteriorating physical state as established in the character context.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it'll unravel us both."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses "watch the weave" and "unravel."
*   **Forbidden Speech?** YES. She avoids optimism; her tone is fatalistic.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. She is physically exhausted but mentally sharp/defiant.

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** "I've got... the weight. Watch the weave, Liora. Don't let the violet take us."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. He uses the term "the weight," which aligns with his role as the anchor.
*   **Forbidden Speech?** YES. No violations found.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. He is hyper-attuned to the Loom, echoing its "voices."

**Elder Maros**
*   **Quote:** "I can protect you. I can frame this as a 'Sanctioned Deviation.' I can keep the Spindle sealed against the coup."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Relies on political terminology ("Sanctioned Deviation," "narrative of control").
*   **Forbidden Speech?** YES. No violations found.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. Politically panicked and manipulative as per the arc description.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Liora’s Fatalistic Tone:** The narration maintains Liora’s refusal to see the bright side. Example: *"The ritual was done—the impossible binding achieved—but the cost was a jagged debt written in her very marrow."*
*   **Tactile Magic System:** The sensory details of the magic (lanolin, indigo dye, vibrating ribs) ground the high-concept metaphysics. Reference: *"The smell of lanolin and indigo was overwhelming now, a physical weight."*
*   **The Shared Pulse:** The mimicry between Liora and Thorne reinforces their link. Reference: *"She winced at his mimicry of her own panicked cadence..."*

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Purists are calling for a purge before the seals are even cold." (Elder Maros, Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** Earlier in the chapter, the text states the Purists are already "mobilizing to breach the spindle" and "at the airlocks." Maros saying they are "calling for a purge" makes it sound like a future political threat rather than the immediate physical siege occurring simultaneously. 
*   **FIX:** "The Purists are screaming for a purge, and they've brought the battering rams to make it happen."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Archival Guards are refusing to bring food to the spindle!"
*   **PROBLEM:** World State (ch-04) defines Archival Guards as "HOSTILE" and "jailers" during the lockdown. In a high-tension siege scene where battering rams are hitting the doors, the mention of "refusing to bring food" feels like a low-stakes continuity error that undermines the immediate danger of the coup.
*   **FIX:** "The Archival Guards have turned their pikes inward—they aren't guarding the spindle anymore, they're besieging it!"

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "I need you to hand over the control-mantle of this... this 'Dirty Circuit'."
*   **PROBLEM:** It is unclear if a "control-mantle" is a physical object (like a cloak/garment) or a metaphorical position of power. Given the weaving theme, "mantle" could be a literal Loom component.
*   **FIX:** "I need you to hand over the resonant frequency keys—transfer the control of this 'Dirty Circuit' to my terminal." (Or clarify if it's a physical cloak).

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion:** Lean harder into Thorne’s "sentient intent" secret.
*   **Quote:** *"It’s talking. It’s screaming for the weight."*
*   **Reason:** Adding a moment where Thorne hesitates to share a specific word the Loom said would better flag his "Known Secret" (Communicating with the Loom's intent—hidden from Liora).

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not move/remove the phrase "bind-bind-bind":** This is a mandatory repetition tic from Liora’s profile.
*   **Do not soften Liora's dialogue:** Her fatalism ("This knot's tightening") is a character requirement.
*   **Do not clarify the "Thirteenth Strand" mechanics further:** The confusion/heresy of the strand is an intentional part of the "Dirty Circuit" world state.

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### 8. VERDICT

**VERDICT: REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the character voices perfectly (specifically Liora's fatalism and tactile tics), but it contains continuity friction regarding the imminence of the Purist threat versus Maros’s dialogue, and a minor clarity issue regarding the "control-mantle."