### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The 440Hz vibration bloomed in Lena's vision like a bruise of blue fire, her blood threading the Siphon's gears as the salt water hissed up from the junction below."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the sensory synesthesia mentioned in the character state, blending the mechanical and the magical through a vivid, painful metaphor.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "The air was changing. The sharp, mineral tang of the sea was flooding the tomb, a corrosive ghost that threatened to dissolve the very magic Lena was trying to weave."
    *   *Commentary:* The phrase "corrosive ghost" provides a strong atmospheric link between the physical threat of the TDC salt-water purge and the metaphysical nature of the Bayou magic.
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "Glowing, translucent wisteria and cypress roots burst from the iron gears, wrapping around the pistons, clogging the intake valves with spectral moss."
    *   *Commentary:* This passage illustrates Lena's arc of "tuning" her magic to hijack the machine, providing a clear visual of the Bayou Binding/Industrial fusion.
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "She drew from his strength, from the raw, unrefined vitality of his protector’s heart. She cast the remnant of that energy into the rising dark water—a token of sweat and shared blood to keep the Drowned Man satisfied for one more hour."
    *   *Commentary:* This captures the "salt-tithe" obligation and the core principle of Bayou magic (nothing given without a price), showing her dependency on Jax.

---

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Lena Duval**
*   **Line:** "Gator's truth... The machine don't eat nothing it don't mean to kill. But the machine is just a mouth. I'm the tongue."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses "Gator's truth" as an undeniable fact.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** **YES.** She does not apologize or say "I give up."
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Hyper-focused and primal, consistent with "predator-mind" state.

**Jax Harlan**
*   **Line:** "The pressure’s redlining! If we don’t dump the bleed now, this whole sector’s going to melt!"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses tactical/mechanical language ("redlining," "dump the bleed").
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** **YES.** Adheres to tactical urgency.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Reflects his 45% arc shift: abandoning protocol ("He didn't check his HUD") for instinct.

---

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Sensory Integration:** The use of "scorched copper and dead sea-grass" (Mid) grounds the scene in the specific smells listed in the World State Metadata.
*   **The Locket as a Conflict Device:** The physical manifestation of Aunt Maribelle's interference ("The locket grew hot, a branding iron against her skin" - Mid) maintains the tension between Lena and the Coven even in a mechanical setting.
*   **Metaphorical Consistency:** Describing the Siphon as an "iron-plated cypress tree" (Mid) perfectly bridges Lena’s swamp-witch perspective with the industrial environment.

---

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The salt-tithe was still unpaid. The waters were rising because the debt was due." (Mid) / "I'm the tongue." (Early)
*   **PROBLEM:** The Project Context states that the Drowned Man (Terrebonne Siphon) is "SATISFIED -- Salt tithe accepted; he has receded into the brine." The chapter text contradicts this by saying the tithe is unpaid and the Drowned Man is still waiting/hungry.
*   **FIX:** Acknowledge that the Drowned Man *was* satisfied by the previous bypass, but the "Great Flush" (the TDC's purge) has agitated him or brought a new demand. **REWRITE:** "The salt-tithe for the bypass was paid, but the Drowned Man was stirred anew by the TDC’s purge. The water was rising because the Siphon’s balance was broken."

---

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The digital fever exploded into a blinding white light. She felt the Siphon’s 'soul'—a cold, humming void of logic and hunger." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** This happens while she has her "entire arm" in the gap of the machinery. Given the "Siphon's gears" and "iron housing" mentioned earlier, it is unclear if she is physically being crushed/mutilated or if this is purely spectral.
*   **FIX:** Clarify that her arm is reaching into the "Harmonic Bleed" or the spectral interface of the machine to avoid the reader assuming she is physically losing an limb to iron gears. **REWRITE:** "She shoved her hand into the shimmering gap of the bypass valve, her fingers brushing the cold fire of the Harmonic Bleed rather than the grinding iron."

---

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Constraint Check (Optional):** In the "Late" section, Jax says: "I got you, Lena." According to her profile, he usually uses Cajun French terms like "cher" only when he truly cares. Having him use a term of endearment here would reinforce the "protective instinct solidified" note in his character state.
    *   **Quote:** "I got you, Lena." (Late)
    *   **Suggestion:** Change to "I got you, *petite*." (Note: While "cher" is for Lena to use, Jax’s shift to her dialect would show his total acceptance of her world).

---

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Verbal Tics:** Do not remove "no no, not yet, no no" (Mid) or "no no, too much, no no" (Late). These are explicitly defined in the character sheet as her "Imperfection signature" when panicked.
*   **Dialect:** Do not "correct" the grammar in "The machine don't eat nothing it don't mean to kill." This is part of the rhythmic, clipped Cajun voice pattern.
*   **Synesthesia:** Descriptions like "bruise of blue fire" must remain; they are not "purple prose" but a literal character state (digital fever/sensory synesthesia active).

---

### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 88**
**Verdict: REVISE**
**Justification:** The chapter is atmospheric and tonally perfect for the genre, but it contains a direct continuity contradiction regarding the "Drowned Man" (Context says Satisfied/Accepted; Narrative says Unpaid/Hungry) that must be reconciled.