### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The basement hatch gaped open beneath Miller Residence, and the stairs below breathed with a rhythm that matched the flutter in Sarah’s carotid artery—fourteen beats per second, exactly—not a waveform anymore, but a predator’s respiration."
    *   **Commentary:** This effectively bridges the gap between Sarah’s analytical background and the supernatural threat by quantifying the "breathing" as the specific 14Hz frequency established in the world state.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "He smelled of ozone and old, wet iron—a scent that seemed to be sweating out of his very pores."
    *   **Commentary:** This reinforces the physical state of Elias as a "component of the Pulse" by linking his scent directly to the "metallic structural bleed" mentioned in the RAG context.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Sarah looked down at her hands. They weren't just trembling. They were vibrating so fast they appeared blurred, a shimmer of flesh and bone that was losing its solidity."
    *   **Commentary:** This vividly illustrates the "Material Corruption" rule from the world state, where objects lose density and become porous to the sound.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Sarah Miller**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "E-em-empirically speaking, blueprints don't mutate. The foundation terminates at eight feet. If the descent exceeds fifteen steps, we’re... we’re dealing with a spatial anomaly."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses "empirically speaking" and stammers initial consonants ("E-em-empirically") as per her Imperfection Signature when under stress.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns?** YES. She maintains her analytical detachment and avoids flowery supernatural affirmations.
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. She remains hyper-focused on signal navigation and blueprints even as her skepticism is breaking.

**Character: Elias Thorne**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "It’s not an anomaly. It’s a throat. We’re walking down a throat."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. His shift to more metaphorical, reverent language ("it’s a throat") aligns with his 55% arc progress—losing human priority to the environmental imperative.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Patterns?** YES. He lacks Sarah’s rigid logical qualifiers, reflecting his transition into a component of the Pulse.
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. He displays the "Transfixed/Reverent" state and the loss of fine motor control mentioned in the Character State.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Manifestation of 14Hz:** The chapter consistently treats the frequency as a physical, transformative force rather than just a sound. This is best captured in: "The device showed she was producing 14Hz harmonics through her own chest cavity, her bones acting as a tuning fork for the house."
*   **Integration of "Ghost-Looping":** The use of the digital recorder to bridge linear time is a crucial world-state rule. Reference: "The speaker emitted a single sentence in her own voice, recorded with a timestamp five minutes in the future."
*   **The Mimicry Mechanics:** The way the entity uses Sarah's own voice signature against her is both terrifying and consistent with the World State. Reference: "The voice was hers. Not just a recording... but her exact vocal signature, including the sharp, cynical edge."

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "'Elias, empirically speaking, radio ghosts aren't a thing—unless this damn hum in my skull says otherwise!'"
*   **PROBLEM:** This is Sarah's "Example line of dialogue" from her character sheet. While the mimicry *should* use her voice, having her "live" self hear this exact line from the dark creates a paradox where she is hearing a "past" line that hasn't been established in the current scene's dialogue yet. More importantly, it feels like a meta-reference to the character sheet rather than an organic moment.
*   **FIX:** Change the mimicry to a line she spoke earlier in the *story* context (e.g., from Chapter 2 or 7) or a variation of her current analytical stress.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Elias Thorne... He looked skeletal... his eyes mapped with a delta of broken capillaries."
*   **PROBLEM:** Later in the chapter, the text says: "He pointed into a branching corridor... finally meeting her eyes. They were entirely black now, the pupils blown wide by the pressure."
*   **FIX:** Ensure the description of his eyes is consistent. If they are "mapped with broken capillaries" (red) early on, the transition to "entirely black" needs a clearer "In that moment" or "As the hum intensified" transition to show the progression of the corruption.

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Sarah’s breath hitched. Mark was upstairs. He was catatonic in the living room... 'Mama?' It was Mark’s voice."
*   **PROBLEM:** The RAG context for Mark's Voice Sig states: "Character not present in ch-01 state... do not introduce without project approval." While the project description notes Mark is in the Living Room (Chapter 8), Sarah's reaction to "Mama" implies a maternal relationship that is not documented in the RAG Character Sheet for Sarah (which lists her role as "colleague-turned-potential-love-interest" and Mark as "survivor of initial resonance"). It is unclear if Sarah is Mark's mother or just reacting to a child's voice.
*   **FIX:** Clarify Sarah's relationship to Mark. If she isn't his mother, her reaction should be one of "Hearing the boy from upstairs" rather than a "Mama?" prompt that suggests a familial bond not present in the data.

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Visual Reinforcement (Optional):** "He smelled of ozone and old, wet iron." To further Lean into the "Acoustic Navigation" rule, you could emphasize that the smell peaks in intensity where the sound is loudest.
*   **Sarah’s Unpaid Obligation (Optional):** Sarah owes Elias a logical explanation (ch-02). A brief moment where she tries and fails to give one would heighten her emotional arc. Reference: "Owes Elias a logical explanation... UNPAID."

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not remove Sarah’s stutters:** Patterns like "E-e-evidently" and "Th-this frequency" are required by her Imperfection Signature.
*   **Do not "fix" the non-Euclidean geometry:** The stairs being "deeper than they should be" is a core world rule ("Spatial movement is no longer dictated by distance").
*   **Do not change the technical jargon:** Sarah using "14Hz harmonics," "carotid artery," and "spatial anomaly" is essential to her analytically detached character voice.

### 8. VERDICT

**SCORE: 82**
**JUSTIFICATION:** The chapter captures the atmosphere and world rules perfectly, but there are significant continuity/clarity issues regarding character relationships (the "Mama" line) and the eye-color descriptions that require revision to maintain a cohesive narrative.

**VERDICT: REVISE**