1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The Consummation Silk, stained with their mingled blood and fluttering like a false banner of surrender, caught the moonlight as Damien’s grip on her waist finally eased." 
    *This sentence successfully establishes the "false consummation" ruse (ch-03) while grounding the reader in the immediate sensory environment of the balcony.*
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "It was like drinking liquid starlight, a rush of stolen heat that flooded her veins and stilled the tremors in her hands."
    *The imagery effectively communicates the mechanical "recharging" effect of the blood-link while maintaining the gothic tone of the prose.*
*   **Quote 3 (Mid):** "“The 'goods' are currently under my protection. Tell Malakor that if he wishes to inspect my wife, he may do so when I deem her sufficiently rested.”"
    *The use of "goods" in air-quotes effectively mirrors the scout's dehumanizing language, emphasizing Damien’s protective but possessive arc (35%).*
*   **Quote 4 (Late):** "The blood didn't drip; it rose in the air, swirling like crimson smoke, drawn by the force of her will."
    *This provides a clear visual for the "Hemomancy" discipline described in the character sheet, showing rather than just telling the magic system.*
*   **Quote 5 (Late):** "Is it not the greatest irony, she thought, that to keep the peace, I must become the ultimate traitor?"
    *This internal monologue reinforces Isabella's "Fatal Flaw" of rigid adherence to duty while signaling the "Transformation" phase of her arc.*

2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Isabella Voss**
Line: *“Pray, do release the theatrics, Damien. The audience has retired to toast their perceived conquest. We are quite alone, are we not?”*
*   **Signature vocabulary/tics?** YES. Uses "Pray" as a sarcastic prefix and ends the reflective sentence with "is it not?" (seeking affirmation quirk).
*   **Avoids forbidden speech?** YES. No casual slang or apologies were used.
*   **Consistent with arc position?** YES. 40% arc—calculating and performatively submissive to the world, but sharp with Damien.

**Damien Blackthorn**
Line: *“I’ve always preferred heresy to tradition. Tradition would have me break you. This… this is much more interesting.”*
*   **Signature vocabulary/tics?** YES. Uses "little Voss" (mid-chapter) as a condescending but protective moniker.
*   **Avoids forbidden speech?** YES. Maintains a dark, regal tone.
*   **Consistent with arc position?** YES. 35% arc—shows the "smoldering rival" mask slipping into "profound protectiveness."

3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Mechanical Integrity of the Magic:** The chapter adheres strictly to the limitation that use of magic "etches a visible crimson scar." 
    *Reference:* "she felt the familiar, searing pain of a new scar etching itself into her shoulder, hidden by her collar."
*   **Tactical Vulnerability:** Isabella’s physical toll from the Peace Vow creates genuine stakes that prevent her from appearing too "overpowered" early in the story.
    *Reference:* "Isabella drew a breath, wincing as the movement pulled at the scorched skin of her chest where the Peace Vow had flared."
*   **The Power Dynamic:** The tension between Damien and Isabella remains correctly balanced between "allies of convenience" and "unwilling soulmates."
    *Reference:* "Damien’s expression shifted, a flicker of something that might have been admiration if it wasn't so laced with danger."

4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...the scorched skin of her chest where the Peace Vow had flared in its silent, searing rebuke."
*   **PROBLEM:** Chapter 2 and 3 established the Peace Vow as a political/magical treaty, but the *blood-ink* (which bonds Damien and Isabella) is what glows under the skin. The character sheet notes the Peace Vow "constrains direct violence," but it hasn't been established as a physical brand on her chest—scars are noted as being on her *wrists and shoulders* from hemomancy.
*   **FIX:** "Isabella drew a breath, wincing as the movement pulled at the fresh scars on her wrists where the blood-ink pact had flared in its silent, searing rebuke."

*   **ORIGINAL:** "He reached out, his fingers brushing the high collar of her gown, where the silver embroidery hid the worst of the Vow’s marks."
*   **PROBLEM:** Again, "Vow's marks" confuses the Peace Vow (global treaty) with the Hemomancy scars (personal cost).
*   **FIX:** "He reached out, his fingers brushing the high collar of her gown, where the silver embroidery hid the worst of the hemomantic scars."

5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "He looked lethargic, the usual predator’s grace dampened by the vitality he had poured into her through their pact."
*   **PROBLEM:** This contradicts the "Physical" status of Damien in the Context (ch-04), which states: "Physical: No injuries; slight sympathetic pulse from the blood-link." If he is lethargic from pouring vitality into her, his state needs to be updated.
*   **FIX:** "He watched her with a predator’s stillness, his own pulse thrumming in sympathetic rhythm with the vitality she drew from their pact." (This maintains the connection without introducing a physical injury/exhaustion state not present in the RAG DB).

6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Optional (Relationship Pacing):** One line suggests they are "becoming a single organism." Given they are only at 35-40% arc, this might be slightly premature.
    *Reference:* "We are becoming a single organism, Damien. A beautiful, lethal heresy."
    *Suggestion:* Consider softening to "We are becoming two threads in a single, tangled web."

7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not remove "is it not?" or "Pray":** These are identified in the Voice Signature as mandatory quirks for Isabella.
*   **Do not remove the "False Heir" plot point:** This is a logical escalation of the "false consummation" ruse (ch-03) and fits the political climate.
*   **Do not "soften" Damien:** His "predatory" nature and "cynical" emotional state are core to his 35% arc position.

8. VERDICT: REVISE
SCORE: 82/100
EXPLANATION: The chapter is atmospherically strong and nails the character voices, but contains significant terminology confusion between the "Peace Vow" (external treaty) and the "Blood-ink/Hemomancy scars" (internal magic cost), which constitutes a continuity/world-rule violation.