### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The concrete and steel of the old TDC structure were gone, dissolved by the Grand Recession into a Biological Cathedral."
    *   *Commentary:* This efficiently bridges the World State terminology with high-impact imagery, establishing the permanent shift in setting.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "A single drop of thick, amber-colored fluid—not quite blood, not quite resin—fell into the air."
    *   *Commentary:* This tactile detail reinforces Lena's physical transformation into "bioluminescent parchment" and her hybrid organic-digital nature.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The probe's circuits didn't just fail; they were metabolized. The silicon turned to sand, the plastic to mulch."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides a concrete mechanical explanation for how the "Great Silence" functions, showing rather than just telling the ecosystem's dominance.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Lena Duval**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "By the bayou's bones, if the tether frays, we all drown in the black oil they want to bring back. G-Gator's truth."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. Uses "By the bayou's bones" (furious/upset) and "Gator's truth" (undeniable fact).
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech:** YES. She does not say "I give up" or apologize.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. She displays the "Serenity/Bayou Nirvana" described in her [character-state] while maintaining her specific verbal tics.
*   **Imperfection Signature:** YES. The profile notes she repeats words when panicked. The text reflects this mid-chapter: "It holds... it holds... no no, don't let the rhythm break, no no."

**Character: Jax Harlan**
*   **Dialogue Quote:** "The machinery is sinking fast. It’ll be part of the reef by morning."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** YES. His voice is "gravelly" and focused on the elimination of terrestrial intrusions, matching his "Apex Guardian" role.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech:** YES.
*   **Emotional Register:** YES. His "absolute clarity" and "shed corporate identity" are evident in his dismissal of "corporate noise."

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Sensory Grounding:** The insistence on Lena’s smell ("Always smells faintly of magnolia and mud") is successfully integrated: "The heavy scent of magnolia and wet earth shifted."
*   **Thematic Closure:** The transition of the Duval Coven from antagonists to "priesthood of biological maintenance" provides a strong resolution to the faction attitudes mentioned in the RAG context.
*   **Physical Transformation Imagery:** The description of Lena’s skin as "bioluminescent parchment" (Early) perfectly matches the [character-state] requirement for Ch-17.

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Lena twisted the silver locket around her finger. The metal felt strangely cold against her transformed skin..." (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** The Voice Signature [Notes for Writers] states: "Physical habit or tell: Twists a silver locket... when **lying or hiding emotions**—readers spot it as her guilt signal." In this scene, Lena is experiencing "Bayou Nirvana" and "total clarity," yet she performs her guilt-tell while reflecting on her mother’s death—a topic the text says she now "understands." This creates a conflict between her supposed transformation and her physical habit of hiding guilt.
*   **FIX:** Replace the action with a grounding tactile gesture that reflects her new state.
    *   *Correction:* "Lena’s fingers trailed over the moss-slicked bark of the Heart Tree, grounding her spirit in the pulse of the wood. The silver locket hung still against her chest, no longer a weight of guilt, but a sealed memory."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "A silver-white mist curled from her palm, rolling across the floor of the cathedral, thickening until the coven was knee-deep in a shimmering illusion of the deep swamp." (Mid)
*   **PROBLEM:** The [Magic/Power] section states Lena's magic "drains her vitality (fevers, visions)." In this chapter, she performs a massive illusion and "metabolizes" a drone with ease. While she is "Transcended," the lack of any physical cost or the specific "fevers" mentioned in her limitations makes the magic feel unearned or the limitation forgotten.
*   **FIX:** Add a brief mention of the heat or the visionary strain this takes on her hybrid form.
    *   *Correction:* "A silver-white mist curled from her palm... As the illusion took hold, a brief, familiar fever flared behind Lena's eyes—the price the land always took for its breath—but she folded the heat into the Heart Tree’s cooling sap."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** In the late-chapter dialogue, Lena calls Jax "cher." While appropriate for her relationship, the Voice Signature says she uses Cajun French "only for those she truly cares for." To heighten the impact of their "100% Arc" completion, Jax could respond with a non-corporate, grounding observation about the swamp to show they are in total sync.
*   **Reference:** "You saw them off, mon cœur?" (Late).

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do not "fix" the repetition:** "no no, don't let the rhythm break, no no" (Mid) is a specific character imperfection signal from the Voice Signature and must remain.
*   **Do not modernize the dialogue:** The "clipped and rhythmic like bayou chants" speech pattern (e.g., "Vines seek the stone, stone feeds the vine") is a core magic principle and must be preserved.
*   **Do not remove the "Gator's Truth" tics:** These are mandatory verbal signatures.

### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter captures the atmosphere and character arcs perfectly, but it contains a significant Voice Signature continuity error regarding the "silver locket" (using a guilt-tell when the character is at peace) and fails to address the "vitality drain" limitation of the magic system. Consistent application of the "Notes for Writers" is required for a PASS.