### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The cooling fans of the Loom were dying, replaced by the wet, rhythmic thrum of the Thirteenth Strand—a frequency that didn't belong in this world, a sound like a giant’s lungs filling with silt."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively establishes the "Dirty Circuit" through a visceral auditory metaphor that reinforces the metaphysical horror of the setting.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "The gravity shifted—a side effect of the indigo contagion. Tool kits on the workbench drifted upward, their contents spilling like slow-motion rain."
    *   *Commentary:* This provides clear visual evidence of the world-state "Indigo Contagion" and its physical impact on the environment.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "Far above, a sickening crack echoed. The High Observation Gallery’s reinforced glass didn't shatter—it unraveled. The shards fell like ribbons of silk."
    *   *Commentary:* The prose successfully leans into the textile-based magic system by describing structural failure through weaving terminology.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Character: Liora Voss**
*   **Line:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it'll unravel us both."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses weaving metaphors ("fate's hem," "weave," "unravel"). 
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech?** YES. She does not say "It'll all work out" or "Fate will decide," maintaining her fatalistic tone.
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. She is hyper-focused and defiant, in line with her Arc (30%) and active obligations.

**Character: Thorne Quill**
*   **Line:** "Liora, the Loom... it isn't broken. It’s awake."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Aligns with his secret "sentient intent" communication.
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech?** N/A (No specific forbidden patterns in profile).
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. Resolute and protective, fulfilling his role as the "anchor-weight."

**Character: Elder Maros**
*   **Line:** "They'll unbind us all if you don't knot this heresy shut!"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses "unbind" and "knot," mirroring the Conclave's vernacular.
*   **Avoids Forbidden Speech?** N/A.
*   **Consistent Emotional Register?** YES. Displays the "political panic" noted in his Character State.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Physicality of the Bond:** The description of the violet tether as a physical burden is excellent. 
    *   *Reference:* "The violet tether throbbed in Liora's left palm like a second heartbeat, yanking her frayed thread into Thorne's vibrating chest..."
*   **Liora’s Fatalism:** Her refusal to use hopeful language preserves the "No Optimism" rule in her profile.
    *   *Reference:* "There is no 'out,' Thorne. There is only the bind."
*   **Sensory Magic System:** Relying on smells (lanolin/indigo) and sounds (low-level sentience) grounds the abstract magic.
    *   *Reference:* "The smell of lanolin and scorched indigo dye was so thick it was a taste..."

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Liora muttered, her hand going to her hair, frantically শুরু braiding a small section near her temple." (Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** Language contamination. The word "শুরু" (Bengali for "start/begin") appears to be a stray character or copy-paste error not belonging to the English prose.
*   **FIX:** "Liora muttered, her hand going to her hair, frantically beginning to braid a small section near her temple."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "A sudden, violent lurch threw Liora against the console. The gravity slammed back to normal, dropping the floating tools and Liora herself to the cold stone floor." (Mid-Late)
*   **PROBLEM:** This creates a slight confusion regarding Liora’s physical position. Earlier in the scene, she "slammed her back against the central diagnostic console," then later her feet "lift inches off the floor." The "violent lurch" doesn't specify if she is being thrown *again* or if this is the resolution of the earlier levitation.
*   **FIX:** "A sudden, violent lurch threw Liora back against the console as the gravity slammed back to normal, dropping the floating tools and slamming Liora to the cold stone floor."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Optional (Liora's Voice):** In the mid-section, Liora says "It’s a tangle, Thorne, and I’m going to comb it out." While this fits the weaving theme, her profile mentions she uses "clipped commands" during rituals.
    *   *Quote:* "It’s a tangle, Thorne. I’m combing it out. Resonate. Resonate-resonate-resonate." (Removing "and I'm going to" makes it punchier).

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **DO NOT** fix the repetition of "Resonate. Resonate-resonate-resonate." This is an intentional "Imperfection signature" (repeating key words when panicked) identified in Liora's Character Sheet.
*   **DO NOT** change Liora's abrasive attitude toward Maros. Her "compulsive need to fix" makes her alienate others, which is a core character flaw.
*   **DO NOT** remove the Personification of threads (e.g., "The red thread whispers betrayal" in the profile, or "the Loom... it’s afraid" in the text). This is a specific speech quirk.

### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 88**
The chapter is atmospheric and adheres strictly to character profiles and world-state constraints. However, the presence of a non-English word ("শুরু") and a minor positioning clarity issue requires at least one minor revision cycle. Evidence of the "Resonate" repetition correctly follows the character signature.