### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE

*   **Quote 1 (Early):** "The cooling fans of the Loom were dying, replaced by the wet, rhythmic thrum of the Thirteenth Strand—a frequency that didn't belong in this world, a sound like a giant’s lungs filling with silt."
    *   **Commentary:** This effectively uses the "winding metaphor" from Liora’s profile while grounding the abstract magic in visceral, auditory discomfort.
*   **Quote 2 (Mid):** "The gravity shifted—a side effect of the indigo contagion. Tool kits on the workbench drifted upward, their contents spilling like slow-motion rain."
    *   **Commentary:** This passage lacks the tension present in the rest of the scene; the "slow-motion rain" simile feels a bit generic compared to the high-stakes "Dirty Circuit" established earlier.
*   **Quote 3 (Late):** "The High Observation Gallery’s reinforced glass didn't shatter—it unraveled. The shards fell like ribbons of silk."
    *   **Commentary:** This is a fantastic execution of the world-rule where physical objects take on the characteristics of thread, heightening the sense of reality breaking down.

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### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Liora Voss**
*   **Quote:** "You can't just pull at fate's hem like it's your favorite cloak—watch the weave, or it'll unravel us both."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses "weave," "unravel," and "fate's hem." Mentions her specific signature line from the profile.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech?** YES. She avoids optimism; her tone remains fatalistic and focused on "fixing" the connection.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. She is at 30% arc—striving for control while her "compulsive need to fix" causes her to squeeze Thorne too hard.

**Thorne Quill**
*   **Quote:** "It’s... choking... the hum..."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. He is "attuned to Loom sentience" and uses sensory language like "hum."
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech?** YES. (No specific prohibitions in profile).
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. He is resolutely acting as the bridge/anchor despite physical agony.

**Elder Maros**
*   **Quote:** "Voss, the Purists have reached the outer silos! They’ve declared the Spindle a site of spiritual rot!"
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics?** YES. Uses "Purists" and expresses "political panic" consistent with his profile.
*   **Avoid Forbidden Speech?** YES.
*   **Emotional Register?** YES. He is desperate and leaning on his bone-white cane, as per the character state.

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### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **The Physical Manifestation of Magic:** The description of the indigo staining ("watching the indigo bruising crawl toward her mid-bicep like ink spilled on parchment") is excellent body horror that reinforces the cost of the binding.
*   **Liora’s Compulsive Tics:** The repetition of "Resonate. Resonate-resonate-resonate" and the frantic braiding of her hair ("frantically শুরু braiding a small section near her temple") perfectly align with her imperfection signature and panic responses.

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### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...frantically শুরু braiding a small section near her temple."
*   **PROBLEM:** Language contamination. The word "শুরু" (Bengali for "start/begin") appears to be a copy-paste error or an accidental inclusion of non-English text.
*   **FIX:** "...frantically beginning to braid a small section near her temple."

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### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The violet tether throbbed in Liora's left palm like a second heartbeat, yanking her frayed thread into Thorne's vibrating chest..."
*   **PROBLEM:** This establishes the tether's physical location in the left palm, but earlier in the RAG Context/Character State, it mentions the "left palm aperture pulsing violet." However, later in the chapter, the text says: "then grounding it into the Spindle’s floor through the aperture in her palm." It is slightly unclear if she is grounding through her palm *while* the palm is connected to Thorne, or if the tether originates elsewhere on her body. 
*   **FIX:** Clarify the physical geometry: "The violet tether stretched from the aperture in Liora's left palm to Thorne's chest, and she pressed her bleeding hand against the floor to ground the excess frequency."

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### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Suggestion (Optional):** "Tool kits on the workbench drifted upward, their contents spilling like slow-motion rain."
*   **Reasoning:** To better match Liora's voice, the items shouldn't just drift; they should move like "loose threads caught in a draft." 
*   **Fix:** "Tool kits on the workbench drifted upward, their contents spilling and suspended like loose snags in the air."

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### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do not "normalize" Liora’s panic speech:** Phrases like "Resonate. Resonate-resonate-resonate" and "Bind-bind-bind" are intentional character signatures from the Voice Profile and must stay.
*   **Do not make Liora more likable:** Her snapping at Thorne ("Stop talking to it like it’s a god!") and her "compulsive need to fix" at the expense of his comfort are essential to her arc of learning vulnerability.
*   **Keep the terminology intact:** Use of "Dirty Circuit," "Thirteenth Strand," and "Frayback" are core world-building elements.

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### 8. VERDICT

**REVISE**
**SCORE: 82**
**Justification:** The chapter is tonally perfect and adheres strictly to the Voice Signatures and Project Context. However, the inclusion of non-English text ("শুরু") is a significant continuity/prose error that must be removed for a professional manuscript. Minor clarity issues regarding the tether's physical "grounding" also need a quick polish.