### 1. PROSE EVIDENCE
*   **Early:** "The sound was an iron punctuation mark, the final clause in a treaty written with her own vitality."
    *   *Commentary:* This effectively utilizes legal/contractual metaphors to reinforce the "annexation" theme of the chapter.
*   **Mid:** "Damien stepped out from the shadows of a fluted pillar, moving with a predatory vitality that made Isabella’s skin crawl."
    *   *Commentary:* This establishes the physical threat and "predatory" nature of the antagonist as defined in his character state.
*   **Late:** "The silk of her glove darkened instantly, the deep crimson stain blooming across the white fabric like a macabre flower."
    *   *Commentary:* The visual contrast emphasizes the "blood" motif and the failure of Isabella's "Undamaged Vessel" facade.

### 2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT
**Isabella Voss**
*   **Quote:** "Pray, do not let my silence be mistaken for compliance. ... It is a touch inconvenient to be the subject of such pedestrian scrutiny so late in the evening."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses the sarcastic "Pray" and the stress-scale phrase "a touch inconvenient" as per her Voice Signature.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** **YES.** Avoids casual slang; maintains elegant sentence length.
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Consistent with "managed defiance" and her 15% arc transition.
*   **Note:** Her repetition of "is it not?" in the late-chapter dialogue ("It is a lonely habit, is it not?") confirms the "imperfect signature" noted in her profile.

**Damien Blackthorn**
*   **Quote:** "Pliable is a generous word, Uncle... I find her more akin to a violin string."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Displays the "cruelly intrigued" and "sadistic" tone mentioned in his character state.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** **YES.**
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Focused on "dismantling Isabella’s composure."

**Lord Reginald Thorne**
*   **Quote:** "I will not have our investment compromised by a vessel that leaks its power before it can be harvested."
*   **Signature Vocabulary/Tics:** **YES.** Uses "acquisitive" and "commanding" language.
*   **Forbidden Speech Patterns:** **YES.**
*   **Emotional Register:** **YES.** Architect of the annexation; treats Isabella as an asset.

### 3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **The Internal Monologue Motif:** The italicized repetition of "*Blood. Blood and silk. Blood and stone.*" and "*Blood, blood, don't let it drip.*" captures Isabella's panic/obsession as defined in her "Imperfection signature."
*   **Physical Habit Consistency:** The scene where she "tightened her grip on her skirts" and "traces the edge of the vow-sealed locket" aligns perfectly with the "Physical habit or tell" section of her Voice Signature.
*   **The Visual Reveal:** Damien’s crushing of her wrist ("Damien’s hand suddenly shot out, grasping her wrist... the deep crimson stain blooming") is a high-stakes payoff for the "Known Secrets" regarding her hidden bleeding.

### 4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The silk of her glove darkened instantly, the deep crimson stain blooming across the white fabric like a macabre flower."
*   **PROBLEM:** Earlier in the chapter, the gown is described as "obsidian velvet." While the gloves are "silk," the color of the gloves is not specified until this moment when they are called "white." However, the [character-state] says: "silk gloves saturated with blood." If they were already saturated, the "blooming" of a stain wouldn't be a sudden reveal to Damien.
*   **FIX:** Clarify that the gloves were ivory/white to hide the saturation until pressure caused the bleed-through. "The ivory silk of her glove, previously holding its secret, darkened instantly..."

### 5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Peace Vow thrummed within her marrow... it was a phantom whip, reminding her that her will was no longer her own."
*   **PROBLEM:** The mechanical consequences of the Vow are slightly muddy. It is described as punishing "hostility" and "unkindness," but also as a "Peace Vow."
*   **FIX:** Explicitly link the Vow's activation to the "non-aggression" clause mentioned in the World State. "The Peace Vow flared—the price of harboring a violent thought against her new kin—scorching her throat..."

### 6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Suggestion:** Enhance the transition to the bedroom.
*   **Quote:** "He pushed the door open, revealing a room lit by a dying fire..."
*   **Reasoning:** Adding a brief mention of the "Vow-Sealed Locket" vibrating or feeling heavier as they enter the private space would reinforce her "grounding object" mentioned in the Artifacts list.

### 7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Do Not Change:** Isabella’s repetition of "is it not?" and her internal repetitions of "blood." These are intentionally coded panic responses and "seeking ghostly affirmation" as per her Voice Signature.
*   **Do Not Change:** Damien's use of "little bird" or predatory language; this reflects his 08% arc as a tormentor.
*   **Do Not Change:** The lack of an apology from Isabella. Her profile explicitly states: "Never grovel or apologize profusely—she issues regal corrections instead." Her "It is a touch inconvenient" line is a perfect "regal correction."

### 8. VERDICT: REVISE
**SCORE: 88**
**Justification:** The prose is evocative and character voices are nearly identical to their profiles, but there is a minor continuity clash regarding the "saturated" gloves vs. the "clean" white gloves that suddenly show a stain, and the mechanical clarity of the Peace Vow's trigger needs a sharper link to the "non-aggression" world rule.