### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE

*   **Distinct Character Voicing:** The differentiation between Marcus’s "Diagnostic" internal monologue and David/Miller’s cardinal-direction grounding is sharp and consistent.
    *   *Marcus:* "System state: Analog permanence. It’s... it’s a hardcopy of a sound." (Perfectly captures his transition from digital to physical metaphors).
    *   *Miller:* "She’s a pre-index relic, Thorne... No RFID tags, no tracking chips." (Strong world-building through dialogue).
    *   *David:* "The wind’s shiftin' North-by-Northwest... Before the humidity climbs and the rope starts to weep." (Classic Arthur-legacy phrasing).
*   **Sensory Economy:** The description of the bell as a "deadweight of cast iron that smelled of woodsmoke" and an "oxide-red beast" establishes the physical stakes immediately.
*   **The Technical/Metaphorical Bridge:** The use of "Architecture of Friction" to describe the rigging elevates a mechanical task into a thematic climax.
*   **Voice Signature Verification:**
    *   **Marcus:** YES. (The 4-beat thigh tap and "Error 404" status codes are perfectly aligned with his sheet).
    *   **Sarah:** YES. (The Texas lilt surfacing and her "Triage" focus are distinct).
    *   **Elena:** YES. (The "slop variable" and serrated tone match her mechanical-spiritual blend).
    *   **David:** YES. (Cardinal directions and "tectonic deliberation").

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### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY

*   **The Alpha-7 "Empathy Protocol" Conflict:** In Ch-01/Context, it says Sarah *knows* the protocols were a lie to facilitate mass firings. In this draft, she asks Marcus to "Triage the risk" and looks for "God-tier arrogance." While the emotional beat works, her dialogue in the "Texas lilt" feels slightly too softened given she has "weaponized that detachment" (per Character State).
    *   *Correction:* Add a sharper edge to her interaction with Marcus. She shouldn't just be "hopeful"; she should be "watching for the glitch."
*   **The Sovereign Mesh vs. The Bell:** The World State notes the bell creates a mechanical "shiver" in the Mesh. The text says "even the hum of the Sovereign Mesh seemed to vibrate in sympathy." This is good, but Marcus says the city "won't hear it." Per the Avery-Quinn "Blinded" status in RAG, the bell is actively interfering with their scans.
    *   *Correction:* Ensure Marcus's denial of the city hearing it is framed as a *choice* or a *technical masking*, rather than literal impossibility, as the Mesh *is* detecting it.

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### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY

*   **The Hoist Mechanics:** "We need to hit exactly three thousand PSI of tension on the primary hoist just to get it off Miller’s sled without cracking the joists."
    *   *Problem:* The logic here is slightly garbled. PSI is pressure; tension in a rope is usually measured in pounds-force or tons. If they are worried about cracking the "joists," that refers to the belfry structure, not the sled.
    *   *Fix:* ORIGINAL → SUGGESTED: "We need to maintain a three-thousand-pound load on the primary hoist..." Rationale: Focus on the weight/tension rather than PSI unless referring specifically to the hydraulic tractor lift.

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### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS

*   **Dialogue Tightening (Marcus/Elena):**
    *   *ORIGINAL:* "You’re talking about pressure. I’m thinking about latency. If the rope stretches, the lift timing fails."
    *   *SUGGESTED:* "Pressure vs. Latency. If the rope stretches, the cycle de-syncs."
    *   *Rationale:* Marcus is "clipped and analytical." Removing the "You’re talking about..." makes it punchier and more in-voice.
*   **Ending Rhythm:** The final two paragraphs repeat the "sound traveling/staying" concept twice.
    *   *SUGGESTED:* Consolidate the "copper-tasting proof" into the penultimate paragraph to end on the "pulse in the world."

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### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS

*   **Do NOT remove Marcus's narrating of his own diagnostics.** It is his imperfection signature (e.g., "Error 404: Structural certainty not found"). Even if it feels "on the nose," it is essential to his specific character arc (220% transition).
*   **Do NOT "correct" Miller or Helen's dialect.** The dropped 'g' (e.g., "larnin'", "hiddin'") is an intentional regression/regionalism noted in the Arthur/Helen legacy profiles.
*   **Do NOT smooth out the industrial metaphors.** The comparison of the bell to "industrial artillery" is key to the "Cypress Bend" aesthetic of salvaged history.

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### 6. VERDICT

**PASS**
(The continuity/clarity items are minor technical calibrations and do not require a structural rewrite of the scene.)