Hello. I’m Lane. Let’s look at Chapter 10.

This is the "Full Integration" chapter, and the prose needs to reflect a shift from professional friction to elemental fusion. You’ve captured the atmosphere of the courtyard well, but the transition from magical ritual to physical intimacy is currently leaning on a few genre clichés that dampen the impact of their unique powers.

Here is my line-level audit of **Chapter 10: Midnight Practices**.

### 1. STRENGTHS
*   **The Sensory Logic of Magic:** I particularly liked the description of Mira’s relationship with temperature: *"the temperature was a suggestion she chose to ignore."* It establishes her mastery without needing a long list of credentials.
*   **The Shared Vulnerability:** The psychic exchange—Mira’s childhood fire and Dorian’s "structural weakness"—provides the necessary emotional weight to justify their physical attraction. It moves the relationship beyond "enemies who are hot" to "enemies who finally understand each other."
*   **Atmospheric Opening:** The first sentence is excellent. Using the boots to turn frost into "jagged, beautiful glass" immediately establishes Dorian’s power as transformative rather than just additive.

### 2. CONCERNS & LINE EDITS

**Priority 1: Dialogue Tags and "Doing Double Duty"**
Some of your tags are carrying adverbs that the dialogue should be doing on its own, or are using "growls" and "hisses" that feel a bit dated for a modern YA/Adult crossover.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *"Easy," Dorian hissed, his grip tightening.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *"Easy." Dorian’s grip tightened.* 
*   **RATIONALE:** "Hissed" is a common trap. Sibilant sounds (S's) allow for a hiss, but the dialogue "Easy" doesn't naturally support the tag. Let the action of his grip tightening convey the intensity.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *"I think we've moved past the fine print," Dorian countered, his voice dropping to a seductive growl.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *"I think we've moved past the fine print." Dorian's voice dropped, the sharp edge of his authority softening into something darker.*
*   **RATIONALE:** "Seductive growl" is a romance cliché that pulls the reader out of the specific magic of your world. Describe the *effect* of the voice rather than labeling it.

**Priority 2: Precise Nouns vs. Vague Adjectives**
In several places, you use "very" or generic adjectives where a stronger noun or verb would create a sharper image.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *...the intense intensity in his sapphire eyes made her breath hitch.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *...the hunger in his sapphire eyes made her breath hitch.*
*   **RATIONALE:** Using "intensity" to describe something "intense" is a tautology. 

*   **ORIGINAL:** *The weight of his words settled between them.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *The weight of his words anchored them to the stone.*
*   **RATIONALE:** "Settled between them" is filler. Give the weight a physical consequence.

**Priority 3: The "Physics" of the Kiss**
The transition into the kiss uses some "purple prose" that muddles the actual physical sensation.

*   **ORIGINAL:** *The taste of winter mint and woodsmoke. The feeling of a wildfire meeting a blizzard and creating a storm that could reshape the stars.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *The taste of winter mint and woodsmoke. It was the friction of a wildfire meeting a blizzard—a storm that threatened to scuttle the very ground beneath them.*
*   **RATIONALE:** "Reshape the stars" is a bit too abstract for a moment that should feel grounded and visceral. Keep the stakes in the courtyard.

**Priority 4: Economy of Motion**
*   **ORIGINAL:** *Mira shifted her grip, sliding her palms up to his forearms.*
*   **SUGGESTED:** *Mira slid her palms up his forearms.*
*   **RATIONALE:** "Shifted her grip" is a redundant movement. We know she's moving her hands because she's sliding them.

### 3. VERDICT

**POLISH NEEDED**

The chapter hits the required emotional beats for a finale/penultimate chapter. The "Weave" is a great metaphor for their relationship. However, the prose needs a "tightness" pass to remove romance-novel stock phrases ("seductive growl," "knees weak," "dark with hunger"). If you sharpen these descriptions to be as unique as your "jagged glass" opening, the chapter will feel high-end and cinematic.

**One final note:** Ensure the "metallic clink" at the end is distinct. Is it a key or a weapon? If this is the cliffhanger, the sound needs to be unmistakable to the reader even if it's a mystery to the characters.