Hello. Lane here. I’ve gone through the fifth chapter of *Cypress Bend*. 

The atmosphere is thick—I can practically feel the Florida humidity on my collar. You’ve captured the "pre-grit" of a pioneer story well. However, the prose occasionally trips over its own feet with repetitive imagery and dialogue that explains things the reader has already deduced. 

Here is my line-level audit.

### 1. STRENGTHS
*   **Atmospheric Sensory Detail:** You have a sharp eye for the specific textures of the South. The "sugar sand," "tea-colored eddies," and "saw palmetto" grounding the reader effectively in the setting.
*   **The Bridge as Metaphor:** Using the bridge as a "trembling threshold" between civilization and the unknown is a strong, recurring motif that provides a physical heartbeat to the narrative.
*   **Character Contrast:** The dynamic between Arthur (the zealot) and David (the pragmatist) is clear. Arthur’s "feverish intensity" vs. David’s "rhythmic reminder of forty years" creates immediate, sustainable tension.

### 2. CONCERNS

**I. Metaphor Overload (Economy)**
There is a tendency to use two or three metaphors where one would suffice. This slows the rhythm and dilutes the impact of your best descriptions.
*   **ORIGINAL:** "...the rusted hinge screaming a protest that echoed off the cypress knees."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "...the rusted hinge screaming against the silence of the cypress knees." 
*   **RATIONALE:** "Protest" is a bit of a cliché in Southern Gothic/Rural Noir. Let the sound speak for itself. Similarly, describing the bridge as "spiderwebs and spite" and "the skeleton of the county’s forgotten promises" in the same breaths is too much "poetry" for a single moment.

**II. Dialogue Tags and Adverbial Clutter**
I flagged several instances where the dialogue tag or a modifying adverb is doing work the dialogue should do on its own.
*   **ORIGINAL:** "...Arthur said, his voice dropping an octave, smoothed out by the kind of reverence usually reserved for Sunday morning pews."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "...Arthur said, his voice dropping to a Sunday-morning hush."
*   **RATIONALE:** You’re over-explaining the tone. Trust the reader to hear the reverence in his dialogue.
*   **ORIGINAL:** "“I’m in,” David said, the words feeling heavy in his mouth."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "“I’m in.” David didn’t look up." (Or just "I'm in.")
*   **RATIONALE:** We already know the weight of the moment. We don't need to be told the words feel heavy.

**III. Rhythmical Redundancy**
*   **QUOTE:** "He reached down and scooped up a handful of the soil. It wasn't the rich, black dirt... It was gray sand... It just poured through his fingers..."
*   **CRITIQUE:** We get three versions of "this isn't good soil." You can compress this into one tactile moment. If it’s gray sand that doesn't hold a shape, we already know it’s not the Midwest or the Carolinas. Show us David’s disappointment through his hands, skip the geography lesson.

**IV. Logic and "The Tell"**
*   **QUOTE:** "David felt a cold shiver that had nothing to do with the evening air."
*   **CRITIQUE:** This is a "Writing 101" trope. If David is looking at his brother’s "uncompromising profile" and realizing Arthur views the bridge as a "tactical advantage," the reader will already feel that shiver. You don't need to describe the physical reaction.

### 3. LINE-LEVEL SUGGESTIONS

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The river was high, dragging a bloated oak limb downstream with the slow, inevitable grace of a funeral procession."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "The river was high, dragging a bloated oak limb with the slow grace of a funeral."
*   **RATIONALE:** "Inevitable" and "procession" are extra weight. "Slow grace of a funeral" is a more striking rhythm.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The Realtor, a man named Henderson who wore a sweat-stained short-sleeved dress shirt and an expression of profound regret..."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "Henderson, the Realtor, wore a sweat-stained dress shirt and an expression of profound regret."
*   **RATIONALE:** "A man named" is filler. Get straight to the man.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...checking his watch with frantic frequency."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "...checking his watch every thirty seconds."
*   **RATIONALE:** "Frantic frequency" is a weak, alliterative phrase. Give us a specific action that shows his impatience.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The bridge groaned. David could hear the scream of the rebar and the shifting of the concrete pilings..."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "The bridge groaned, rebar screaming against shifting concrete."
*   **RATIONALE:** Direct action is punchier than "David could hear."

### VERDICT: POLISH NEEDED
The "bones" of this chapter are excellent. The tension at the end with the truck on the bridge is a fantastic hook. However, the prose is currently a bit "thick"—too many adjectives and over-explained internal emotions. Shave 10% of the word count by cutting the adverbs and redundant metaphors, and this will be a high-velocity read.