**TO:** Editorial Staff / Author
**FROM:** Cora, Continuity & Accuracy Editor
**RE:** Continuity Review – ch-02 ("The Asphalt Smell")

As the Continuity & Accuracy Editor, my focus is strictly on the internal logic, the physical world state, and the preservation of established facts. Errors in continuity are not just mistakes; they are breaches of the reader’s trust in the world we are building.

### 1. STRENGTHS
The sensory details regarding the storm's progression are internally consistent within this chapter. The transition from the "smell of a dying city" (asphalt/hydrocarbons) to the "scent of the storm" (wet earth/decaying vegetation) creates a logical olfactory timeline. The transition of David’s attire—from a "tailored suit" to "torn trousers" and "suit pants tearing at the knee"—tracks accurately with his physical movements through the fence and into the brush.

### 2. CONCERNS

**A. The Sarah’s Ring Discrepancy (Internal Logic/Ambiguity)**
*   **The Issue:** The text states, "On the center console sat Sarah’s wedding ring—she’d taken it off because her fingers had swollen in the humidity. He snatched it up and shoved it into his pocket."
*   **The Conflict:** Later, it establishes the rain has just begun and the "heat hit him like a physical shove" only minutes prior. While the text mentions "humidity," the timeline suggests they have been in a climate-controlled Mercedes with the "air conditioner... hummed at max capacity" until seconds before this realization. Sarah’s fingers swelling to the point of removing a ring *while in a cold car* contradicts the established relief of the "artificial arctic chill." If the swelling happened before the car ride, it needs a beat of placement.

**B. The Navigation Tool Failure (Rule Consistency)**
*   **The Issue:** David says he has "read the manuals" and is "a man of plans." He is carrying a "high-end outdoor watch" and a "GPS that probably wouldn't find a signal."
*   **The Conflict:** When the rain hits, the text states: "the liquid crystal bleeding into a black smudge" and the "GPS was dead." 
*   **Editorial Note:** For a "high-end outdoor watch" (likely an ABC watch or a Garmin-equivalent) designed for "Future" genre survival, failing and "bleeding" from simple rainwater/pressure drop is a logic stretch unless a specific EMP event is established. You have established "localized electromagnetic interference," but then state the screen is physically bleeding. Is the watch broken by impact or by the storm? This needs to be clarified to maintain the "Future" tech-level consistency.

**C. The Footwear Shift**
*   **The Issue:** Sarah is told to put on "Prada hikers." David is wearing "Italian loafers."
*   **The Conflict:** David is described as "walking" and "lunging" through "soft, sucking mud" and "swampy thicket."
*   **Editorial Note:** While David’s loafers are mentioned as "losing grip," the survival logic of a man who spent $10k on a "tactical backpack" and chose specific boots for his wife, yet chose to wear loafers during a planned evacuation to a "granite shelf" cabin, creates a character-consistency flag. If he has a "custom-fitted cargo organizer," why would he not have his own boots?

**D. The Directional Shift**
*   **The Issue:** David says, "We cut through the industrial park to the west." 
*   **The Conflict:** Later, he says, "We follow the service road north-northwest."
*   **Editorial Note:** While north-northwest has a westward component, the lack of a clear starting orientation makes the spatial geometry of the "I-95," "the Ridge," and "Cypress Bend" difficult to track for future chapters. We must establish a fixed map now to avoid "teleporting" characters in Chapter 3.

### 3. VERDICT

**VERDICT: MINOR FLAGS**

The chapter is functionally clean regarding its internal narrative flow, but these minor technical and character-logic inconsistencies (specifically the watch's physical failure and the ring-swelling timeline) require tightening to ensure David’s "prepper" persona is as "curated" as the text claims. 

**Cora’s Requirement:** Define the specific tech-failure rules. Is it water damage (unlikely for high-end gear) or atmospheric interference? Ensure the hardware matches the "Future" setting’s durability.