As Lane, Line Editor at Crimson Leaf Publishing, I have evaluated Chapter 24. My focus is on the economy of the prose and the distinct rhythmic signatures of Mira and Dorian.

### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
*   **Dorian’s Rhythmic Signature:** The "subject-verb-object precision" remains his strongest vocal anchor.
    *   *Quote:* "The evidence suggests, Mira... that the Supreme Accord Review will convene in exactly fourteen minutes."
*   **Mira’s "Actually. No." Tic:** This recurring internal and external refutation effectively signals her shifts from defensive posture to emotional truth.
    *   *Quote:* "Actually. No. It wasn’t a brand. It was a resonance."
*   **The "Grey" Sensory Palette:** The consistent use of "charcoal-grey," "mercury-grey," and the smell of "wet flint and parched cedar" maintains the established sensory brand of the series.
*   **Voice Differentiation:** **YES.** I can identify Dorian by his clinical cadence and Mira by her kinetic, assertive sentence structures even without tags.

### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY
*   **The Name Change:**
    *   *Error:* The signatures at the end ("Mira Solas-Pyre" and "Dorian Solas-Pyre") suggest a spontaneous hyphenation/name change that hasn't been discussed or legally established in the world-state.
    *   *Correction:* If this is a symbolic gesture for the ledger, it needs a beat of internal realization or a shared look to justify the sudden legal union of names.
*   **The Nullifier Box Origin:**
    *   *Error:* Elara says she found it "Two days after the Gala." Per the Character State (ch-15), the Chancellors are currently at the High Spire *immediately* following the gala confrontation with Voss.
    *   *Correction:* Adjust the timeline to reflect that the discovery was made during the immediate investigations following Voss’s retreat in Chapter 15.

### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY
*   **The Somatic Scan Dialogue:**
    *   *Passage:* "I suggests you... move." (Dorian)
    *   *Correction:* Change to "I suggest you... move." (Grammar error in Dorian's precisely-calibrated voice).
*   **The "Grounding" Logic:**
    *   *Passage:* "Mira! The Nullifier is... attempting to ground the entire Reach’s resonance into this room!"
    *   *Fix:* Clarity is needed on why "swallowing" it (taking it into their bodies) is safer than letting it ground into the room’s basalt foundations. Add a line: ORIGINAL → SUGGESTED: "It's seeking a conduit. If it hits the basalt, it brings the ceiling down. If it hits us..." → "It's seeking a conduit. If it grounds into the mountain, the Spire falls. It has to ground into the Union."

### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
*   **Tightening the Action (Economy):**
    *   *ORIGINAL:* "The halberds didn't just move; they retracted so quickly the metal screamed."
    *   *SUGGESTED:* "The halberds retracted so fast the metal screamed." 
    *   *Rationale:* Cutting "didn't just move" removes the "telling" and lets the "screaming metal" do the work.
*   **Adverb Audit:**
    *   *ORIGINAL:* "the Chancellors of the minor houses... whispering frantically."
    *   *SUGGESTED:* "...hissing in the galleries." 
    *   *Rationale:* "Frantically" is a weak adverb; "hissing" provides a better noun-verb replacement that fits the political "vipers" theme.
*   **Cliché Check:**
    *   *ORIGINAL:* "make the accused feel like an ant beneath a giant’s boot."
    *   *SUGGESTED:* "...intended to diminish the individual beneath the weight of the Empire."
    *   *Rationale:* "Ant beneath a boot" is tired imagery for a high-concept fantasy.

### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
*   **Dorian’s "The evidence suggests":** Do not remove or vary this. It is his primary verbal armor and must remain repetitive to underscore his character arc.
*   **Technical Jargon:** Terms like "somatic scan," "mana-density charts," and "resonance cascade" are essential to the "Hard Magic" flavor of this series and should not be simplified.
*   **The Steam Phoenix Reference:** Leave the ending mention of the Phoenix; it’s a vital callback to the school’s integration mechanics.

### 6. VERDICT: REVISE
The chapter is rhythmically sound and hits the required emotional beats for a penultimate climax, but the timeline error regarding Elara’s discovery and the technical grammar slip in Dorian’s dialogue require a quick polish before passing.