**1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE**

*   **Mira’s Voice Signature (Sarcasm/Self-Correction):** The use of "Actually. No." in the line *"Actually. No. I’d find the energy. For you? Always."* and *"Actually. No. You won't"* (spoken by Dorian, mirroring her) perfectly captures the established verbal pattern where she interrupts her own thoughts.
*   **Dorian’s Understatement Scale:** His use of "not auspicious" and "precarious" to describe a life-threatening siege aligns with his peak-crisis formality.
*   **The Binary Star Mechanics:** The transition from clashing elements to "Magma" (Liquid Heat/Vessel Cold) remains consistent with the "Soul-Equilibrium" established in the World State.
*   **Tactile Sensations:** Mira’s POV is heavily grounded in physical markers: "swallowing needles of glass," "thermal bruising," and "scented singed ozone."

**Voice Signature Identification:**
*   **Mira:** **YES.** Identified by her "past and rot" curse, "obviously" sarcasm, and fragmented, tactile-heavy sentence structures.
*   **Dorian:** **YES.** Identified by his clinical "the evidence suggests," "probability," and "circumstances" markers.

**2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY**

*   **FLAG: Character Name Discrepancy (Dorian).**
    *   **The Error:** This chapter refers to him as "Dorian Thorne."
    *   **The Original Fact:** The [character-state] and [Project Context] documents explicitly establish his name as **Dorian Solas**.
    *   **Correction:** Change "Thorne" to "Solas" throughout.

*   **FLAG: Location Discrepancy.**
    *   **The Error:** Chapter 9 places the characters at the "Imperial High Court" in the capital under "Obsidian Siege" by "Null-Guards."
    *   **The Original Fact:** The [World State] "Current Moment" specifically established the characters are at **Pyre Academy** for the "first night of the combined residency," with immediate stakes being a "Star-Strike" within 24 hours at the academy. 
    *   **Correction:** Align the location. Either the characters traveled to the capital instantly (violating the "24-hour Star-Strike" deadline at the academy) or the siege must take place at Pyre Academy/The Volcanic Reach as previously staged.

*   **FLAG: Secondary Character Roles.**
    *   **The Error:** Chapter 9 mentions "Kaelen... Lyra... they're still at the academies."
    *   **The Original Fact:** The [character-state] established Kaelen is already at Pyre Academy managing logistics for the integration. "Lyra" has not been established in the RAG database; her role and location are currently "hallucinated" facts.
    *   **Correction:** Remove Lyra or define her role in the Character State first. Confirm Kaelen’s location relative to the Chancellors.

**3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY**

*   **The Transit Gap:** The transition from the "First night of combined residency" at Pyre Academy (per World State) to being "rogue agents" at the Imperial High Court is jarring. 
    *   **The Fix:** Add a bridging paragraph or sentence explaining the jump from the Academy to the Capital, or clarify if this is a flash-forward.
*   **The "Smith" Constellation vs. "Starfall Convergence":**
    *   **Passage:** "The Starfall Convergence had anchored itself directly above the Eternal Throne..."
    *   **The Fix:** Cross-reference this with the "constellation of The Smith" mentioned in the [World State]. Clarify if the vanishing stars are fueling this specific "eye" in the sky.

**4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS**

*   **Sensory Bleed Awareness (Optional):** In the [character-state], it is noted that Mira suffers from "sensory overload." While she mentions "needles of glass," emphasizing the *visual* shimmer or "thermal bleed" mentioned in the specs would tighten the connection to her physical status.
*   **The Second Star (Optional):** The [World State] mentions a second star vanished. Briefly noting the "bruised sky" or the specific violet hue mentioned in the RAG would ground the atmosphere in the established world rules.

**5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS**

*   **Constraint Theory vs. Kinetic Expression:** Do not "smooth over" the technical jargon Dorian uses. His clinical language is a shield, not a lack of emotion.
*   **Mira’s "Obviously":** Do not change her use of "obviously" to be literal. It must remain a marker of her sarcasm/irritation.
*   **Sentence Fragments:** Mira’s internal monologue is choppy and reactive; do not "fix" these into grammatically complete sentences.

**6. VERDICT**

**REVISE**
(Required due to the Dorian Solas/Thorne name conflict and the significant geographical leap from the established "Combined Residency at Pyre Academy" to the "Imperial High Court" without connective tissue.)