Hello. I’m Lane. I’ve spent the last hour reading this aloud in the booth, listening for where the breath catches and the rhythm breaks. You have a visceral, unflinching eye for detail, particularly in the biological horror of the calving scene. 

Here is my line-level audit of *Cypress Bend*, Chapter 11.

### 1. STRENGTHS
*   **Sensory Grounding:** You excel at the "un-pretty" details. The "sharp, metallic tang of blood and the sweet, sickly stench" perfectly balances the clinical with the atmospheric.
*   **The "Swinging" Sequence:** The transition from David’s despair to Sarah’s extreme measure (the centrifugal force) is a masterclass in character through action. It tells us everything we need to know about her competence without a line of internal monologue.
*   **Internal Rhythm:** Most of your sentences have a clear, "heartbeat" cadence that fits the high-stress environment.

### 2. CONCERNS

#### I. Dialogue Economy & Redundancy
There are several moments where David or Sarah state the obvious, which slows the pacing during what should be a frantic scene.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "The breach. It’s a full breach. I can’t—the vet is forty minutes out. The bridge at Blackwood is still washed out from the rains."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "It's a full breech. And the vet's forty minutes out—if he can even get over Blackwood Bridge."
*   **RATIONALE:** "The bridge... is still washed out" feels like an info-dump for the reader. Shortening it makes it feel like an panicked observation between two people who already know the bridge is out.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "If we don't turn it, the umbilical cord will crush against the pelvis. It'll drown in there, Sarah. It’ll drown in the air."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "The cord’s going to crush against the pelvis. Sarah, it’ll drown before it hits the air."
*   **RATIONALE:** "I know how biology works" is Sarah's strongest line. Let it punch harder by making David's fear less "textbook" and more frantic.

#### II. Adverbial Clutter / Dialogue Tags
You have several "weak" modifiers that act as crutches for the emotion already present in the prose.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...Sarah muttered, her fingers hovering near the heifer's flank."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "...Sarah said, her fingers hovering near the heifer's flank." (Or cut the tag entirely).
*   **RATIONALE:** "Muttered" is a specific action that "hovering fingers" already implies. Trust the action.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...Sarah whispered." / "...David yelled back." / "...she hissed through gritted teeth."
*   **SUGGESTED:** Use simple "said" or let the dialogue stand on its own.
*   **RATIONALE:** You have used "whispered," "yelled," "hissed," "commanded," "panted," and "snapped"—all within two pages. It’s a bit "thesaurus-heavy." The intensity is in the words, not the tags.

#### III. The "As If" and "Like" Trap (Similes)
You have a high density of similes. While many are evocative (e.g., "wet silk"), using too many in a row softens the impact of the reality.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "...her skin pale and goose-bumped in the midnight chill of the barn."
*   **CRITIQUE:** This is great. But then we have "skeleton fingers," "breaking bat," "instrument of torture," and "vice" all in close proximity. 
*   **SUGGESTION:** Pick one "anchor" metaphor per paragraph. For example: "The silence in the barn wasn’t peaceful; it was a weight." (Cutting the "hand over a mouth" makes the opening punchier).

#### IV. Economy of Action
*   **ORIGINAL:** "Sarah didn't hesitate. She dropped the chain and moved to the heifer’s head."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "Sarah dropped the chain and moved to the heifer’s head."
*   **RATIONALE:** "Didn't hesitate" is a "telling" phrase. Moving immediately to the head *shows* she didn't hesitate. Delete the filtered thought.

*   **ORIGINAL:** "Sarah stood up, her joints popping."
*   **SUGGESTED:** "Sarah stood, her joints popping."
*   **RATIONALE:** "Up" is redundant—standing is innately upward.

### 3. LINE DRAFT SUGGESTIONS

**1. The Opening**
*   **ORIGINAL:** The silence in the barn wasn’t peaceful; it was the heavy, suffocating kind that felt like a hand pressed over a mouth. 
*   **SUGGESTED:** The silence in the barn wasn’t peaceful; it was heavy, suffocating—a hand pressed over a mouth. 
*   **RATIONALE:** Cutting "the... kind that felt like" removes the distance between the reader and the sensation.

**2. The Climax**
*   **ORIGINAL:** "He is not gone," Sarah snapped. She grabbed the calf by its back legs. With a strength she didn't know she possessed, she hoisted the hundred-pound animal into the air...
*   **SUGGESTED:** "He’s not gone." Sarah grabbed the calf’s back legs and heaved. She hoisted the hundred-pound animal into the air...
*   **RATIONALE:** "With a strength she didn't know she possessed" is a cliché. Showing her "heaving" an 100lb animal conveys the strength without the tired phrasing.

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### VERDICT: POLISH NEEDED

The scene is powerful—honestly, the episiotomy and the "centrifugal force" swing are unforgettable. However, the prose is currently "over-explained." By stripping back the adverbs and the "as if" comparisons, you will allow the raw, bloody reality of the scene to sit more heavily on the reader. 

**Main Task:** Audit your dialogue tags. Change 50% of your descriptive verbs (hissed, snapped, barked) back to "said" or remove them entirely where the speaker is obvious.