1. PROSE EVIDENCE
- "The green phosphor lines on the oscilloscope didn’t just peak; they swelled, a rhythmic expansion that mimicked a lung filling with heavy, stagnant air." (early): This effectively establishes the "Respiration" world event by blending technical equipment with biological horror.
- "Elias let out a sharp, jagged laugh that died in the cold air. 'The Archive isn’t vibrating, Sarah. We are. My tremors—look at them. They aren't from the cold anymore. They’re a tempo.'" (mid): The dialogue successfully externalizes Elias's internal transition from investigative curiosity to ritualistic communion.
- "Each time it said it, the lights in the room dimmed until they were nearly dark. Each time it paused, the lights flared with a blinding, purple-white intensity." (late): This passage creates strong visual tension by mapping the environmental "strobe-like" lighting directly to the signal's commands.
- "The floor tilted again, a slow, sickening inhalation of the Archive itself. Sarah fell into Elias’s chest, her head spinning, as her recorder began to whisper their names over and over, a litany for the dark." (late): The prose successfully delivers on the "Data Persistence" lore regarding ghost-looping while heightening the physical danger.

2. CHARACTER VOICE AUDIT

**Sarah Miller**
- Quote: "Empirically speaking, Elias, signals don’t 'wait,'... Th-this frequency is just hitting a resonance point in the architecture."
- Signature vocabulary/tics: **YES**. Uses "Empirically speaking" and exhibits the "Th-this" stammer triggered by audio feedback.
- Avoids forbidden patterns: **YES**. She maintains a rationalist framework ("resonance point") rather than spiritualizing the event.
- Emotional register: **YES**. Her logic is fraying, but she freezes analytically before her final breakdown.

**Elias Thorne**
- Quote: "The Archive isn't housing these records; it’s performing them. It’s sentient, and it’s waking up."
- Signature vocabulary/tics: **YES**. His obsessive focus on the "divine" or "sentient" nature of the signal matches his ch-02 state.
- Avoids forbidden patterns: **YES**. (No specific forbidden patterns listed in context).
- Emotional register: **YES**. He is transfixed and vindictive, fitting his 20% arc transition.

3. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
- **Sensorimotor Integration:** The scene where Sarah stumbles ("The floor felt momentarily like the deck of a ship") perfectly mirrors the "physical manifestation" described in the Project Context.
- **Lore Continuity:** The mention of the 1927 "Great Silence" and "Bridging Breath" (late) honors the unresolved open loop regarding the 1927 signatures.
- **Equipment Degradation:** The detail of the "ghost-looping" voice slowing down to a "low, guttural moan" (mid) effectively executes the environmental constants provided in the world state.

4. MUST-FIX -- CONTINUITY
- **ORIGINAL:** "The cold in Sub-Level 4 had sharpened. At 48 degrees, the moisture from their breath should have been visible..."
- **PROBLEM:** World State (Environmental Constants) explicitly sets the temperature at 42°F, not 48°F.
- **FIX:** "The cold in Sub-Level 4 had sharpened. At 42 degrees, the moisture from their breath should have been visible..."

5. MUST-FIX -- CLARITY
- **ORIGINAL:** "The shadows in the corners of the room didn't stay in the corners; they began to pulse inward, moving in time with the 'breathing' of the monitors."
- **PROBLEM:** This lacks clarity regarding the physical space. If the power is "flickering," the movement of shadows needs a light source to be comprehensible as a physical phenomenon rather than just a metaphor.
- **FIX:** "The shadows in the corners of the room didn't stay in the corners; they began to pulse inward, cast long and distorted by the rhythmic flare of the monitors."

6. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
- **Sarah’s Technical Reaction (late):** When the recorder speaks their names, Sarah’s reaction is emotional, but her voice signature suggests she "mutters frequencies under breath rather than screaming." 
- **Verbatim Quote:** "I hear it," she sobbed... "Empirically speaking... it knows us."
- **Suggestion:** Adding a moment where she tries to calculate the frequency of the "unison" voice before her final line would align more closely with her "frozen analytically" trait.

7. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
- **Sarah's repetitive logic:** Do not remove her repeated use of "Empirically speaking" or "Data doesn't lie." These are established voice markers, not redundant writing.
- **Elias's obsessive tone:** Do not "smooth out" his jagged or melodramatic dialogue (e.g., "The machine is the ritual"). This reflects his current arc state of ritualistic communion.
- **The strobe lighting:** The flickering/strobe effect is a world-state constant and must remain even if it feels jarring to the reader.

8. VERDICT: REVISE
SCORE: 82
The chapter is atmospheric and maintains excellent character voice, but it contains a direct contradiction of the established World State temperature (48°F vs 42°F) which requires a factual correction.