adjudication_pass: promote Chapter_14_review_c.md original=68c9c31f-8d5c-47a5-a28f-7532efa4e44d

cypres-bend/deliverables/Chapter_14_review_c.md

@@ -0,0 +1,60 @@
+### 1. STRENGTHS TO PRESERVE
+
+*   **Marcus’s Technical Metaphors:** The use of "High-alpha torque," "Boolean 'False'," and "Systemic Alignment" perfectly captures his lead-dev background bleeding into a survival situation.
+*   **Elena's Command Voice:** Her dialogue is "dry and lethal," matching her "architect of friction" persona.
+    *   *Quote:* "The hydraulics don't care about your latency, Marcus... We need the high-alpha torque."
+*   **Atmospheric Pressure:** The description of the rain as "pressurized atmospheric collapse" and "high-density propellant" maintains the sci-fi/eco-thriller hybrid tone established in the project notes.
+*   **Voice Differentiation:** **YES.**
+    *   **Marcus:** Technical, diagnostic, focused on "latency" and "models."
+    *   **David:** Cardinal directions, rugged, dismissive of "code."
+    *   **Sarah:** Uses support jargon ("Error 400," "Status is wet") to mask trauma.
+    *   **Elena:** Tactical, imperative, focused on physical mechanics.
+
+---
+
+### 2. MUST-FIX — CONTINUITY
+
+*   **FLAG: Character Status Conflict (Sarah Jenkins).**
+    *   **Contradiction:** In the provided *Chapter 14 text*, Sarah is physically present at the cabin, hauling sandbags, speaking to Marcus, and helping with the sluice gate.
+    *   **Established Fact:** The **[voice-sig-sarah]** and **[character-state]** files for Chapter 14 explicitly list her as "Deceased-equivalent/Displaced" and located in "Dallas." The Character State notes she is a "ghost in his machine" and her "unresolved guilt."
+    *   **Correction:** If Sarah is a memory or a digital ghost, she cannot physically "step into the sliver of amber light" or have "shaking hands." If she has been physically relocated to Cypress Bend in a previous unprovided chapter (Ch 12 or 13), the RAG database `character-state` is critically out of date. However, based on the provided context where she is the "human face of his 'clean' code" from his past, her physical presence here contradicts her role as a "distal" motivator.
+*   **FLAG: Character Status Conflict (Arthur Silas Vance).**
+    *   **Contradiction:** The text says, "Arthur said it’d happen if the sky stayed black this long."
+    *   **Established Fact:** **[character-state]** and **[voice-sig-arthur]** establish Arthur is **DECEASED** as of Chapter 1 (or Ch 36 in a flash-forward/legacy sense, but the state says "Died peacefully in his sleep").
+    *   **Correction:** Ensure David’s dialogue clarifies this is a memory or a rule Arthur *used* to say, rather than implying Arthur is currently giving advice during this storm. (Current phrasing "Arthur said" is acceptable as a past-tense reference, but needs careful monitoring).
+*   **FLAG: Geographic Conflict (The River).**
+    *   **Contradiction:** David says "The river’s headin’ North-by-Northeast... through the old fence line." Later, Leo says "The river went South."
+    *   **Established Fact:** David uses cardinal directions exclusively for accuracy.
+    *   **Correction:** If the sluice gate successfully diverted the water, Leo's comment "The river went South" should be the *result* of their work, but David’s initial observation of "North-by-Northeast" must align with the "North-bank drainage" mentioned as an unpaid obligation in the character state.
+
+---
+
+### 3. MUST-FIX — CLARITY
+
+*   **The Cable/Leo Interaction:**
+    *   *Passage:* "Leo was there... holding a length of braided steel cable... He didn't look afraid; he looked integrated."
+    *   *Issue:* It is unclear what the cable is attached to or why Leo is holding it. If it's part of the sluice gate mechanism, the text needs to show the cable being tensioned or hooked to the iron bar.
+    *   *Fix:* Add one sentence describing Sarah or David taking the cable from Leo and securing it to the wheel to provide the "tension" Elena mentions.
+
+---
+
+### 4. OPTIONAL SUGGESTIONS
+
+*   **Physicality of the "Four-Beat Tap":** Marcus tries to tap his thigh at the end but is too stiff. This is a great callback to his voice signature. An optional enhancement would be to describe the *sound* of the tap being replaced by the *squelch* of mud, emphasizing his transition to the analog.
+*   **Alpha-7 Logs:** The character state mentions Marcus is carrying the Alpha-7 back-end logs. A brief mention of him checking the physical drive's waterproof casing during the storm would reinforce the "Fugitive" stakes.
+
+---
+
+### 5. FORBIDDEN CHANGES / NON-GOALS
+
+*   **Do not remove Sarah’s technical jargon:** "Error 407," "Drainage Terminated," and "Error 400" are her established verbal tics. They are intentional "vocal masking" for her stress.
+*   **Do not "fix" David’s grammar:** His "rain-blinded" perspective and "ain't" are consistent with his "Sentry/Physical Defense" role and voice sheet.
+*   **Do not soften the technical metaphors:** Marcus viewing the storm as "atmospheric interference" hitting a "heuristic estimate" is core to his sensory processing.
+
+---
+
+### 6. VERDICT
+
+**REVISE**
+
+The contradiction regarding **Sarah’s physical presence** is a Major Flag. If she is dead/in Dallas (as per the RAG), she cannot be in the kitchen hauling sandbags. If she has been brought to the cabin in a prior chapter, the RAG metadata is "hallucinating" her absence. This must be reconciled before the chapter is finalized to maintain the "Sanctuary" timeline.